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ukmumof3 June 17th, 2012 08:14 PM

I'm devestated
Hi I'm new here my 1st son Kamran was adopted because I was messed up back then on heroin and crack and he was removed at birth by social services i saw him in a family centre for his 1st year I went into rehab and got clean but then broke up with his dad and ended up back on the drugs so social services went to court and got it agreed they could place him for adoption but in court it was agreed that I would receive a letter and photos from the adoptive parents every year and i can send a letter and photos also yearly.
I have to say I can't stand his adoptive mum I have always had to contact social services every year to get them to remind her to send it also always in the letters she goes on about what she has bought him and oh some of his friends at school have famous footballers as fathers its like so what I don't care about that crap I just want to know how he is.
so the letter is due every feb-march I gave her more time this year because I've been busy cos I just had a baby in feb well last week I emailed social services then a few days later I get a reply saying they have moved and not left there new contact details and my letter i sent last year was sent back to social services saying addressee not here.
so that's it, its obvious she's not going to contact them now when its been over a year and I'm annoyed that social services didn't bother telling me last year that my letter was returned.
I have a feeling she will not tell my son he was adopted when he's older so I will never get that chance that I might see him when he's older he has 7 biological brothers and sisters from my family and his dads family to who I'm sure he might like the chance to meet someday.
I don't know how this woman can get away with doing this when it was agreed in court

Alison81 July 20th, 2012 07:03 PM

Re: I'm devestated
I lurk here but my first son was placed for adoption in 1997 when I was 15. It was done through private lawyers and I was told they would send letters and pictures to me every year. I never even got ONE letter. :( I was told there was nothing I can do, open adoptions and semi-open adoptions are based on trust, and the adoptive families have the right to their privacy. They don't want me to know where they live, and the letters were supposed to go through the lawyers but when I moved out on my own at 18 I was told if they chose not to send letters I have to accept that.

Sometimes I am a mess over it and I have put my name on adoption search websites and just hope someday my son finds me, but I will never, ever stop looking. I have 3 other kids now and people tell me to just focus on them but I never wanted to give my son up, and my heart hurts over it so even though our situations and reasons are different, I understand what it's like to feel betrayed by the adoptive family. I know the adoptive families first names only.

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