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-   -   How did you handle your older children when the baby comes? (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1902-august-2013-playroom/2666021-how-did-you-handle-your-older-children-when-baby-comes.html)

lexiandolive July 16th, 2013 10:06 AM

How did you handle your older children when the baby comes?
 
I have a (Just) 3 year old at home. He seems excited about the baby but the realities are very different, I'm sure. What are some good tips that I can do to help him when the novelty wears off and he's trying to get my attention while I'm tired and have a newborn that needs attention as well?

Hesperleigh July 16th, 2013 10:20 AM

Re: How did you handle your older children when the baby comes?
 
Oooh, good question! Can't wait to see the answers on this one. I'm a little worried about the adjustment period as well.

cameronzmom July 16th, 2013 10:22 AM

Re: How did you handle your older children when the baby comes?
 
My son was 5 when my daughter was born but something we did was create a big brother basket of items like playdough, shape cutters, etc for him to play with when I was busy with the baby. He knew he could only play with those when I had my hands full and it kept him occupied :) Maybe special cartoons that he only watches when you're feeling baby,etc?

soccermamatomany July 16th, 2013 11:18 AM

Re: How did you handle your older children when the baby comes?
 
Honestly, I remember some jealousy from my 3 year old when the twins were born, but it did not get bad. When I really needed time to get things done, videos won out. She was a pretty good kid and loved her babies.

My twins were 5 when my son was born and I remember one of them completely acting out, screaming fits, etc. I did not let her bad behavior win. I calmly would tell her that once she settled down, I would listen to what she had to say. She would continue to scream until she realized I wouldn't listen to her. It didn't last long. Probably a month or so. By then I also had a 9 year old and she was a big help.

UrbanMomma July 16th, 2013 12:01 PM

Re: How did you handle your older children when the baby comes?
 
I don't have any good tips, except letting them help with baby as much as possible. I have never really dealt with jealousy issues and for the most part they understand needs get met from youngest to oldest (unless its an emergency).

I for the most part have always had plenty of kids to entertain each other too. :P

sara831 July 16th, 2013 12:18 PM

Re: How did you handle your older children when the baby comes?
 
I don't have tips, but I'm definitely worried about jealousy from my bfs 8 year old daughter. He hasn't even told her yet, and said he was going to wait until we move to California and just introduce them- which I think is a horrible plan. She's never had to share his attention or money (he spoils her rotten) before. Even when I met her if her dad started to pay any attention to me she did something to divert the attention back to her. So, ya... It's nice to read tips cause this does worry me!

Jenilope July 16th, 2013 12:25 PM

Re: How did you handle your older children when the baby comes?
 
My oldest was 15 months when my 2nd was born and, probably just her personality, but we didn't have jealousy issues with her. When I nursed baby she wanted to be close so I would turn on a show for her to watch and she would sit or stand right next to me, often with her little hand on my knee until I was done. I also gave her jobs to do to help with baby (which I did when #3 came along, too) mostly stuff like fetching a cloth or diaper, easy stuff that she could see how it helped right away.

DD1 was 3 and DD2 was 2 when DD3 was born. DD2 was a little jealous but nothing terrible. I did make sure that she had jobs to do to help out and encouraged her to touch and talk to the baby a lot. I also made a point of sometimes actually saying "I'm sorry baby, you have to wait, I'm helping DD1 or DD2 now." Instead of always only telling them to wait. It seemed to help.

Finally, before each baby was born I made an effort to encourage the kids to spend more time playing independently, even just 15-30 minutes for a child who is used to being next to you all the time can really help. And I made sure their room or play room had plenty (but not too many!) of age-appropriate, interesting toys that would be easy to take out and easy to put away (we use bins)

And it's important to remember their schedule, too, when they're that little. It's easy to forget to make morning snack or get 30-60 minutes behind on nap or meals and hungry preschoolers and toddlers are angry uncooperative preschoolers and toddlers.

It will be an adjustment for everyone, but right around that 3 month mark you'll feel like you've got it all well in hand.

Pbear31 July 16th, 2013 03:08 PM

Re: How did you handle your older children when the baby comes?
 
I have read what Jenilope said as a strategy. Saying "Just a second baby, I am helping ____ right now." Even if it is only 30 seconds, it helps them feel special.

This is my second...so I am definitely going to troll this thread for thoughts/feedback/ideas!


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