JustMommies Message Boards

JustMommies Message Boards (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/)
-   Blended Families (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f65-blended-families/)
-   -   Dinner Protocol (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f65-blended-families/2152817-dinner-protocol.html)

schoolyearmama November 7th, 2010 07:51 PM

Dinner Protocol
 
likely or unlikely...consider this senario: you are out to dinner with your husband and his ex wife. your stepchild/children are there. (lets leave your kids out on this one). Who takes care of the child? where does the child sit? and more importantly.....who picks up the tab for the stepchild?

My2miracles November 8th, 2010 12:11 PM

Re: Dinner Protocol
 
Ok now if this would be happening pigs would be flying & hell would have frozen over :lol:

But I think I would sit next to DH & his kids would sit either between him & his ex if it were a table or with his ex if it were a booth. I think both Dh & his ex would take care of the kids (although dh's kids are 12 & 16 so not much taking care of at this point.)

I think who should pick up the tab would depend on who invited who. If we were hosting the event then we should - if she was hosting then she should --- however, knowing her she would expect us to pay.

Rachel November 8th, 2010 02:30 PM

Re: Dinner Protocol
 
Yeah, this wouldn't happen for us either, but we have had this situation when my kids were younger and my ex came to birthday dinners.

I think it would depend on lots of things. Who invited who to dinner? Whoever invited the other should pick up the tab for everyone. And I would let the child sit where the child chose to sit.

If the child needed correcting at the table, I would do it. It would depend on the offense, too. If either parent saw it and were correcting themselves, I would not interfere.

Too many variables here to really answer this one.

schoolyearmama November 8th, 2010 06:54 PM

Re: Dinner Protocol
 
okay well heres the situation: BM was in town, she wanted to take SD out her last night. She told DH she was taking SD to Benihanna's, a very expensive restaurant. Later on she called DH and said that he and I should come. DH said we would think about it. Well DH and I talked and said that we dont usually go to restaurants that expensive, but we did want to show a united front with SD. So DH went on the website and checked the prices and found a dinner for two thats $37 dollars so we figured we would stick with that and go.

SD sat in between BM and her sister-in-law to be. BM helped SD pick out what she wanted from the menu. SD decided on the shrimp and steak, and a smoothie.

At the end of the meal when the waitress brought the check BM stopped her and told her to put SD on our check. We ended up paying $86 for the bill, $101 with the tip. :( really? She was taking SD there anyway. Am I wrong??

I also found my self apologizing to BM's SIL because I kept having to reach over her to help SD (9) with her hot tea being too hot, or food she didnt like and needed to spit out ect...

Other than that it was a pretty good night though. I mean we all got along great and had a few laughs. I even didnt mind taking care of SD while she was there, I just felt bad reaching over the girl next to me. But getting stuck with the big check was just wrong I think.

Rachel November 8th, 2010 07:34 PM

Re: Dinner Protocol
 
I agree, she should have paid for her. That's really wrong.

K.A.T November 8th, 2010 09:26 PM

Re: Dinner Protocol
 
Add me to if pigs could fly team. lol What your SD's BM did was wrong. It looks like she wanted to take out her child but didn't want to pay for it. Not cool at all. If that were us, big if, but I'll play along. lol I would be sitting next to my DH and I would imagine that DSD would be sitting next to DH and her BM would be sitting next to her. I would expect that either BM or DH take care of the needs of the child. This is a situation where I would completely stay out of it. I would also expect that BM pay for DSD if it was BM's idea to go out in the first place. I'm big on the person who extends the invite should be paying, regardless of the scenario.

momma2011 November 9th, 2010 12:37 AM

Re: Dinner Protocol
 
Ah one I can actually answer, because we do this frequently. As for who pays, we take turns paying the whole bill. They usually get the short end of the stick because they like expensive restaurants so that's what they choose when they take us out. We don't have a lot of money so lunch at Applebees for all of us is about as expensive as we go.

As for who takes care of the child, she's 11 so she doesn't require much care. Thinking about it, it would probably be the steps who take care of her though. Her stepdad is the most strict of the four of us so he is always first to correct her for something. I am the new one and still novel so if she needs anything she will ask me first, she also wants to be near me all the time so I'm the first to notice if something is wrong.

As for the OP, I can't believe she just added her to your bill, one without asking and two when she invited you. That's nuts!

sweetiez November 9th, 2010 08:42 AM

Re: Dinner Protocol
 
would never happen with us either....
My bf doesnt had kids and only i have one...

So if it were me and my BF and my ex with my daughter....

Me and my bf would sit together and my daughter would prolly sit between me and her bio dad.... and he bio dad is cheap so we would pick up the tab...

Quote:

Originally Posted by schoolyearmama (Post 22074768)
okay well heres the situation: BM was in town, she wanted to take SD out her last night. She told DH she was taking SD to Benihanna's, a very expensive restaurant. Later on she called DH and said that he and I should come. DH said we would think about it. Well DH and I talked and said that we dont usually go to restaurants that expensive, but we did want to show a united front with SD. So DH went on the website and checked the prices and found a dinner for two thats $37 dollars so we figured we would stick with that and go.

SD sat in between BM and her sister-in-law to be. BM helped SD pick out what she wanted from the menu. SD decided on the shrimp and steak, and a smoothie.

At the end of the meal when the waitress brought the check BM stopped her and told her to put SD on our check. We ended up paying $86 for the bill, $101 with the tip. :( really? She was taking SD there anyway. Am I wrong??

I also found my self apologizing to BM's SIL because I kept having to reach over her to help SD (9) with her hot tea being too hot, or food she didnt like and needed to spit out ect...

Other than that it was a pretty good night though. I mean we all got along great and had a few laughs. I even didnt mind taking care of SD while she was there, I just felt bad reaching over the girl next to me. But getting stuck with the big check was just wrong I think.

Thats aweful! She wanted to take DS right? she should of paid.....

My2miracles November 9th, 2010 03:56 PM

Re: Dinner Protocol
 
Wow she's a piece of work isn't she?

In this case, she definitely should have paid for your sd since she was going there & then invited you. And I'm surprised that she didn't take care of the girl - but then you are the main caretaker normally so it makes sense.

In my case, kids live with bio mom so if they need something, they would go to her.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:48 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright © 2003-2012 JustMommies.com, All Rights Reserved.