Log In Sign Up

When should I tell him?


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Unplanned Pregnancy LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
July 8th, 2008, 09:10 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
Posts: 472
I guess I majorly goofed. The OBGYN told me I wasn't going to get pregnant and I might as well get a hysterectomy 2 years ago. I haven't because I totally hate any kind of surgery unless it's absolutely needed.

I told him (E) I couldn't get pregnant but here I am 7 weeks along... E's moved on to date other people and I don't want anything from him but I want my baby to know it's father's name, medical history, etc. I felt so stupid in my medical history report - I don't know anything about my father's history (divorce) or E's.

Should I wait until until 12 weeks to tell him?

How should I tell him?
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #2  
July 8th, 2008, 10:38 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,442
Send a message via AIM to navywifey2003
I would sit down and talk with him and lay everything out on the table. You should tell him soon even though most people dont tell anyone until 12 weeks I think he should know since he is the father. Goodluck and welcome to unplanned pregnancy! We hope you stick around with us!
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #3  
July 9th, 2008, 07:32 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,240
Quote:
I guess I majorly goofed. The OBGYN told me I wasn't going to get pregnant and I might as well get a hysterectomy 2 years ago. I haven't because I totally hate any kind of surgery unless it's absolutely needed.

I told him (E) I couldn't get pregnant but here I am 7 weeks along... E's moved on to date other people and I don't want anything from him but I want my baby to know it's father's name, medical history, etc. I felt so stupid in my medical history report - I don't know anything about my father's history (divorce) or E's.

Should I wait until until 12 weeks to tell him?

How should I tell him?[/b]

I would tell him sooner than later...he has a right to know that he has a baby on the way. Just prepare yourself for all outcomes good to bad. He may feel betrayed and angry etc etc because he was told that medically you could not get pregnant. Althought he still should have used protection because everyone has heard of someone who has had a 'miracle pregnancy' after being told that they could not conceive. Or he may be full on understanding. Don't fret about it. You did not purposely mislead him into believing you were infertile so it is not your fault at all.

What a suprise! But stuff like this happens often enough, unless someone does have a hysterectomy there is always a chance albeit small of conception.

I don't know a thing about my father's medical history either.
__________________
Finally mom to 3 girls....welcome home Samantha Star...born Tues Feb 3rd!


Formally Known as Babies but I lost my old password!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
July 11th, 2008, 02:21 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,442
Send a message via AIM to navywifey2003
Hey hun I wanted to check in a see how you are and if you have told him? Or if you decieded to hold out.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #5  
July 12th, 2008, 12:09 PM
OrangeHope's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,333
Talk to him as soon as possible, better sooner than later. Be prepared he might feel trapped and cheated since you said you can't get pregnant but I'm sure he'll get over it and understand it's just one of those miracles that happen
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #6  
July 15th, 2008, 08:56 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
Posts: 472
I haven't talked to him yet. I'm chicken! I know I need to and I just sent him a text message to call me. He might not but at least I've made the first step. I printed off a medical history thing off the internet so I can ask him about the stuff in my first appointment.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #7  
July 15th, 2008, 09:03 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
Posts: 472
I wasn't sure if he would but he called me back. He says if it's his baby he doesn't want it and the only thing he'll say about his family medical history is he's fine.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #8  
July 15th, 2008, 10:44 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,442
Send a message via AIM to navywifey2003
Im sorry hun. Do you have a strong support system?
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #9  
July 16th, 2008, 06:35 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
Posts: 472
I really don't have a strong support system. I grew up and stayed with controlling, abusive parents. I was able to escape that in 2005 with the help of my bf who turned out to be worse than my parents. Friends aren't something you're "allowed" to have in those situations.

I have worked at my job for over 10 years so I'm pretty close to some of my coworkers.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #10  
July 19th, 2008, 04:46 AM
herewegoagain's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Saskatoon SK
Posts: 2,322
Send a message via MSN to herewegoagain
Well i hope things work out for you. My son's dad when I was preggo with him 11 years ago said the same thing to me. Don't want the baby, not telling you anything. So I hope and pray everyday that there is no family history that can hurt him.
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #11  
July 19th, 2008, 07:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,274
Send a message via MSN to lovely_22
Firstly, congratulations on your miracle baby! How are you feeling about having a baby? Is this your first?

I'm Heather, 33 and pregnant with #3. I had never planned to become pregnant again and was on BCP.

Sometimes men really suck!! I'm so sorry he's an idiot. The sperm donor in my case hasn't talked to me since I was at 8 weeks, when I told him that I was keeping the baby. What you need right now is some support, get it where you can...church (even if you don't go there are pastors who will meet with you), join a "Mommies" group, stick around here with us. Like I said, I'm sorry he's a goof.

__________________
<div align="center"></div>



Reply With Quote
  #12  
July 19th, 2008, 11:40 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
Posts: 472
I'm very happy to be having a baby. I can't think of anything more fabulous to do in life. I'm hoping the doctor's office does an u/s soon though cuz I keep thinking all the testing is mistaken. Silly me! All the test and symptoms should be enough to convince me.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #13  
July 19th, 2008, 11:11 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,442
Send a message via AIM to navywifey2003
It sounds like you are having a very positive outlook on everything! Which is a great! I cant wait to hear about your u/s!
__________________


Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:12 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0