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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
June 23rd, 2008, 11:28 AM
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If I had the energy to get into the entire story I would. But I am so down... my partner totally took the wind out of my sails. I am getting to the point of my resentment becoming hatred. We have had quite a tumultuous relationship and I can honestly say, the darkets parts of my life have been due to him. He is more of a jerk to me than ever. After years of tolerating his BS, I find myself pregnant. I WAS thrilled, until we got into an argument and I told him. Since then, what he calls support has been criticism, belittling and continued wearing away at my self esteem. I want my baby. He doesn't. He won't come out and say it, but he is saying it in a round about way... I can't even complain about my pregnancy symptoms, the tiredness, the nausea....to him it's being lazy, and it's annoying HIS WORDS. He keeps throwing up the ex who faked her pregnancy. He keeps throwing his issues with me into the mix, when all I want to do is focus on this blessing. He even downs my ability to be a mother. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and I am so afraid that he is going to stress me to the point of losing this baby. I will NEVER forgive him. He makes this entire thing, as he does EVERYTHING, about him. His family keeps telling me to ignore him, that he is just lashing out because he finally has to grow up. Easier said than done. I am so hurt and alone right now. I know I have them to lean on, but there are so many other things going on my life right now aside from this...MAJOR things... that I just don't know where to turn. I feel like just walking out and never looking back, but I know he won't make that easy...not even for the sake of our child.
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  #2  
June 23rd, 2008, 11:55 AM
~Kate T~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You need a great big (((HUG)))

I am soooo sorry that you are going through this. I was only lurking around but, I can somewhat relate to resentment toward a partner that is unsupportive during pregnacy. It is trully horibile. The baby needs good positive vibes right now and he is ruining the whole thing for you. I would like to support your thoughts of leaving but, I do not really know you and your situation. Maybe you could just leave for now to get your unborn child out of that environment. You can always leave the option of getting back together open. Be strong. Tell him you will not tolerate being treated like this. Tell him you love him but you need to leave for the sake of the baby. If he wants to take you out on dates he can but, as soon as he starts to mistreat you the date will be over. I hope you are able to find some help soon. Another ((HUG)) for you.
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  #3  
June 23rd, 2008, 12:26 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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I am so sorry you are going through this. All you can do is what is best for you and the little miracle growing inside you! Big hugs hun!
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  #4  
June 24th, 2008, 05:56 PM
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Melony you sound so upset and frustrated. Now that you have this baby growing inside of you, foucs all your energy on him or her and gather your strength from it. Things often change after a baby comes, especially our perspectives. No one deserves to feel the way you do so make sure you use all your energy in getting everything right for the miracle inside of you!

Sending you plenty of hugs and letting you know you're not alone.
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  #5  
June 25th, 2008, 11:46 AM
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I'm so sorry that he's behaving like that. I understand the need to try to make things work for the baby, but honestly if you're not happy the baby won't be either. This is a time to be selfish and look out for you and your little gift. Do what you need to do.

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  #6  
June 26th, 2008, 05:14 AM
itsmemaggi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I, too, suffer from severe anxiety and recurrent depression. Though my husband is supportive and understanding, for the most part, but before him, I was in a relationship that sounds eerily similar to the one you're thinking of leaving. It was a frightening time for me, and I clung to him out of fear and desperation, and I imagine he did the same thing for the same reasons, but in the end I finally broke it off. It took forever, and I had more heartache and panic attacks and suicidal thoughts than I want to remember. I'm not saying that leaving him is necessarily what's best for you, because maybe your significant other does have the potential and the desire to change, unlike my ex, but not talking to him was the best thing I could have done for my own personal sanity... It's been over a year since I've spoken to him, but I still have issues I'm working through, issues he helped create and/or perpetuate. Your primary responsibility is to yourself (it took me a LONG time to realize that, and I still sometimes forget), and your little baby. You will find so much support on this board, no matter what your struggles. If you'd like to talk more, you can always PM me. I'm on the computer way more than I should be.

xoxo
Maggi
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  #7  
June 27th, 2008, 02:21 PM
herewegoagain's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sorry all I can say is leave now! You do not need his bs in your life, you have an innocent baby inside you that needs you healthy and happy.

Take care hun.
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  #8  
June 28th, 2008, 08:45 AM
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Thanks Ladies. I am just ignoring him. I have to do what I have to do for the sake of my baby. If he decides that he wants to get his sh*t together then fine, but I'm not holding my breath.
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