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-   -   Naming dilema (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f81-baby-names/452554-naming-dilema.html)

candacesoon February 2nd, 2007 06:23 PM

Hi, I'm Candace and I'm 18 weeks pregnant with our 5th child...a boy.

DH and I like the name Miles for a first name. One reason we like it is because DH is a professional musician and a big jazz buff. Our last name is Maynard. Miles and Maynard are both famous jazz musician names.

We are thinking maybe Alexander for a middle name so....

Miles Alexander Maynard

What do you all think? We want something different yet traditional. Can you think of any other middle names that would go well with it?

Here's the problem...our kids HATE the name Miles. (Especially our 15 yr old DD) Would you name your new baby a name that it's sisters and brothers can't stand? Do you think they'd just get over it?

Thanks so much,

_Rebecca_ February 2nd, 2007 09:50 PM

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh but this is what I say to anyone who has opinions on my names I choose. IF you didn't bother to come to the creation of this child then you can't name them, Aorry. I personally like the name Miles. I think it is nice and the fact that it means something to you and your dh is a bonus. Good luck whatever you decide!

ImustBeNuts06 February 2nd, 2007 09:57 PM

I agree....the name really means a lot to you and your DH. Give the baby that name. Your son will get over it. My daughter wanted her new baby brother's name to be Faith! She's very upset that we won't name him that and refuses to accept any other name!

SchwarzeWitwe February 2nd, 2007 09:58 PM

Miles is a *great* name. But I worry how your other children will act towards him if you do give him a name that they hate.

Acadia February 2nd, 2007 10:08 PM

I don't think they should have a huge say in it, since they're not the parents.

But that being said, children aren't exactly mature when it comes to separating personal feelings from their actions. I.e., they don't have the rational faculties they need to realize that you can't judge a person based on the negative associations they have.

So if they'd avoid bonding with their brother, or not want to interact with him, or be angry with you and DH and the baby over this (and some younger kids might ... they don't know how to reconcile those feelings yet), I wouldn't use it. The fact is, they should be just as excited about this as you and DH are, because they will love him equally as much and their lives will be just as changed as yours! A young child that's already feeling resentment over the intrusion and upheaval shouldn't really be made to deal with extra negative feelings on top of that. Part of it might be that they're feeling totally out of control right now ... I mean, I doubt you consulted them about whether you should get pregnant again. Not that you should have. But being completely powerless and subject to someone else's apparent whims is kind of emotionally damaging. They are having to deal with something that is changing their entire lives and it's out of their hands entirely. That would be upsetting to anyone.

But you're still the parents. I'm not suggesting that you let the kids vote to name him Dirtbike or Shrek. They will eventually get over not being able to choose his name but to minimize the discomfort, I'd suggest choosing about three names (all professional musicians if that's what you're after), including Miles if you like, and ask their preference. Ask if they'd choose Miles, Elvis, or Beethoven (for example :lol: ). You might be surprised by what they choose, and in any case, you could always use Miles as a middle name if they prefer something else. Or let them pick the middle name, and if he seems more like the middle name at birth they can call him that. Choosing the middle name (from pre-approved ones, chosen by you and DH) might help them feel like they have more to do with the pregnancy and more of a stake in their little bro. ;)

So yes, they'd eventually get over it and it is your prerogative to decide whether they get any say at all, but it might be at the expense of an early relationship with the new baby.

Kellyf0506 February 3rd, 2007 12:25 AM

I think Miles Alexander is adorable!

I actually know what your kids are feeling, when my little sister was born (1985) I hated her name, worse yet so did my father. My father had named my brother, and I was a compromise between the two, so my dad promised my mom she could choose the first name of my little sister no questions asked. I was six at the time and remember it well. Her name is Ashlee Marie. My father and I called her Marie the entire end of my mom's pregnancy. Needless to say from the moment my father saw her he knew she was an Ashlee, I got over it in about a minute and I'm almost positive Ashlee will be a middle name for one of our daughters. All will work itself out, your children will come around when they see that cute little boy. Good Luck

jag-mama February 3rd, 2007 04:05 AM

I like the name, and I think it goes well with your other childrens names.

::er!ca:: February 3rd, 2007 05:58 AM

I think Miles Alexander sounds really nice!!!!


I think your children will get used to the name, and you should use a name that you like.... not a name that your children accept. Your 15 year old daughter will grow up and have her own children one day and then she can pick out her own names.

suthernWVswthrt February 3rd, 2007 08:51 AM

I'm personally not a fan of Miles or Alexander...but it's your baby and you should name him what you like.

Here's some middle name suggestions:

Miles Paul
Miles Jackson
Miles Jerome
Miles Griffin
Miles Devin
Miles Franklin
Miles Xavier
Miles Brock
Miles Elias
Miles Michael
Miles Marvin
Miles Colin
Miles Brooks
Miles Albert
Miles Amari
Miles Bradyn
Miles Drew
Miles Raymond
Miles Casey

Hey There February 3rd, 2007 09:11 AM

Miles is fantastic. You are the adults, you should make the decisions.

elliebean February 3rd, 2007 09:37 AM

miles isn't really my style, but it could be cute on the right kid. alexander is a cute middle name.

i do think you should ask the other kids if they like the name but ultimately it's you and your husband's final decision.

chele11 February 3rd, 2007 12:48 PM

I LOVE Miles and if it weren't the fact that my BIL's middle name is Miles and he and my SIL are probably gonna name their li'l boy (in the future) that, we'd steal it! :-)

Although I agree that the other children should not be a determining factor in your li'l one's name, maybe honor them by allowing them to help pick out the MN. If your DD hates Miles so much, what were her suggestions? Maybe use her favorite as the MN? My opinion...

Xtine February 3rd, 2007 01:35 PM

I like the name Miles Alexander. I think your other children will most likely get past it and I don't think it will bother them before long.

bebe-v-j February 3rd, 2007 04:15 PM

I like the name Alexander but Miles is NMS.

AYDEN1 February 4th, 2007 08:24 AM

I love Miles Alexander!! Very nice choice!

candacesoon February 4th, 2007 02:56 PM

Quote:

If your DD hates Miles so much, what were her suggestions?[/b]
Thanks everyone for all of your input. Every suggestion that our teenage daughter has is something very trendy and cool.,,,which I would never use in a million years! So at this point it's going to be Miles unless something else pops up.

Thanks again,

***Andrea February 4th, 2007 03:07 PM

Miles Alexander is a very nice name, I like it. ^_^

homemakermommy February 4th, 2007 04:16 PM

Love the name! I would not let the children sway you. Children change their minds all the time they will probably love the name tomorrow. I let people influence the name of my first child and still regret it 13yrs later. Do what you think, this name has meaning to you and you really like it so I think you should use it.

*PurpleMidnight* February 4th, 2007 08:25 PM

also agree with everyone, its YOUR child so you name it, they can name their own kids and Im sure they wouldnt let you have a say when it came time.

SchwarzeWitwe February 4th, 2007 11:05 PM

Oh, how I love the "Its ur baybee name it wut u want" reply.

Are you not worried that the kids will be nasty to the little brother since they dislike the name? Kids do worse for less.


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