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-   -   Would you leaveyour church if? (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f44-christian-parenting/2710278-would-you-leaveyour-church-if.html)

Thankfulhelpmeet February 27th, 2014 10:29 AM

Would you leaveyour church if?
 
Would you consider leaving your church if the pastor was not willing to take any constructive criticism?
Would you consider leaving your church if you felt that your family would be worse off staying there as the people in the church have been slipping in their morality, modesty, and spirituality?
Would you consider leaving your church if you didn't have another church to leave to?
Would you consider leaving your church if your pastor says from the pulpit "those who have left our church their lives have ended in spiritual ruin?" (is this a threat or spiritual abuse?)

Thank You! In need of prayer regarding our familys current church situation!

We are from Canada and there are not many strong churches out here!

aect-mama February 27th, 2014 12:13 PM

Re: Would you leaveyour church if?
 
Would you consider leaving your church if the pastor was not willing to take any constructive criticism? Yes. I think anyone in a position of leadership or authority, whether it be a pastor, teacher, doctor etc, who isn't willing to accept constructive critisism is lacking in humility and not in a good place to be offering guidance to anyone.
Would you consider leaving your church if you felt that your family would be worse off staying there as the people in the church have been slipping in their morality, modesty, and spirituality? Probably not if this were the only issue. No matter how "good" the leadership in the church is, the congregation is made up of individuals who have to make their own choices and moral judgements based on their personal relationship with God. It's not our place to judge them. When people are making poor choices, it's usually when they need a strong community of faith around them the most. However if these problems are primarily with the leadership of the church, not the church members, then I would wonder if it might be time to leave or encourage the leaders to move on until they were in a better position to lead.
Would you consider leaving your church if you didn't have another church to leave to? Yes. God can teach us a lot in a season of searching. It's good to meet Jesus in different places and different ways every now and then. I think it keeps faith from growing stale.
Would you consider leaving your church if your pastor says from the pulpit "those who have left our church their lives have ended in spiritual ruin?" (is this a threat or spiritual abuse?) This does sound like spiritual blackmail to me. Very scary stuff and I wouldn't want to be a part of a church who's leaders really believed this. Yes I would probably leave.

I feel I need to add to my answers here to clarify that having only a very limited understanding of what is really going on in this church based on what you have said so far, I don't want to pass judgement too quickly. There may be perfectly valid reasons for you to stay. Maybe you could be a light to those around you there. But it does sound like you are very uncomfortable there and wanting to leave. If you feel that your relationship with Jesus is suffering from being in this church then you should move on. But keep in mind that there are problems in every church. If you're looking for perfection from your pastor you aren't going to find it anywhere. If you are looking for a congregation that always upholds a strict moral standard you'll always be dissapointed.

I will be praying for you as you try to discern the direction Jesus wants you to take in this situation. I hope you can find a church where you feel you can trust the leaders and be supported by a loving and grace filled community. Please keep us updated. :)

Thankfulhelpmeet February 27th, 2014 02:12 PM

Re: Would you leaveyour church if?
 
Thank you so much for taking the time to give me some advice. I really appreciate it Audrey and I really appreciate your prayers. Thank You for your encouragement and honesty!

#5in2005 February 28th, 2014 10:13 AM

Re: Would you leaveyour church if?
 
Audrey answered the questions well. Good luck in deciding what to do.

rachelc0 April 1st, 2014 08:32 AM

Re: Would you leaveyour church if?
 
i left my regular church when i felt abandoned by them, and it just broke my heart. all through high school i was very active in our tiny church. i taught vacation bible school and taught music to the sunday school. i sang in the choir and at least once a month had a solo for regular church service. i participated in the youth activities and loved every single minute.

when i was 19 (and not married) i got pregnant with my son. i didn't think it would have any effect on my church life but it did. i wasn't asked to teach at VBS. they didn't want me to sing at christmas time (which i did every single year). i finally asked one of the organists and she said that it was brought up during one of the counsel meetings that i no longer participate in the church's activities until at least the baby was born. i was confused because singing wasn't any health risk for my pregnancy. she said the church was worried about a pregnant unwed teen teaching the bible school.

i was devistated. i had given my entire soul to a church that was ready to can be when i needed them most. i don't know whatelse had happened, but this and i imagine a few other reasons caused the pastor to leave. he was always so willing to have me at the new church he was at, but it just wasn't the same. sure i enjoyed the pastor. but the congregation. the kids. the beauty and history of the church itself. it seemed tainted after everything that happened.

when my son was 13mo old, i married his dad and all of a sudden, the church was willing to welcome me back with open arms. but i don't feel welcome. when i run into old church-folks they always say "it's been a long time since you've graced the church with music, you should come and sing for old time sake" and i just smile but i can't bring myself to go back.

because of all this, DH and i sat down and had a long coversation about what religion we would raise our children. the church had abanonded me so abruptly that we chose to baptise in the catholic church (DH's church). he's been pushing me to convert and i really don't want to do that. so i've been sitting in limbo, looking for another church i can call my own.

#5in2005 April 1st, 2014 08:58 AM

Re: Would you leaveyour church if?
 
So sad to hear :( I think people forget what the true mission of the church is sometimes, to embrace each of us as the sinners that we are, and not one sin is worse than the other in the eyes of the Lord.

Anyways, I hope you find a church that you can call your own sooner rather than later.

Excited_mommy July 30th, 2014 06:19 PM

Re: Would you leaveyour church if?
 
You could always start your own home based church.


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