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-   -   Vent (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1902-august-2013-playroom/2638923-vent.html)

alittlelost March 29th, 2013 10:34 AM

Vent
 
I know my pregnancy hormones are making me more upset about this than I would be otherwise, but...

I'm on a sport forum and mama there posted a brag about her child learning a new skill in gymnastics.
The moderator immediately replied to her to tell her how her gym shouldn't let her daughter do that skill because her daughter isn't 5. (Her daughter is 4 3/4).

I replied to support and congratulate the mama and pointed out that 5 isn't a magic number. Some kids might be ready for that skill at 4, and some might be 6 or 7 and still not ready, but that I agree that the recommended age of 5 is probably there based on the average child. I also shared some experiences and information about developmental differences between children. There was a conversation about what is "safer" and not taking "risks" and I pointed out there are a lot of things that are safer that people don't do, and it doesn't mean the alternatives aren't safe. And I pointed out that in this sport (gymnastics) not doing it all is really the only "safest" option.

So the moderator I disagreed with sent me a "warning" for going off topic. HELLO?! HE was the one who derailed the topic in the first place. I get that he didn't like the point I made, but to me, that's a bit of a power trip. Anyway, I just deleted myself from the board because I don't have time for people who go on power trips. Could you imagine if the mods here "warned" every person who gave birth differently than they did, or fed their baby different, etc? We all share our differing opinions, but I'm glad there's a forum site like this where that is allowed and no one is "warned" for "going off topic" (when really it had nothing to do with that).

Power trips are just a pet peeve of mine, but add pregnancy hormones and it's a bad mix. I almost never post on that forum anyway (because I don't like how people treat some people there, as they were treating the mama I was trying to be supportive of) so I won't miss it. I shouldn't be surprised this is how they reacted to me supporting someone they were trying to tear down, either.

soccermamatomany March 29th, 2013 11:13 AM

Re: Vent
 
It definitely sounds like you are better off deleting yourself from the group. I try not to debate online with people. I feel like we all have our opinions and trying to get people to see our point of view is wasted energy. That being said, I will try to state my opinion in the most considerate way possible, as I am sure you did.

alittlelost March 29th, 2013 11:22 AM

Re: Vent
 
I think they WISH I had been rude about my opinion; if I had been, they wouldn't have had to give the reason of "going off topic" for the reason for the warning. It just bugs me that they went off topic and hurt a very nice mama and when I tried to offer an alternative view to support that mama, they "warned" me for it. Not a friendly environment, and therefore, not for me.

Husher March 29th, 2013 11:53 AM

Re: Vent
 
I agree you probably did the best thing and just deleted yourself. JM really is fantastic in that way. :)

Tinky March 29th, 2013 11:54 AM

Re: Vent
 
what a weenier!

Honestlymonique March 29th, 2013 12:05 PM

Re: Vent
 
Ughhh I hate that! I remember when I was on what to expect baby dd boards they had a month you where due then in that board they form what I called cliques like they would have groups that would be for each week in the month like for ex: week faith was days 1-7 n I just said I don't get why we have groups within a month why we just can't all talk to each other no matter if u due at the beginning or at the end. And people start snapping. I told them straight up it felt all high schoolish to me. People wanna jump on u just for having a different opinion or stating how u feel. We all adults n as long as u not disrespecting someone else n their beliefs, then just chill.

I hope I sound sane n you get what I'm saying. Just woke up from a nap n doing this on my phone lol

alittlelost March 29th, 2013 12:11 PM

Re: Vent
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Honestlymonique (Post 27241497)
Ughhh I hate that! I remember when I was on what to expect baby dd boards they had a month you where due then in that board they form what I called cliques like they would have groups that would be for each week in the month like for ex: week faith was days 1-7 n I just said I don't get why we have groups within a month why we just can't all talk to each other no matter if u due at the beginning or at the end. And people start snapping. I told them straight up it felt all high schoolish to me. People wanna jump on u just for having a different opinion or stating how u feel. We all adults n as long as u not disrespecting someone else n their beliefs, then just chill.

