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  #1  
December 29th, 2005, 05:42 AM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513
hey everyone i thought it would be a good idea to introduce myself.. well my name is sandra and im pretty sure im pregnant since i havent gotten anything in 3 months and i had 4 positive hpt test but anyways i went for a blood test yesturday.. everyone here seems really nice and helpful wihich is a good thing. this pregnancy was unplanned...im excited now but my boyfriend on the other hand doesnt seem like it..it was bad timing me being in school and him having problems seeing his daughter because of his ex. im hoping that i could maybe become friends with you girls on this board .. i have a feeling that my boyfriend isnt going to be here for me that long because of different reasons when i first told him he said i should look into abortion. i couldnt do it! i wouldnt forgive myself at all..one day we were talking about his ex and how she thinks there kid is only hers well i said she didnt make the daughter by herself...then out of the blue he pointed to my stomach and said your gonna be alone.. messed up or what? those words keep going through my head all the time but i really dont confront him about it.we have been going out for 3 years and its still hard for me to talk about things face to face and when i mention it online he tells me to ask him in person which i cant seem to do!..well i wont take up anymore of your time..thanks for reading
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  #2  
December 29th, 2005, 06:05 AM
nat81
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Hello and welcome! I would say you're definitly pregnant... Anyway, I hope things start to get better with you and your bf. You really need to try and be more open with him if you really want things to work out. I'm a true believer in keeping everything out in the open... no secrets!

We're all here for you no matter what though and I'm glad you found us
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  #3  
December 29th, 2005, 06:26 AM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513
Quote:
Hello and welcome! I would say you're definitly pregnant... Anyway, I hope things start to get better with you and your bf. You really need to try and be more open with him if you really want things to work out. I'm a true believer in keeping everything out in the open... no secrets!

We're all here for you no matter what though and I'm glad you found us[/b]


hey thanks for replying to me ...i try to tell him things but its not easy since it seems like he gets mad really easy.. your baby is soooo cute!!!
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  #5  
December 30th, 2005, 11:27 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 141
Hey, Well Congrats on your pregnancy! I would say after all those tests and no period for that long, girl, you're definately having a baby!
Well, men are totalling different creatures than us women. I'd be pissed if I were you! Then again, you and I are totally different when it comes to confronting our men. I'm definately the type to confront. (sometimes I feel bad for my guy because of it, but shhh...don't tell him! B) ) I say if he's going to be like that and make you go through this alone, his loss. Not only will he be losing a great girl who's wanting to involve him in the baby's life (unlike the ex), but he'll be missing out on so many awesome experiences that happen during pregnancy and of course after the baby comes! Too bad for him! Sonner or later he'll realize that and kick himself for it!
But then again, why do you think he's still with you even though you've decided to keep the baby? You didn't mention him leaving you yet, so what do you think he's waiting for? If he hasn't left yet, there's a good chance he just might stick around...Actions speak louder than words! Sounds like he might be all talk. Here's what I think might be happening: The ex isn't letting him be involved, and from the sounds of it, he wants to be there for his kiddo. He's sh*t scared that if he lets himself get close to this little one on the way, you'll pull the same thing the ex did and boom! He's hurting all over again. I can be way off here, but just going by what you're telling us, it's possible. Now of course, if you love him and respect him you would never do that to him (or better yet, to your baby because everyone deserves two loving parents), but he doesn't know that for sure, because it's happened to him before. What you should do in my opinion, is rather than trying to talk about him not being there for you, or about why he doesn't want this baby, leave it for a few months and play it by ear. When you do talk to him, talk about the happy little things that are happening to your body, and what stage the baby's at right now...Ex: "OMG hunny, I felt the baby kick today! I'm soooo pumped! If it does it again when you're around, do you want to see if maybe you can feel it too if you put your hand on my tummy??" If he doesn't want to, so what! The next time the baby kicks again ask him the same thing! When you're around him, act like as if he's already decided to stick around and be there for you. It might help change his attitude. If you act like you have absolute faith in him and already start treating him like #1 dad, he just might start acting like it! Not only does this solve the problem of you not wanting to confront him about it, but it'll make you feel sooooo much better! Another thing you should do, is make him feel NEEDED! His ex is treating him like a useless person, acting like she doesn't need him. If you make him feel needed, he might start taking on the attitude of the knight and shining armor! And you're the damsel in distress. Most men can't resist a woman in need.
You'll probably get some negativity from him at first, he'll probably try resisting it. Let him...of course within reason. If after a few months (like about 2-3) he still hasn't come around, then you need to have the confrontation, for sure! No backing down from it! And most importantly, if his negativity is so bad that it's becoming destructive, you need to get the heck out of there! Don't let him totally ruin things for you. You deserve better than that. But if it comes down to that, still let him know that the door to being involved the baby's life is wide open. Leave it up to him to decide if he wants to close it.
K, so I've pretty much written you a novel here. Sorry this is so long. I hope this helps! And as you've said, it would be nice to make some friends here, people who are going though the same hormone and life changes as you...Since my pregnancy, (I'm now over 17 weeks and just started showing!!!) I've been dying to make some pregnant friends! any time, you can email me btaillefer101@hotmail.com take care and be strong!
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