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I have important questions about my conception date.


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
July 9th, 2008, 02:54 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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I'm a little confused about my conception date. For the first time I made a mistake and slept with two different men in one month. One was my ex husband and the other was a new guy that I thought was right for me, but ended up not being so. I had unprotected sex with my ex husband on the 11th. Which I know for darn sure he "came" inside of me. I met the other guy on the 15th. We did NOT have sex on that day, But we had protected sex on the 16th. Unfortunatley I was confused and had sex with my ex husband, which was unprotected, the night of the 16th. Again, I had sex with the other guy on the 18th, which was also protected. I know my dates are very close together, and it was my selfishness and stupidity to actually sleep with two different men so close together. I know that conception dates can't be pinpointed exactly, but I assume if I got pregnant by my ex, and since we had unprotected sex on the 11th, that sperm can live for 72 hours, correct? So, I may of not gotten pregnant on the 11th, but might of gotten pregnant one of those days after? I'm so desperate to find out and I will be extremely hurt if this isn't my ex husbands baby. My ultrasound on April 24th was 7 weeks and 2 days. My due date is December 8th. When I got a positive pregnancy test on the 4th of April, I was 4 weeks and 5 days. My LMP was 03/03/08. When I count back 7 weeks and 2 days from the 24th of April, It lands on the 11th. The only time the other guy and I had unprotected sex was on the 29th of March and my expected period was supposed to come on the 30th of March. I'm very nervous, because my ex husband and I are trying to work things out and he's extremely happy about the baby. I've never been in this situation before, and I'm kicking myself everyday because it seems that I can't figure this one out. I've been told that there is a possibility that women can get pregnant while using a condom if it's not used properly, but I know for sure this condom was used properly. What are the chances of getting pregnant while using a condom? The next day, I didn't think I had any semen inside of me. So I'm almost 100% sure that the other guy used the condom properly. I know for sure that if this isn't my ex husbands baby, we will never be able to work things out. That's just the way he is, and I completely understand. Could someone please help me? I'd greatly appreciate it. Thank you.
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  #2  
July 9th, 2008, 03:40 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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According to this website http://healthlink.mcw.edu/article/923526833.html Conception occured on March 17th which is approx. 2 weeks after your last period. It all depends on how long your cycles are. DH and I got pregnant with Katelynn who is due in Nov. using condoms since we were waiting till my next period to start for me to start BC. Well we used condoms every single time and correctly. Condoms are about 87% effective. Im not sure who could be the father of your child. Im sorry hun. I wish I was more help. But by the sound of things it could be either one of them. Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to unplanned pregnancy. I hope you stick around. And maybe the other ladies can be a little bit more helpful! Welcome and Congrats Again.
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  #3  
July 9th, 2008, 05:06 PM
brittanylee12's Avatar Veteran
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i am kindof in the same boat, and i have no idea who it may be although mine are about a week apart, i feel like such a sl*t, but i guess evertything happends for a reason and you might just have to wait until the baby comes and take a dna test like myself, beleive me one of the men will be more then glad to pay for it. hope all goes well, let us know if you find out anymore. and feel better *hug* i know exactly what your going through although im only 20 years old...
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  #4  
July 9th, 2008, 10:02 PM
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Well thankyou for the advice. There's not much some people can give except for, Go get a DNA test! lol. I talked to the ex boyfriend. (not the exhusband.. Oh how confusing, right?) He told me that he knew for a fact the condom didn't break, he didn't see any leakage, I guess you would call it. Now I know this might come off a little gross, but we're all grown women here.. When him and I actually had sex, I realized that there wasn't ONE time that I had my "Own personal lubrication", I guess you would say. The entire time we had sex, it was dry. So I don't know if that makes any sense or if that makes any difference. I talked to my ex husband today, and he told me that he really, really, really want's to be the father, but he's going to take his precautions because he dosen't want to get hurt. Which is understandable. I just feel like this is his baby. It's almost like a gut instict. As for the other guy, I don't mean to sound rude, but he literally makes me sick. But anyways, thankyou for the advice and if anyone else could give me some advice, all is welcome!
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  #5  
July 9th, 2008, 11:42 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Quote:
Well thankyou for the advice. There's not much some people can give except for, Go get a DNA test! lol. I talked to the ex boyfriend. (not the exhusband.. Oh how confusing, right?) He told me that he knew for a fact the condom didn't break, he didn't see any leakage, I guess you would call it. Now I know this might come off a little gross, but we're all grown women here.. When him and I actually had sex, I realized that there wasn't ONE time that I had my "Own personal lubrication", I guess you would say. The entire time we had sex, it was dry. So I don't know if that makes any sense or if that makes any difference. I talked to my ex husband today, and he told me that he really, really, really want's to be the father, but he's going to take his precautions because he dosen't want to get hurt. Which is understandable. I just feel like this is his baby. It's almost like a gut instict. As for the other guy, I don't mean to sound rude, but he literally makes me sick. But anyways, thankyou for the advice and if anyone else could give me some advice, all is welcome! [/b]
I truly hope that your ex-husband is the father of your baby and you two work things out. But maybe if he isnt things will still work out and he will love the child regardless. I wish you nothing but the best hun.
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  #6  
July 10th, 2008, 10:04 AM
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I truly hope that your ex-husband is the father of your baby and you two work things out. But maybe if he isnt things will still work out and he will love the child regardless. I wish you nothing but the best hun.
[/quote]


Thank you very much. That means alot.
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  #7  
July 10th, 2008, 01:26 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Not a problem hun!
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  #8  
July 10th, 2008, 02:33 PM
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I have never been in your situation but I wanted to offer my two cents!

First off, everything happens for a reason, and whoevers baby it is atleast the Baby has a Father and should be thankful for that in itself. Whether he is a loser or not all kids deserve a Father. Second, if the baby turns out to be your ex-husband than you know you guys really need to work it out for the sake of this little bean coming. Third, obviously the only way to pinpoint who the Father is, is a DNA test. There expensive but well worth it in the end.

I hope things work out for you and this can all be a HUGE lesson learned!
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  #9  
July 11th, 2008, 07:37 AM
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I am sorry you are in this sitch hun. You can get a DNA test in vitro. It is more expensive and does pose some risk of infection I believe.

Sounds like it is probably your ex husband's....but I can understand where both of you are coming from.

All the best to you and your blessing!
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  #10  
July 14th, 2008, 09:15 PM
gtsscott's Avatar Veteran
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just wait till bub is here and go from there - Personally I think it's your ex's, the odds are better!!

DNA test is something that can wait until after birth, it's not too expensive over here about $500 and a bit of saliva really nothing invasive.

Good Luck
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