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Braysmomma03 June 7th, 2012 10:23 AM

Need some advice
 
Ok I need some advice and thought this would be the best place to come for advice. I have a step-daughter who is almost 6 years old. me and DH have been married going on 2 years, it has been rocky but we are still here. There has been a lot of court dates fighting to be able to see my SD in these 2 years which has torn us apart, but now we are strong again. My mom is the issue, she does not include my SD in anything. She wants her to call her Mammaw, but singles her out of everything. She buys her birthday, Christmas, Easter things but will do nothing with her. She takes my son out to eat, walking with her etc but just totally ignores SD. Today she came over to get my son to take him out of town to eat and my SD is sitting there asking her if she can go, and she just ignores her and asks if my son is ready to go. Im furious at this. I don't want to put my relationship and my son's relationship with my mom on the line but this can't cont. She is hurting my SD. Easter and christmas pictures she won't include her, doesn't even come up and give her a hug, SD has to approach her, but yet my mom will hug my COUSINS gf's kids no problem. We have a baby due in October and shes all talking about how shes going to take him her and there and buy him this and that, im like ***?! She down plays me wanting to cloth diaper, constantly acts like im this HORRIBLE mom, like I don't know how to raise my kids. She doesn't even ask to get my son just tells me when and where she is getting him. How would you ladies approach this?

My2miracles June 7th, 2012 12:29 PM

Re: Need some advice
 
Wow that's really awful of your mom. I can see her having a closer relationship with your son but to totally ignore your sd - even when she's directly talking to her is downright unacceptable.

Honestly, I'd have a talk with my mom if she were doing that. And if after she'd continue, I'd tell her in the future it's all kids or no kids. Sorry if she's really that mean of a person, I wouldn't want my kids around her even if she was my mom. What is she teaching your son????

My dh's oldest dd doesn't want anything to do with me or my dd from a previous marriage. She still has a limited relationship with dh. I set the rule right away when this happened that dh & my son fell in the same category is dd. It was all or nothing. She made the choice so ds doesn't know his 1/2 sister at all. Better for him in the long run. She isn't a nice person.

Other than ignoring the kids thing, my mom sounds a lot like your mom. I can never do anything right. It's easier for me because they live in another state & we only see them a couple of time a year.

plan4fate June 7th, 2012 12:54 PM

Re: Need some advice
 
*hugs*

I too would tell my mother it's all of them, or none of them. Being a step mom herself, she knows the drill pretty well thankfully!


I might have a great relationship with dh's ex, but I do not with his parents/family. So this is something I fully anticipate dealing with one day!

Ember Rose June 7th, 2012 05:35 PM

Re: Need some advice
 
Change it or be done. Her relationship with your son isn't worth the pain it causes your stepdaughter and honestly it's a matter of time before it goes south with your son and she hurts him too.

w292737 June 7th, 2012 05:58 PM

Re: Need some advice
 
^^ditto

Rachel June 7th, 2012 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ember Rose
Change it or be done. Her relationship with your son isn't worth the pain it causes your stepdaughter and honestly it's a matter of time before it goes south with your son and she hurts him too.

I agree. If anyone in my family treated my step kids like that, I wouldn't let them see my kids. it's all of them or none of them.

Keakie June 8th, 2012 07:14 AM

Re: Need some advice
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ember Rose (Post 26137757)
Change it or be done. Her relationship with your son isn't worth the pain it causes your stepdaughter and honestly it's a matter of time before it goes south with your son and she hurts him too.

Yeah, that. Your poor sd. :(

It sounds like the relationship with your mom has several issues. I'm sorry that she's being such an insensitive jerk, and your children are suffering the consequences.

ShesaDreamer June 8th, 2012 03:07 PM

Re: Need some advice
 
With my family we had the boys for 4 years before my DD came along. But my mom and grandma adored them from day 1. Birthday christmas and just because. Would do anything at all for my boys. I would tell her that basically it's all or nothing. If she wants to take your son out for special days thats fine but she also needs to do the same for your SD.


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