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-   -   really need to vent (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f65-blended-families/153146-really-need-to-vent.html)

Mom2DyJessAva February 16th, 2006 12:26 PM

well my boyfriend has a 7 yo daughter from his exgirlfriend..back in november i found i was pregnant..boy was i shocked!..it was def unplanned but i love this baby more then life itself..anyways im always wanting to talk about baby things with my boyfriend to which im unable to...like lastnight i wrote him an e-mail saying that i felt a hard bump in the stomach when i was laying down(just letting u no i am overweight not extremely but enough) i was so surprised and happy at the same time knowing that my baby is growing :smile: he e-mailes me back with nothing supportive involving the baby..the only thing that he has said was if it was a girl he likes the name hayley..he also said he feels really bad for his daughter about having another child..even if it was planned..he kinda gave me the impression that he never wanted to have any other kids and only his daughter..dont take it the wrong way..i would NEVER want his daughter to be hurt..hes just thinking that shes gonna be hurt..heck she might even be happy to have a new baby sister or brother..am i right about that or wrong? i no and understand that things are crazy..he works mornings and goes and spend time with her everyday then comes over here..he says he doesnt no how hes gonna do it with 2 kids in different places..i do feel bad about that but theres nothing i can do..i would not agree to an abortion and honestly if something ever happened to my baby i have a big feeling i would break up with him because he doesnt even act like he cares!...sorry for boring all of u!

amyla February 16th, 2006 12:58 PM

i am in a situation a little similiar. i think my SO feels bad for his 6 yr old son and that he is going to have to focus on another child and that will take away from his son being the end all be all.

i think the only thing we can do is wait for the baby to come, i think it will all work out. he'll be just as much in love with the new one. and it's nice to see someone who is so involved with their child, no matter how much it may disrupt our lives.

i hope his daughter wants a sibling. i know with my situation his son probably isn't goign to be too thrilled that he has to share his daddy. he's becoming more and more territorial with me anymore, i can just imagine when a new baby is here. thank god he only has his son every other weekend (i know that sounds awful, but it's how i feel).

Mom2DyJessAva February 16th, 2006 01:15 PM

Quote:

i am in a situation a little similiar. i think my SO feels bad for his 6 yr old son and that he is going to have to focus on another child and that will take away from his son being the end all be all.

i think the only thing we can do is wait for the baby to come, i think it will all work out. he'll be just as much in love with the new one. and it's nice to see someone who is so involved with their child, no matter how much it may disrupt our lives.

i hope his daughter wants a sibling. i know with my situation his son probably isn't goign to be too thrilled that he has to share his daddy. he's becoming more and more territorial with me anymore, i can just imagine when a new baby is here. thank god he only has his son every other weekend (i know that sounds awful, but it's how i feel).[/b]

my bf sees his daughter everyday...and trust me im happy he is so involved (im also happy yours is to) it shows that there great fathers but it makes it hard on us..he makes me feel like my baby isnt important enough and it wont matter to him as much as his daughter...she has 3 older siblings..2 are full grown and 1 is almost there..he never really said anything about him caring about her (his ex) daughter when him and her were having a new baby but i wish he would understand that he isnt the only one in this situation nor is his daughter..there are plenty of kids out there that have to share there fathers with other siblings..i dont see anything wrong with having a step brother or sister..its gonna happen sooner or later...am i being mean and should i actually feel sorry for him? i dont no im sill all confused

maximabella February 17th, 2006 01:05 PM

I think its silly he's so freaked out about his daughter NOT wanting a sibling...this is life...deal with it--right?!

My hubby also has a daughter from a prev. relationship that just turned 9..it would irritate the crap outta me if he was showing more concern about whether or not his daughter wanted a sibling-then the pregnancy/new baby.


If he keeps acting like this, hes only going to make you feel like this baby is less important.

You need to get to the root of this!

kpokorny February 18th, 2006 12:46 PM

Is there any chance of you two ever getting married? I guess I don't understand the problem with two kids in different places if that is the case. Sounds like he plans to remain in separate homes? Maybe you should talk about that, obviously he isn't with his daughters mother anymore, but maybe he could cherish the though of having at least one of his children around all the time instead of being a part time parent?

Just speaking from experience, our kids are all thrilled about the new baby on the way... I'm sure we will have jealousy issues at some point but that is just something we will have to deal with at the time it comes up. I guess I don't get it....


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