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bowlingbabe6 April 20th, 2011 12:08 PM

our oldest
 
our oldest asked me yesterday when i picked him up from school if he can go with us when we have our big ultrasound to find out if it's a boy or a girl! He was very very talkative yesterday as a matter of fact he never hushed up until we picked up brian (his dad) from work, this is very unlike him he's usually very quiet and getting anything out of him is usually like pulling teeth. we had them all weekend and had to take them back to her sunday and corbin text us monday night and asked if he can stay with us for a night this week...he hates living at his mom, everytime he leaves us/his dad he cries and clams up for hours...so sad to watch

Rachel April 20th, 2011 12:17 PM

Re: our oldest
 
((hugs)) that is difficult. How old is he? Could DH go back to court to try to get physical primary custody?

bowlingbabe6 April 20th, 2011 01:05 PM

Re: our oldest
 
he's 10. I'd love to take it back to court but brian won't discuss it any further than 'we don't have the money' for a lawyer. so i never push the issue. I remember when I was growing up when i turned 13 was when i was allowed to choose who i wanted to live with and if i wanted to visit my dad anymore (my biological father lives out of state and wasn't much a part of my life) and i basically cut off all contact with him but that was my own choice. Brian is a wonderful father to both kids (corbin is 10 and camden is 2) and i wish we could take her to court for custody.

Rachel April 20th, 2011 04:56 PM

Re: our oldest
 
I will never ever understand for as long as I live the logic behind "we can't afford to go to court."

To me, if the kid is unhappy, there is something going on that makes him unhappy. If your kid comes first, you find a way to pay for it.

bowlingbabe6 April 20th, 2011 11:58 PM

Re: our oldest
 
corbin is seeing a counselor for a lot of things he's been going through but if you ask him if he's happy with currently the way things are, he's going to tell you yes because he doesn't want to make his mom mad but brian and i both know that he's not happy, we see it all over him, he doesn't have to say a word. she dresses him in solely sweatpants...up until 2 years ago he didn't know how to button a button or tie his shoes..she puts him in clothes that are youth sizes (and sends him to school dressed like that)..he's 10 years old and can just about wear his dad's clothes (yes he's a big boy)..but corb refuses to speak up to his mother because he doesn't want to make her mad and no matter how many times we tell him its important he tells us/her/all of us that love and care for him what he wants/doesn't want..what's on his mind..etc. he wants to make everyone happy but it's really hurting him in the long run. we've talked to his mother about the things she does, the way she dresses the boys and she never says a word (she makes more an hour than he and i do put together..its not like she's hurting for money). As a stepmommy legally i don't think i can do anything right? it all has to be initiated by the birth parents? or is there something I can do? it hurts to see him like this but and i think alot of the reason brian doesn't want to take her to court is cuz he feels like the state always sides with the mother unless she's a druggie or drinking or the kids are in an unhealthy unsafe environment..like it takes a lot for the father to get custody of their kids (atleast that's what he told me once when i asked).

anybody with any suggestions or anything i'd love to hear them.

thanks ladies!

K.A.T April 21st, 2011 06:21 AM

Re: our oldest
 
I'm sorry that's so sad. That was his issue for a long time too. We didn't have the money for the lawyer. Now it's too late, her mother has brainwashed her for the umpteenth time and he doesn't even want to bother fighting for her anymore. It's really sad. He's kinda given up on his kid.

My2miracles April 22nd, 2011 08:52 AM

Re: our oldest
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by K.A.T (Post 23698563)
I'm sorry that's so sad. That was his issue for a long time too. We didn't have the money for the lawyer. Now it's too late, her mother has brainwashed her for the umpteenth time and he doesn't even want to bother fighting for her anymore. It's really sad. He's kinda given up on his kid.


Same with my Dh. We still have some contact with his youngest but who knows for how long - she's 12 now.

He's completely lost the oldest which is very sad for him. But he just won't fight. It scares me that he'll lose his youngest too. And we'll lose her because she is a part of our family (the older one chose not to) - the kids adore her!


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