I hope I sound sane n you get what I'm saying. Just woke up from a nap n doing this on my phone lol

No, you totally make sense :) I feel the same way. I want to feel like I can honestly and openly (though respectfully) state how I feel about things and I will respect others doing the same. I am not "sensitive" in that I want to prevent people from stating their opinion. I don't even really mind debate or heated discussions, so long as there are no personal attacks or name-calling going on. We can't agree on everything; I understand that. but to make someone an "outsider" because they have a different opinion is not a very adult way to handle something, IMO.

JM is one of the best boards IMO for how they handle things AND on top of that we are really lucky because our DDC is full of really cool ladies. We don't always agree, and that's okay. We debate sometimes, and that's okay. But we're all nice, supportive ladies that respect each other through it all (and most of it just fun, relaxing times!). It's a good environment and the best DDC I've ever been a part of for that reason :)

ElliotsMommy13 March 29th, 2013 12:12 PM

Re: Vent
 
That is dumb... Thats why this is the only site I go to.. yet there are still some really rude people here and there who turn everything into a debate!

KASHWORTH March 29th, 2013 12:18 PM

Re: Vent
 
Hey! This is your one and only warning, no posting vents here, only pregnancy talk!!!


Hehehe, just kidding. and yeah that is ridiculous! I would have left as well.

alittlelost March 29th, 2013 12:45 PM

Re: Vent
 
oh drats! we made the OT anagram for nothing :P

BirdsWifey March 29th, 2013 01:18 PM

Re: Vent
 
Wow that is really frustrating! Definitely sounds like a power trip!!!!

Allie_SMg March 29th, 2013 05:45 PM

Re: Vent
 
Wow, I don't even see how that was going off topic necessarily. To me, off topic is someone opening a thread about pregnancy concerns and you posting that you ate Cheerios for breakfast in response. LOL NOT you posting something that totally related to the initial topic. You supported the mama and congratulated her on what she said in her post, then just elaborated a bit on what someone else said. It seems to me it was still partially on topic at the very least because you were still discussing the child and her achievement. :rolleyes: Some people just go on power trips when they become mods, and I'm so glad that this wasn't the case with our DDC at all! :D

alittlelost March 29th, 2013 06:29 PM

Re: Vent
 
Yep. And then they basically said I was lying when I said there are 3 and 4 yo's doing back handsprings and back walkovers or "even anything close" because they have "NEVER" (cap locks their emphasis, not mine) seen that and that I am making it sound like I've seen MULTIPLE kids do it.

Well... that's because I have ;)

by no means was I saying a 3yo SHOULD do a back handspring, but it bugs me when people call me a liar when I'm not lying, just because they don't like what I have to say.

3 year old back walkover - YouTube
"tiny little gymnast" 4 year old doing a back handspring alone - YouTube
first back handsprings (4 year old) - YouTube
4 year old gymnast doing back handsprings on trampoline - YouTube
4 year old back handspring - YouTube
Rylee {4 year old} Back Walkover - YouTube
4 year old gymnast. first back walk over! - YouTube
4 year old Madison best back walkover she has ever done :) - YouTube
Caroline - 4 year old gymnast - Back Walkover - YouTube
4 year old gymnast does whip-whip on training tramp - YouTube

I'm not saying it's a genius idea, but I am not a fan of calling someone else a liar in debate just because you are mad they have a different opinion.

That or what I am seeing in the above links is my imagination ;)

Bookreader March 29th, 2013 08:33 PM

Re: Vent
 
Can you imagine if JM tried to keep a bunch of pregnancy-brained women "on topic?" We would all be so screwed. Lol. I get so much less focused and...I don't know...capable of straightforward thought. :)
That would be a really frustrating situation. I'm glad you removed yourself from the situation.

KASHWORTH March 30th, 2013 06:26 AM

Re: Vent
 
Those little girls are awesome!

alittlelost March 30th, 2013 10:51 AM

Re: Vent
 
Aren't they? I think so too. My daughter loves watching videos of other little girls doing big gymnastics, so we've seen a lot of videos over the years. I've seen 6 year old doing fulls (it's like a back slip with a twist).

I think I ALWAYS have trouble "staying on topic" usually because I use analogies a lot to help illustrate a point. And that sometimes makes people angry, but they always want to pretend it's for a different reason than I suspect it really it. I think people just get mad in a debate when someone makes a point that they can't refute.


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