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-   -   It never ends now.... (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f65-blended-families/2582857-never-ends-now.html)

mom2more October 9th, 2012 06:41 PM

It never ends now....
 
So we got over the Christmas Break thing and I think we got over the dress thing (though no check has arrived yet for me to return the dress). Now BM is texting saying that her parents will pay for the kids to fly out this summer and they want to book tickets now. They want the kids to come for at least a month.

Problem is that we can't give them dates yet....and hubby really isn't thinking a whole month is a good idea.

We do a big vacation with my family each year and haven't gotten dates together for that because two of my family members don't know their vacation times yet from work. My step kids want to go with because they see a lot of my relatives from out of state who have kids their ages and we have a great time altogether. They don't want to miss out. SS has been talking about it since we got back last summer.

Also, when we let sd go last summer to stay with her grandparents and booked early we later found out that one of the sports she does every year had mandatory practices during the time she would be gone. So she didn't get to try out last spring for this school years team. She really wants to try out for next years team. Try-outs are in spring and if she makes it she will have some mandatory summer practices. We won't know those dates till try-outs in the spring. So we can't give them dates yet.

Hubby called bm back and told her all of this and he said she sounded kind of pissy about it. He said he is open to the kids going and staying with her parents this summer, but just can't get dates together yet. He said that as soon as we got the vacation dates he would try to e-mail the coach of the team sd wants to try out for and ask if she had an idea about when summer mandatory practices will be. And then they can go from there.

I think I liked it better when bm wasn't living with her parents and never called or tried to be involved. I have a headache from all this

Rachel October 10th, 2012 09:24 AM

Re: It never ends now....
 
1. I'm glad BM is trying, or at least her parents are trying.
2. Sounds like hubby handled it well. You can't possibly know what you're doing in 8-9 months from now.
3. She's likely to have moved on by the time you actually get dates and have lost interest, so there's that.

My2miracles October 10th, 2012 10:48 AM

Re: It never ends now....
 
I think it's reasonable to wait until you get dates. We don't have air fare to deal with fortunately but we never plan dsd summer visit with us until the end of May beginning of June because she has activities she needs/wants to participate in.

pickle0313 October 10th, 2012 11:24 AM

Re: It never ends now....
 
I also think that what you guys have requested is reasonable, in waiting to book until you have dates.

An after thought, do her parents have the ability to house the kids for an entire month? I think I would want to make sure they're capable of that before they start booking airfare.

I'm sorry that she's becoming a real headache for you. Hopefully he loses interest as fast as she gained it. Hang in there hun!

mom2more October 10th, 2012 12:59 PM

Re: It never ends now....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by pickle0313 (Post 26635556)
I also think that what you guys have requested is reasonable, in waiting to book until you have dates.

An after thought, do her parents have the ability to house the kids for an entire month? I think I would want to make sure they're capable of that before they start booking airfare.

I'm sorry that she's becoming a real headache for you. Hopefully he loses interest as fast as she gained it. Hang in there hun!

I don't think there is really room for them there. 2 bedrooms...3 adults and 3 kids there already and then add in a teen and a pre-teen! They will be on the couch or floor I guess. Our hope is that by them bm moves out. Though unless she gets back with her loser boyfriend I don't know how she could afford living on her own.

If she did move out the kids can stay comfortably with the grandparents and visit with bm when she comes over or goes out with them all. It will be the same deal as last summer...kids are not to be at bm's home without grandparents and for sure not allowed to sleepover at bm's. The grandparents gave us a bit of an attitude about that last summer...but in the end it became obvious that it was a good thing we said it. Or sd would have been at bm's when her boyfriend got drunk and high and beat her.

Keakie October 10th, 2012 03:01 PM

Re: It never ends now....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mom2more (Post 26636030)
If she did move out the kids can stay comfortably with the grandparents and visit with bm when she comes over or goes out with them all. It will be the same deal as last summer...kids are not to be at bm's home without grandparents and for sure not allowed to sleepover at bm's. The grandparents gave us a bit of an attitude about that last summer...but in the end it became obvious that it was a good thing we said it. Or sd would have been at bm's when her boyfriend got drunk and high and beat her.

Oh gosh. :( I'm glad that she was able to stay with her grandparents too.

Nothing to add that the others haven't already said - I think that waiting to have the schedule is fair, and it gives everyone a large window for things like her moving back out and losing interest again to happen without throwing off plans or wasting ticket money.


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