JustMommies Message Boards

JustMommies Message Boards (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/)
-   Blended Families (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f65-blended-families/)
-   -   getting along with the other parent (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f65-blended-families/2303433-getting-along-other-parent.html)

bowlingbabe6 April 14th, 2011 06:56 PM

getting along with the other parent
 
Maybe this has been posted somewhere and I have just missed it but do you guys get along with your so's ex? How does he 'take' that?

the kids mom and i were forcefully introduced by her bff (a member of the family). Brian was not near me when this happened (we were running a charity bowling event and a bunch of people were there, and I guess she just showed up unannounced knowing very well I would be there according to him). Anyways when I met becki (the family friend) she said that she should introduce us (me and jeri aka kids mom) because brian will never get around to doing it and she really wants to meet me. I politely informed her that its mine and brian's wishes that I meet her when the time is right and under different circumstances but becki turned that statment around and told jeri wanted to meet her so we met and talked...I was very uncomfortable because she caught me alone..brian had no clue until it was all over what had happened, and all i had heard about her was bad things (naturally). Anyways so far (we've been together a year) jeri and i get along great, she's offered us some of camden's (the 2 year old) old baby stuff for the new baby and wants to hang out and says i can call her anytime I need to talk. Now Im not going to be bff's with her..nor do i really care to hang out with her..that's jsut wierd because I have my own resentment towards her for the way she treated brian over the years (some of which was so bad im paying for it in a sense) and the way she parents the kids. But for the most part we are getting along, anytime I ask for the kids on an off weekend (they live with her full time, we get them every other weekend) she lets me have them and offers to meet me half way (she lives about an hour from us). But i think that brian almost has an issue so to speak sometimes of the fact that we aren't at each other's throats and don't hate each other...just the things he says sometimes..."typical jeri" and "see this is the stuff i've dealt with the last 10 years" etc " now the real her is showing"...stuff like that. I've asked him if it bothers him and of course he says no but i was just curious about everyone else?

long post, sorry!

Arachne April 14th, 2011 09:54 PM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
Nope. We don't get along at all. She can't even maintain being civil toward me. She tries, at times, after she's just been a raging beeotch, and then she gets mad because I don't respond how she wants me to. Though her being "civil" toward me, is manipulation. She's doing it because she wants me to do what she wants.

K.A.T April 15th, 2011 10:39 AM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
We can fake it really well, but it's obvious we don't like each other. We never acknowledge the other. Funny thing is that I've acknowledged and spoken to her fiance, but will not speak with her. She's just a *insert bad word here* and I refuse to attempt to be nice with a person who had the nerve to try and get my DH back with me being 6 months pregnant with our son.

Rachel April 15th, 2011 12:02 PM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
We fake it too. I don't think she really likes me and Lord knows I don't like her, but I can be cordial to her.

My ex husband and Neely get along great. We've had him at our house for family dinners and even at Neely's band's shows. It's not awkward at all, but we've been divorced for nearly 11 years and our kids are grown now.

Arachne April 15th, 2011 02:00 PM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by K.A.T (Post 23647358)
We can fake it really well, but it's obvious we don't like each other. We never acknowledge the other. Funny thing is that I've acknowledged and spoken to her fiance, but will not speak with her. She's just a *insert bad word here* and I refuse to attempt to be nice with a person who had the nerve to try and get my DH back with me being 6 months pregnant with our son.

Similar situations here.

K.A.T April 15th, 2011 05:42 PM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fright (Post 23649487)
Similar situations here.

It's infuriating, isn't it?

Arachne April 15th, 2011 06:16 PM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by K.A.T (Post 23651202)
It's infuriating, isn't it?

It really is.

bowlingbabe6 April 16th, 2011 10:17 AM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
so sorry for those that don't get along at all...but then i got to thinking..maybe mine is being fake or putting on a show...something i never thought of cuz im the type that likes to try and see good in everyone ya know? oh well, i'll take it while i can get it

PrettyMommy April 16th, 2011 10:01 PM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
new here but couldnt help reading and commenting. I dont like my dh's ex but we are civil, now at least. She tried to get him back for the first year or so we were together so i have resentment for that but she moved back to Illinois 5 years ago and we havent seen her since, nor the child unfortunately. So with her being so far away its fine whenever she calls to give dh a phone update on his son and i happen to answer. I usually avoid answering if i see it's her. Got nothing much to say to her. I hate my ex's husbands wife, she was the cause of our break up. My dh gets along with them, after a few harsh words and setting them straight a couple times. Its all fake but they dont give him an issue and he is civil with my ex and his wife. I cant be so i dont even deal with either of them, I let dh talk with them every time. SO needless to say none of us really get along but some of us can fake it well enough to survive until the kids are teenagers or grown and we can leave one another alone for the most part. So i'm in the same boat as most of you.

My2miracles April 22nd, 2011 10:00 AM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
Fortunately Dh's ex lives 4 hours away so I don't have to interface with her often. She's one of those people that is sicky sweet to your face & then say nasty thing to her kids about me. Even told them that Dh & I were having an affair & that's what ended there marriage. :mad: She was the one having multiple affairs. Dh & I didn't meet until 6 months after he moved out of her house which was 1 year after they decided to split.

Anyway, the few times I do see her we are cordial. I don't know if she likes me or not and frankly do not care. I know I don't like her but I'm nice for the kids.

katiemama April 24th, 2011 03:33 PM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
It took a full year before I met SO's ex wife. I would have preferred even longer. Ha.

I don't like being around her - I want nothing to do with her. I don't dislike her in a blatant fashion per se. I don't even know her. We are cordial in eachother's company. But I just don't feel comfortable with her and I do not trust her. She's done some things (including trying to take SD 3000 miles away) and she has been quite verbal previously how she thinks a BM is the most important person in her daughter's life (even above her father).

She's borderline and fake. She claims to absolutely "love me" and then I hear little passive aggressive comments that she tells SD. Of course, I would NEVER ever ever say anything negative to SD about her mother - I am very careful about that. I take the high road. I also learned that she tried to get back together with my SO while we were dating. She's a snake.

We do see eachother a couple of times a year when there is a pick up at our home (hate it) or at recitals for SD. My goal is to just weather through it and stay as positive as possible for SD. It's hard.

I'm especially worried about having a child and how that will all work out.

rlmccrady April 26th, 2011 01:41 PM

Re: getting along with the other parent
 
I perfer to just keep my distance from my DH's ex. I tolerate her because of the kids but in my situation I am the bigger and classier person. You really can't argue with stupid, and she is a junkie who is unstable, and has nothing to show for or her kids for that matter. Our situation is a very long story and drawn out court battle with her. My DH has came to the point that you can't even sink in some sense with her anymore, she is too far gone.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:57 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright © 2003-2012 JustMommies.com, All Rights Reserved.