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Having Serious second thoughts


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
July 22nd, 2008, 08:18 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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So over the past week or so I have been having serious second thoughts abuut everything. I just do not see how this can work out for us. Three kids is a big deal and the mere thought of paying over $1,400 in childcare is just blowing my mind. 5 people can not live off of DH's salary and I don't want to have to live on public assistance either...

I am not even certain how far along, I have a pretty good guess- But I do know that I am having serious reservations about having a 3rd kid right now...

It seems horrible considering some families would like to have a child so bad. I just wish sooooo bad that I were not in this situation.
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  #2  
July 22nd, 2008, 10:07 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Hun I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I can not relate to your situation but just know that we are here to support you in whatever you deciede. Have you thought of adoption? It may be a road worth looking into. I would check out the adoption and birth moms board. I know a women who placed her first child up for adoption and they have a great open adoption. It maybe something worth looking into. I know that you can select the parents and things like that. Keep your head up and you need to make the best decision for your family and your situtation.
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  #3  
July 22nd, 2008, 10:16 AM
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I totally get where you're coming from about adding a 3rd kid. I found out I was pg in may and was so upset at the thought of more kids. My 2 girls were not the best sleepers and are a handful already. Financially we could handle it but emotionally it seemed like way too much. Then I miscarried that pg and was kind of relieved but sad at the same time and it threw everything off making us wonder if we wanted another kid afterall. I went back and forth 1 second thinking absolutely not and then next second "well maybe"
Somehow I ended up getting pg again before I even started my cycle again. This time I'm more accepting of it. It just seems too weird that I would be pg again so soon.
Anyway, I think of it as a catalyst for us to move closer to family so we can have more help and the kids can grow up near their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. There are times I still shake my head in disbelief and get panic attacks but I think ultimately children add so much.
It's perfectly normal to have doubts even when a pg is planned so when it's unexpected it really throws us for a loop.
Good luck.
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  #4  
July 22nd, 2008, 04:19 PM
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I too have 2 girls already and right now it is just a lot of bank and forth within my mind. We are/were going to purchase a home next Spring, finances are a real issue..it is just back and forth.

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  #5  
July 22nd, 2008, 07:21 PM
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I would just try and take it day by day! BIG BIG HUGS HUN!!!
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  #6  
July 23rd, 2008, 12:32 AM
Bella_Luna's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Awww, don't feel horrible or guilty about feeling this way. Sure there are many families out there who would love to have a child but everyone's situation is different. Adding a child to the family is a huge deal and like Lyndsey said you have to do whats best for your family. I agree about looking into the adoption option. I was adopted when I was a baby and I was blessed into a very loving home with two very loving parents. I have never met my biological mother and I don't know what her situation was but I have had a great life because of her and her decision. Of course there are always other options to consider too, each one would be a huge decision. You don't have to decide anything right away, especially if you are still early on in your pregnancy. Maybe take some time and think about each situation, the pros and cons to each option, and sleep on them for awhile. We will be here for you whenever you need someone to talk to!
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  #7  
July 23rd, 2008, 03:48 AM
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Big hugs heading your way Mrs B, it's certainly not a great frame of mind to be in. i was in the same situation too but we have made do. I am a big believer that things happen for a reason. Thinking of you.
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  #8  
July 25th, 2008, 02:07 PM
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Quote:
Big hugs heading your way Mrs B, it's certainly not a great frame of mind to be in. i was in the same situation too but we have made do. I am a big believer that things happen for a reason. Thinking of you.[/b]
Things certainly DO happen for a reason. Hang in there Mrs. B!!!

We are in the same boat financially....We have no idea how we are going to afford the baby AND taking care of a 15 yo (lil bro), but we're going to do the best we can and welcome our little on in February!
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  #9  
July 26th, 2008, 11:34 AM
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Hey hun how are you doing? Has anything changed?
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  #10  
August 5th, 2008, 11:29 AM
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Hey hun how are you doing? Has anything changed?[/b]
Thanks for asking...I am still a lot stressed about being uninsured still but there is nothing I can do about it now. It just seems like everything keeps going wrong.
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  #11  
August 5th, 2008, 12:10 PM
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I was wondering this too. But I couldn't ever live with the fact that I killed my baby or that my child is out there somewhere with an adopted family. And not being able to see them.


This will be our 3rd child. Brian works FT and I work PT when ever I do have work. I am sure that things will be fine. Can you look for another daycare? or in home care?
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  #12  
August 8th, 2008, 08:27 AM
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Hi, Im new to this particular forum, and I was reading your post, a post I relate to. I have 2 small girls, ages 1 and 3, and Im 8 weeks pregnant. Although I knew I eventually wanted a 3rd baby, I didnt think it'd happen this soon, nor did I think I'd feel so unprepared for it. But still, we were happy nonetheless, however as the weeks pass, Im feeling more nervous, scared, worried. I dont see how I could handle a third baby. My girls are horrible sleepers, needy, fussy, and active, and although it could be a lot worse, because they are good girls, they are a handful. Luckily I havent gotten very sick this time around, but on those days that I do feel tired and sick, I just wonder how Im going to do things. If I cant deal with them on a day I feel pooped, how am I going to handle 3 kids. The more I question things and worry, the more I feel that my symptoms are diminishing, and Im wondering if I've wished this baby away =( Im scared to death, but I dont want to be a witch and wish my little angel away. It's an innocent person. What Im trying to say is that Im confused as well. I dont think Im ready for another baby now, and the way I've been feeling lately, Im not sure I ever will be =/, however, I get sad thinking that Id feel negatively towards it. You're not alone. Its definately hard thinking about another person to care for, especially under certain circumstances. Personally, if all goes well with this belly, we're gonna keep it (no abortion or adoption). The hubby is excited about it, which helps a lot, but I still feel so apprehensive and scared
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