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-   -   Quick Question (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1369-done-after-one/2411409-quick-question.html)

Jannell September 10th, 2011 08:22 AM

Quick Question
 
Hi! I see this board doesn't get much raffic but hopefully a few of you can answer. I am seriously considering being done at one. Although it wasn't long ago we were going to try next year. I am really not sure and wanted to know how did you all know (and when) you were sure you were done at one child? Thanks so much! :)

youngwoman September 14th, 2011 05:20 AM

Re: Quick Question
 
For us, as our DD has grown and developed her personality, we found we really don't want to repeat the newborn/infant stage. Those early days were rough for us, as I struggled with PPD, it affected my DH, etc. Just a stressful period in general for our family.

But also, financially, one child makes sense for our family. Our resources would be severely stretched if we added a second child and we just don't want to do that in this economy.

Hope this helps! Good luck with your decision.

*Jennifer* September 14th, 2011 01:58 PM

Re: Quick Question
 
Hubby and I discussed it before we got married. He let me know with his health issues, that he would not be able to emotionally or physically handle more than one. He asked me if I would be okay with that. I said I was.

Quote:

Originally Posted by youngwoman (Post 24830911)
For us, as our DD has grown and developed her personality, we found we really don't want to repeat the newborn/infant stage. Those early days were rough for us, as I struggled with PPD, it affected my DH, etc. Just a stressful period in general for our family.

But also, financially, one child makes sense for our family. Our resources would be severely stretched if we added a second child and we just don't want to do that in this economy.

Hope this helps! Good luck with your decision.


Financially it makes sense for us too!

I loved the newborn/infant stage, but I only had one baby. I don't have it in me to care for a newborn and give my son all the love I want to give him. Hope that doesn't make me sound like a bad mom.

mrsdaiwa24 September 16th, 2011 02:34 PM

Re: Quick Question
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by *Jennifer* (Post 24834853)
I don't have it in me to care for a newborn and give my son all the love I want to give him. Hope that doesn't make me sound like a bad mom.

I don't think that makes you sound like a bad mom. I look at my daughter and my heart is so full of love for her -- sometimes I think like I'd be betraying her if I had another. I know it sounds weird, but I just do.

To answer the question, when DH and I had the "I want to have a baby talk", it was very clearly stated that the desire was to have A baby, not many. When we first talked about this, I was just so excited to try for one that I agreed -- and then felt so blessed when I had her that I was content. Like I said in my intro post, there's part of me that would like another, but I know in my heart that we're done. Financially, it will be so much easier for us to give her a good life. Emotionally, I don't know if I can handle going through everything again. And finally, I'm 36 (and a half!), so while there is still time for another, with only one good ovary, I know that my chances are going down every month.

MammaHutch October 20th, 2011 09:00 PM

Re: Quick Question
 
Our first is not even here yet and we know we dont want another child. :) Its a lifestyle and a personal choice. I want to raise one child to the fullest, be able to support him financially until he is ready to be on his own. I want to show him things, I dont want to stress ever, and sometimes having more kids = more stress. I come from a very big family and by no means am I against larger families, I just know they are not for everyone. No one can really tell you whether you will be done or not, you have to see how it goes and how you feel. Also, I have seen so many jealousy issues with siblings, and I have seen moms get sooo stressed and I have seen marriages fall apart all because there was more then one child. I dont want that. Hope this helps a little.


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