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-   -   Unsolicited advice from men. (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1948-december-2013-playroom/2676534-unsolicited-advice-men.html)

Betts September 3rd, 2013 11:03 PM

Unsolicited advice from men.
 
So far I've gotten:

- What I should and shouldn't eat.

- "you shouldn't get an epidural, it's not that bad"

- "women have been having babies without epidurals forever, you can handle it. "

- "if a mother really loves her child, she'll breast feed"

- " you better breast feed" ( from my dad)

- "I could tell by looking at you that you're having a girl" (not advice, but still bugs me)


It bugs me when anybody gives me unsolicited advice, but why does it bug me so much more when men do it??? I just want to tell them to shove their advice you-know-where.

HorseGal September 4th, 2013 12:28 AM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
Mine would be -Thats all your eating, your supposed to be eating for 2!-

lily26 September 4th, 2013 01:05 AM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
I havent figured out why men feed the need to share there 'knowledge'.
I know they're just trying to be nice and helpful, but it comes out sounding really off putting.. maybe its because they dont have a vagina... so they can't 100% know.

I get the breastfeeding thing alot more from the men in my life, then the women.

lily26 September 4th, 2013 01:05 AM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
I havent figured out why men feed the need to share there 'knowledge'.
I know they're just trying to be nice and helpful, but it comes out sounding really off putting.. maybe its because they dont have a vagina... so they can't 100% know.

I get the breastfeeding thing alot more from the men in my life, then the women.

mommy-of-one September 4th, 2013 05:47 AM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
I don't know if this is advice, but if I accidentally fall asleep for a nap after work or on the weekend, my DH will NOT wake me up, even if the house was on fire. The OB made one comment in my very first visit that its best to let me sleep once I fall asleep. Now, even if we have plans or something really important that needs to get done, I am on pins and needles hoping I don't fall asleep because if I do, it could be hours before my body wakes myself up! I have just recently trained DD to not let mommy take naps, but that has started to backfire on me!

kara74 September 4th, 2013 05:48 AM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
Men other than an OB should not be giving advice re: pregnancy. :/

The men in my life know better than to give advice about pregnancy to a woman who is on her 4th baby.

swade66 September 4th, 2013 07:19 AM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
My FIL says that we have modern science and should use it. All women should have c-sections because it is safer for babies and there are plenty of drugs for pain so women in labor should be comfortable.

redbirds September 4th, 2013 11:47 AM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
OMG! :smackshead: I can't believe some of these :rollseyes: My DH plays the blissfully ignorant role and keeps everything to himself. He doesn't offer any opinions, but knows to let me rest if I'm going to bite his head off ;)

Brittanie September 4th, 2013 02:07 PM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Betts (Post 27630423)
- "you shouldn't get an epidural, it's not that bad"

- "women have been having babies without epidurals forever, you can handle it. "

I have often thought that men should one baby, just one, just so they can KNOW. Because until you've BEEN THROUGH IT, you can't possibly have any idea what it feels like.

Even the "simulations" done on men so they can feel what contractions are like, they can't simulate how it feels to have your pelvis pushing apart, the pressure on your cervix, your vagina stretching/tearing. Yeah, they should just stfu. You may have WATCHED your WIFE do it, but...yeah.

mom2zachnmac September 4th, 2013 03:13 PM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
This wasn't advice but it is further proof that men, even in the medical profession, just don't get it. I went into the urgent care after my first was born due to what turned out to be a really bad UTI. The male nurse upon a bloody urine sample asked me if I was having my period. I was 5 days postpartum, and HAD THE BABY WITH ME!!!

Betts September 4th, 2013 09:12 PM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
My husband is actually very supportive. He doesn't offer up any advice (God bless him).

But my dad is in town and if he's not criticizing or telling you how his way of doing things is better, then he's not talking or he's sleeping.

It's driving me nuts!

n8tsmomma September 4th, 2013 09:56 PM

Re: Unsolicited advice from men.
 
A man commenting on epidural use deserves to be slapped! After 48 hours of hard core contractions without any pain meds I can honestly say I might want the epidural this time even though last time I didn't. Men should just keep it to themselves or go join a men's pregnancy group to get all the things they want to say out of their system.


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