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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
November 28th, 2005, 12:23 PM
theycallmelisa
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I don't know wether to be happy about this or not.

I had a suspiscion for awhile, after I was getting no signs of AF and my nips were really big and sore for a week straight.


Up until today, when I actually found out that i AM pregnant, I was so sure and telling Colin (fiance) that I'd have an abortion... but now, I really don't know. Funny how finding out changes all of the ideas you had before...

Terrible timing.

We have one child already, thorugh him and a previous relationship, he's 2 years old. We are planning to file for bankruptcy at the end of december, beginning of january.

I have no job, and therefore can qualify for maternity leave. I am very close to getting a job that I really want at a chiropractors office, but they have made it clear that they want someone who's going to stay put for awhile, seeing as the last 3 ppl they hired have gotten pregnant and are on mat leave.

We're going to have to move, again, into a bigger place. We finally got this two bedroom apartment in may, and now we'll need a 3. I hate moving.

ARGH TERRIBLE TIMING!!!!!!!!

Colin is apparently against abortion, something I didn't know until I told him I thought I was pregnant.

My mom and my whole family are against it. We're catholic, and although I'm not religous at all, my family still feels it goes against their values.

OMG. What are we going to do....
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  #2  
November 28th, 2005, 01:10 PM
Poetique's Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 702
I'm sure you could hold off on getting a new apartment for awhile so I wouldn't worry too much about that...
As for the job, I'm sure you can find another job....Things like this usually have a way of working out....I am also catholic but I am pro-choice...

I hope you can come to a decision that works for you and your husband....goodluck and god bless!
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  #3  
November 28th, 2005, 01:13 PM
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I think everything will turn okay. I am similiar situation as you, I have a 5 yr old and a 11 month old and I am 16 weeks preg. We are living with my dad and sharing one car. I feel like I am stuck in a hole, but I really think that must be for a good reason. Its hard but try to think positive about it. I am sure you will make the best decision for you.

Chasity
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  #4  
November 28th, 2005, 05:47 PM
viXen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think everything will work itself out... believe me, I know that is easier said than done, but as someone who is living in the smallest 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment and with Nathan not being able to find steady work, I know the feeling!

I worry about money every day of my life and I know you will too. It is normal, that is what we are supposed to do! haha

The fact that you are doubting the choice of abortion is enough for me to tell you not to do it. I was the same exact way. I always assumed I would get an abortion if I got pregnant. Well in February I got pregnant. All of a sudden, this was my baby, and I wanted to keep it! But... I got an abortion. It was the most horrible thing I had ever done in my life, because there was part of me that wanted to keep that baby so bad! Now here I am, pregnant again, and I knew I had to keep her!

The choice is yours of course, and we will all be here to support you no matter what. I just wanted to tell you about my experience... they may tell you about the procedure, but they don't tell you about the emotional issues you will encounter later, especially if you had doubt about an abortion in the first place.

<3
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  #6  
December 5th, 2005, 03:55 PM
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I don't know what advice I could offer that you do not know already. You already know the feeling of being pregnant and feeling that life inside of you. There are lots of organizations out there set up to help new mothers in a bad financial situation. And as far as moving out. Your son is only 2, he can share a room. Good luck and congrats.
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  #7  
December 5th, 2005, 09:54 PM
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Please, please have faith that everything will be Okay. I have never regretted anything more in my life than my abortion seven years ago. If there is one single thing I could change in my life it is that decision- I am still mourning that loss though I have moved past the guilt spiritually.

Best wishes.
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  #8  
December 6th, 2005, 12:16 PM
Brickybrat20's Avatar Veteran
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Hopefully everything will work out for you. I don't think you should have an abortion, but I am not here to tell anyone what to do. If you ever need someone to talk to, please email me.
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  #9  
December 14th, 2005, 06:58 AM
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I think your feelings are completely normal. Even I had these thoughts run through my mind when we found out I was pregnant...and we had talked about trying!

Suddenly, everything became scarier to me b/c it became a reality when I seen that "pregnant" sign. I cried for about a week, too...I even was depressed for about a month. BUT, I think a lot of that is hormones & of course, the big change in your life. I can honestly tell you (and I'm kind of ashamed to admit this) but abortion flickered through my mind up until about 16 weeks. However, deep down I KNEW inside I really wouldn't follow through with it, but I was just so scared and unsure about what would happen....

Then the hormones died down and I started thinking more rationally and realized everything is going to be ok.

Just an observation, but I see you put a pregnancy ticker in your siggy. Honestly hon, if you really were leaning towards an abortion, I doubt you would put that ticker there. I bet you are excited inside but are just so scared and the scared feelings are influencing the thoughts about abortion...I think if you truly were against this pregnancy, you wouldn't of put a ticker in there I hope I'm not "stepping on your toes" by saying this. I'm saying this b/c I feel like I've been in your position and I'm sure we have felt similiar feelings.

However, if you do decide on an abortion, you are not a bad person. I really suggest you talk to someone first b/c an abortion is a VERY emotionally scarring thing to go through.

You say you are Catholic, so I assume you are fairly religious. If you really do want this baby but are just so scared of the "unknown" for when the baby comes, have faith in God. Don't let fear stop you b/c you might truly regret it if you let fear control your actions.
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  #10  
December 14th, 2005, 02:51 PM
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I don't know if I am one to be giving advice, since I am so unsettled in my own little world. But like you, I wasn't planning on this, and my first thought was, I can't have this baby. I had an abortion in the past, and it was not done properly, which made an already emotional experience worse. Its the one thing I regret in my life. I didn't realize it would screw me up as much as it did. Even still, I stand behind friends who have had them since. You have to do what is right for you.

I do have to agree with someone else who said that the ticker's on your post may signify how you feel in your heart, even though you are scared. We seem to show emotion without meaning to sometimes, as a lot of my friends said they knew I was keeping the baby before I said it simply by the way I talked.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide...
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  #11  
December 18th, 2005, 07:32 PM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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take some time to just relax and not stress about being pregnant. I have had 2 unplanned pregnancies. My son was not planned and neither was my new daughter. They are both young enough that they can share a room until they are a little older. And as for a job, I found a job while I was pregnant, and they knew I was pregnant. I went back to work when she was 6 weeks old. They were great about it all.

As much shock as an unplanned pregnancy can bring, it can also bring great joy. Both of mine came at a time when I needed something to give me hope and something to look forward to.
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  #12  
December 19th, 2005, 01:49 PM
Mommy2Ethan's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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if your even questioning yourself on the abortion, thats pretty much telling yourself dont do it. Have u tried to get aid through the state you live in? all i do is worry about money every day. Its horrible but i think that it comes with the territory. I never thought i would be 20 and pregnant, and now im 5 1/2 months and so excited to have a son coming..It will all get better i promise
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  #13  
December 28th, 2005, 04:30 AM
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Hi,

I just popped in for the first time in a while.. I know that things semm tough right now. I am engaged myself and just planning a wedding and keeping up with bills and not going broke is hard. I am not pregnant and never have been. But I want you to really think about abortion. Think of the child you have now and if you had had an abortion then what you would be missing. It will be stressful at times but you will make it. I work on the Labor and delivery unit at my local hospital and I have seen people far more worse off then you..God will provide you with everything you need and you will make it! I promise! Please don't have an abortion.
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