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Stepmom2Be August 25th, 2013 09:31 PM

Just a bit irritated
 
So Bm is apparently all fine now. Back to normal. She started school again last week, so once again she is too busy to be a mom.

She texted Eric on Tuesday that they both had food poisoning from pizza hut and O was staying home. No big deal. So tonight, Eric was asking him how long he was sick for and he said just that day. And Eric said did you eat anything that day or were you too sick to eat? And O said, well we ordered Pizza Hut. So Eric said no after the pizza hut I mean. And O said no you dont understand, we got sick from pizza hut and stayed home from school and ordered more pizza hut. We ordered pizza hut 4 times last week.

And they spent the whole weekend at her ex boyfriends house. And O said he doesnt like it there because the ex bf makes him do chores all the time. So that he will leave him and his mom alone.

We got there at 5:58 tonight, rang the doorbell, and for roughly 4 minutes we heard them yelling at each other. (O and his mom.) He was giving her the BIGGEST attitude. Like, " Mooooooom! I KNOWWW!!! I JUST TOLD YOU!!!" Like legit yelling. So finally after 10 minutes of waiting, they open the door. I give her the spoon that came home in his lunch box last week that I forgot to give back to her and a tee shirt from walmart. Last week I washed the plain blue tee shirt he wore over our house, it looked new. Well he had chapstick in his pocket so it now has big dark circles all over it. So I replaced it. She said she wasn't worried about it but appreciated the gesture. He was also wearing the ruined tee shirt when we picked him up. So then she said they couldnt find his phone. Now he hasnt texted us back since Wednesday, which was the one and only text we got from him because DH finally told her on Tuesday to please hook his phone up to the wi fi so he can use it. So we got one text, on one day, and that was it.

Turns out, he brought it into his room with him one night and got caught so she took it away. And it was missing. She blamed him, yelling at him that she put it on top of the fridge and didnt move it and he needs to stop lying and tell her where he put it. He again yelled at her that he didnt touch it. They checked her car and we finally left without it. O asked us if we were mad at him and we said of course not, because we believe him that he didnt touch it. 7pm rolls around and she texts Eric, "I must have put it in my room when I took it away, I just found it. Please have him call me." She then proceeds to tell him that it was an accident and nobodys fault and that he is not in trouble. Doesnt apologize to him at all. So Dh says, did your mom apologize for calling you a liar? And he said "No she didnt."

I am just so tired of her just doing whatever it is she wants to do and thinking it's okay.

Is any of this something we can justify going back to court for? Absolutely not. But it so irritating that if she texts him, she expects an immediate text back, but doesn't give us that same courtesy. Sometimes I just wish she would step it up a notch.

Not to mention that her apt was once again nasty. There were spills all over the floor, and pizza hut boxes just piled on top of the garbage can. I just don't get how someone can live like that.

MommytoZoeAlyssa August 26th, 2013 08:44 AM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
:( Hate you have to deal with this non stop. Its not good for O or you guys.
Your in my T&P.

Stepmom2Be August 26th, 2013 04:19 PM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Zoes_Mommy (Post 27612933)
:( Hate you have to deal with this non stop. Its not good for O or you guys.
Your in my T&P.

Thank you.

I just mentioned something about a car accident video I saw to Dh and O chimes in from the other room, "My mom and I got in a car accident on the way to school on Thursday. The front of her car is all messed up. Her flip flop got stuck on the brake."

...I give up. Wouldn't you let the other parent know that his son was in a car accident?!?!?!?!

My2miracles August 27th, 2013 05:18 PM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
Probably not if he wasn't injured. I probably wouldn't think of it. It doesn't take much for cars to get messed up these days since they are all plastic.

HippieLove August 27th, 2013 05:48 PM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
She's a very flaky person, alot like our BM... One day when I get private access I will have to tell you all about her lol. Hugs.

stucklikeglue August 28th, 2013 11:07 AM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
eesh, sorry youre going through this :/

pmdc5286 August 28th, 2013 12:07 PM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
You would think that the other parent would be notified about an accident. When I was on my way to the parenting class for my divorce from Dani's dad, I was in a 3 car rear end collision. The most damage to the kids was that Dani was drinking from a Sprite when we were hit from behind and so it spilled all over her. I still called her dad to let him know.

I will say that when I was in the process of being admitted to the hospital for brain surgery (in the ER), my mom had an accident while the kids were with her (Sean and DSD). They were checked out because of the impact (T-Bone). After the chaos was over my mom called my ex to tell him, but they decided not to tell me until after the surgery was over.

Stepmom2Be August 28th, 2013 03:28 PM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by My2miracles (Post 27615584)
Probably not if he wasn't injured. I probably wouldn't think of it. It doesn't take much for cars to get messed up these days since they are all plastic.

I just feel like even though he wasn't hurt it should be passed on. If it happened with us, we would probably send a quick, "Hey Owen and I got in a fender bender on the way to school. We're both fine but just wanted to let you know in case he mentions it." text or something. I just reverse it and if that happened on our week and we didn't tell her she would RAISE HELL

Quote:

Originally Posted by HippieLove (Post 27615650)
She's a very flaky person, alot like our BM... One day when I get private access I will have to tell you all about her lol. Hugs.

I can't wait! Feel free to PM me. Sometimes just complaining about it helps :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by stucklikeglue (Post 27617169)
eesh, sorry youre going through this :/

Yeah, it sucks, but it's not the worst we have dealt with considering her past.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pmdc5286 (Post 27617314)
You would think that the other parent would be notified about an accident. When I was on my way to the parenting class for my divorce from Dani's dad, I was in a 3 car rear end collision. The most damage to the kids was that Dani was drinking from a Sprite when we were hit from behind and so it spilled all over her. I still called her dad to let him know.

