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xanthe921 March 16th, 2006 02:12 AM

hi. i'm a 29 yr old mom. i have 2 stepkids (a 14 yr old girl & 13 yr old boy) & my own baby girl. i've been married for 3 years now. my stepkids used to live with us for a year or so, until there was this incident that my stepkids stole my SIL's mobile phone. after that incident, they went home to their mom. 2 months after, my stepson asked my DH if it's ok for him to come back to live with us and so he did.

a few months after i gave birth to my DD, another stealing incident occured. this time my stepson took money from my MIL. i suggested to my FIL & MIL that he should be sent to a child psychologist, but they said that problems like this can be resolved within the family. i tried talking to DH about it, but still my PIL's decision prevailed. sad to say, my stepson would still take money from others. yes, he would be caught but it seems like he's immuned to what DH would say & to my PIL's lectures.

again, i suggested a child psychologist. i believe that the reason why he keeps on repeating the act is because there's no authority figure in our house. he could easily manipulate the elders into believing that he won't steal anymore but still keeps on doing it.

it's so sad because i am so attached to this kid. he's a sweet boy & i love him a lot. but just thinking about the things he's doing, makes me think oherwise. what will i do? another problem is that my PILs keep intervening with our (DH & i) decisions.

appifanie April 4th, 2006 02:27 PM

again, i suggested a child psychologist. i believe that the reason why he keeps on repeating the act is because there's no authority figure in our house. he could easily manipulate the elders into believing that he won't steal anymore but still keeps on doing it.

have you told anyone that? i'm sure you're right.

no good advice, but i wanted to wish you good luck!

xanthe921 April 25th, 2006 06:17 AM

Quote:

again, i suggested a child psychologist. i believe that the reason why he keeps on repeating the act is because there's no authority figure in our house. he could easily manipulate the elders into believing that he won't steal anymore but still keeps on doing it.

have you told anyone that? i'm sure you're right.

no good advice, but i wanted to wish you good luck![/b]
thanks so much. my DH's uncle talked to me a week ago about my stepson. i told him my opinion and he agreed with me. what's more, he talked to my PILs about it and they told DH & me that they are, sort of, turning over SS to us. next week, i scheduled an appointment with our local social welfare office where they would be talking to my SS. I just hope everything would turn out ok. again thanks so much.

appifanie April 25th, 2006 02:34 PM

glad someone agreed with you - good luck!!

Offlikeapromdress May 12th, 2006 07:45 PM

ok, I hate it when people quote DR. Phil. But here goes: unless the child is currently living with you the stepparent should never do the disciplining. Your husband needs to do it! Tell DH how you feel it should be handled but he has to be the one that acts on it. KWIM? We were even told this by a family counseler when we decided to all go to family counseling but at the last moment BM backed out of letting SD go. So it ended up being DH and I and she told us how to handle a lot of situations with SD. This was one of them: discipline. I will tell her she needs to go to her room but that is the extent of it. I make DH handle it.

mom23 May 12th, 2006 08:40 PM

Quote:

ok, I hate it when people quote DR. Phil. But here goes: unless the child is currently living with you the stepparent should never do the disciplining. Your husband needs to do it! Tell DH how you feel it should be handled but he has to be the one that acts on it. KWIM? We were even told this by a family counseler when we decided to all go to family counseling but at the last moment BM backed out of letting SD go. So it ended up being DH and I and she told us how to handle a lot of situations with SD. This was one of them: discipline. I will tell her she needs to go to her room but that is the extent of it. I make DH handle it.[/b]

I hate to say it but the DR. PHil thing is true. My step kids spend the whole summer with us and I am the only one home with them during the day. I would try to ground them and such. Never spank or touch them in anyway but it didn't work out well. While my dh would tell me to handle it because when he got home from work he did not want a gripe session my ss hates me now hates his dad. Has not spoken to us in over 6 months and that was just to say thanks for buying me gifts for christmas. It is very hard for me personally because I love his children and tend to think of them as mine as well. Know I just try to stay out of everything and sometimes feel like an outsider with them. I never realized how hard being part of a blended family it would be.


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