I will say that when I was in the process of being admitted to the hospital for brain surgery (in the ER), my mom had an accident while the kids were with her (Sean and DSD). They were checked out because of the impact (T-Bone). After the chaos was over my mom called my ex to tell him, but they decided not to tell me until after the surgery was over.

Eek! Glad everyone was okay!

And it's not like we feel anyone should be required to.. we just feel like it's a common courtsey. Especially considering she texts us to tell us they BOTH have diarrhea. If we need to be notified of her bowel movements, then we should also be notified of car accidents, lol.

And again, it's not like I'm sitting her fuming over any of this. TBH, a bunch of little annoyances are much better than one big one IMO. It's just frustrating that we never get the same respect we give her.

AtomicMama August 29th, 2013 05:43 AM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
The thing with little annoyances, though, is that it's ALWAYS something. That can be so hard! A lot of times if you vent about them (IRL) to people who don't understand, it can sound so petty. It's when the all add up and build and build that it's so hard to live with. Like, if one of the first real "issues" with her had been the car accident, you probably wouldn't think twice, or you might be a little peeved, but it wouldn't be much of an issue. It's just that it's always something.

And as far as the accident goes, I think it's all dependent on the relationship between the parties, you know? For some families/co-parenting relationships, it wouldn't warrant letting the other parent know. In your case, she updates you about so many innane little things, or expects to be informed of every cough and scrape, that to not let you know about an actual car accident, even if it was just a fender bender, is annoying. Like you said, if the roles were reveresed you would tell her, and if you didn't, she would have gone ballistic.

My2miracles August 29th, 2013 10:48 AM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
Yeah double standards are annoying.

Stepmom2Be August 29th, 2013 04:33 PM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LifeToTheMax (Post 27618820)
The thing with little annoyances, though, is that it's ALWAYS something. That can be so hard! A lot of times if you vent about them (IRL) to people who don't understand, it can sound so petty. It's when the all add up and build and build that it's so hard to live with. Like, if one of the first real "issues" with her had been the car accident, you probably wouldn't think twice, or you might be a little peeved, but it wouldn't be much of an issue. It's just that it's always something.

And as far as the accident goes, I think it's all dependent on the relationship between the parties, you know? For some families/co-parenting relationships, it wouldn't warrant letting the other parent know. In your case, she updates you about so many innane little things, or expects to be informed of every cough and scrape, that to not let you know about an actual car accident, even if it was just a fender bender, is annoying. Like you said, if the roles were reveresed you would tell her, and if you didn't, she would have gone ballistic.

Quote:

Originally Posted by My2miracles (Post 27619623)
Yeah double standards are annoying.

Exactly. It's just common courtesy to let the other parent know that his child was involved in a car accident. Especially if you're going to text us to tell us you BOTH have diarrhea. If we can know when you move your bowels, We can know when our child was involved in a car accident.

And it is little things every single week. Every week this woman tries her darndest to annoy us somehow. Today she called and left me a VM saying that she still wants to bring O's phone by so they can text each other and why hasn't Dh texted her back? Well the last text Dh has from her was before that even happened.

Funny how she doesn't give the phone a second thought when it's to be used to communicate with us, but the second she can't text him, it's a big urgent thing and needs to be returned asap.

AtomicMama August 30th, 2013 05:55 AM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
Did you guys buy the phone? I'd probably be a butt head and just say that you feel like if he was abusing his phone privleges, that it needs to be taken away for longer, since he's not responsible enough with it. I'd have her return it, and I'd hang on to it for awhile. But I'm also mad at the world today, so I'm probably just being mean.

That said, there needs to be equal expectations for both sets of parents. If she wants constant access to him, you guys deserve the same.

Stepmom2Be August 31st, 2013 11:58 AM

Re: Just a bit irritated
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LifeToTheMax (Post 27621248)
Did you guys buy the phone? I'd probably be a butt head and just say that you feel like if he was abusing his phone privleges, that it needs to be taken away for longer, since he's not responsible enough with it. I'd have her return it, and I'd hang on to it for awhile. But I'm also mad at the world today, so I'm probably just being mean.

That said, there needs to be equal expectations for both sets of parents. If she wants constant access to him, you guys deserve the same.

Yes, we purchased the phone. She did not contribute financially at all.

Yeah she texted me 2 nights ago saying nobody ever got back to me about returning the phone. I replied, we never knew you wanted to. She said she told O to tell us to set something up with her.

I politely told her O says he does not like being the messenger as it puts him in the middle. She then claimed she never told O to tell us anything and why am I so hell bent on hating her and I need to grow up.

I then said, "I am going to politely ask you to refrain from coming at me with an attitude. I refuse to partake in this childish argument, as it is taking away from my time with my family. Goodnight."

To which she replied, "Just remember that is MY son making up "your family" "


So something has her all irritated at the world. I simply said, "I'm so sorry you have nothing better to do on a thurs night than to bother me, but I have things to do so please stop texting me."

So she said, "Im studying to be a nurse. Leave me alone."

So whatever. She's angry at the world and I was her target.

Should I have just ignored her? Maybe. But then I would still be irritated about it. I literally told Eric about the conversation that night and then haven't brought it up again. Because it doesn't bother me. Had I just sat there and let her abuse me and put me down and claim my family belongs to her, then yes I would still be livid.


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