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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #41  
January 11th, 2006, 04:02 PM
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Hey you! Me yet again!
I'm sooo happy you weren't offended by what I said. Guys can be really mean and heartless when they do things, though most of them don't even realize what they're doing to us and what they're putting us through! In the case of your man, well, if he wanted to keep his options open for when he went to whistler (was he skiing or snowboarding out there??) you just have to know that at least he'd rather not commit to you just in case something happens rather than commit and end up doing something soooo incredibly stupid out there that would end up hurting you even more. Like, I was seeing this guy once a long time ago...I was totally gaga over him. We went out a few times and got along soooo well! In fact I said it was like as if he was my soul mate because we had so much in common and made such a great pair together. But alas, we were only seeing eachother casually (because he didn't want commitment since he and his ex, also the mama of his beautiful baby girl broke up on pretty bad terms as she cheated on him with his best friend) and he ended up going down to Thompson one weekend and slept with some random girl out there...What was worse is that I has simply asked him if he was with anyone else out there mostly as a joke, but he ended up actually fessing up to it! I was crushed as you can imagine. Anyways after that I pulled myself away from him and we ended up losing contact. I moved on and started dating this other guy and was with him 3 1/2 years and the very next day after we broke up, I went out to the bar (you know to get drunk and let lose after all that time being miserable...lol) and sure as s***, guess who I ran into after over 4 years!!! Yup that guy! This was about a year ago, and now we're really close friends!
Ok so all this to say, that even if things don't work out between the two of you in the way you want it to right now, you may just find that later, down the road, you may end up having a better relationship than you could have ever asked for by just being great friends and staying in one another's lives (which won't be so hard since you're having beaner together!).
Keep me posted on what happens with that!
And thanks about what you said about the belly! I was actually kinda self concious about putting the belly shot there because I find it looks egged-shaped and if you look really closely or enlarge the pic, you can see this big blue vein on the side of the belly!! hehehe...Oh well! It's better than the big bulging vein that doesn't go away right between my boobies! How attractive is that! I swear I can almost see it pulsating! I can't wait to see pics of your belly when it starts to ponch out!

Take care! and as always feel free to email anytime!
Brig
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  #42  
January 11th, 2006, 07:27 PM
bcmomma's Avatar Veteran
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Thanks Brigitte, and yes, it's better that he didn't make a commitment to me and then have something happen while he was away I've actually already had a boyfriend cheat on me in Whistler...on New Year's, lol. Don't need to make it two! So hard for me to think of being "just friends" with him, since obviously I want more, but I'll take what I can get. Not sure if he's snowboarding or skiing actually I haven't seen him online lately, but he HAS been online because his name has changed a couple times, so as far as I know he's still up there.

I found out that my ultrasound will be this saturday morning! So only a couple more days of waiting. I don't know if 'daddy' will be back by then, but I don't know if I would want him at this u/s anyways...???

I was super dizzy all day today and have a headache! I slept in because I felt way too tired to get up on time, but when I managed to get out of bed, so DIZZY. Weird. Sometimes I wish I drove, it would make a lot of things so much easier!

Okay, I'm going to go feed myself And I can understand your shyness, but seriously, your belly is adorable!
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  #43  
January 11th, 2006, 07:29 PM
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OOps, it posted twice
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  #44  
January 11th, 2006, 08:12 PM
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Okay, so things are coming together, I guess. "Daddy" just signed on and we chatted for a while, he was being nice. I asked if he had taken pictures and he said he didn't have a camera...I joked and said "ah well, no evidence then", and he said he was actually good this time, for once. LOL. He's actually back TOMORROW! I asked if he could call me before the weekend, and he said that his friday night is probably free. So I'll see if I can get him over here for 'the talk'...oy.
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  #45  
January 11th, 2006, 10:10 PM
JuneBug2006's Avatar Forever missing Gracie
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Good luck and hope everything works out great for you!

My suggestion though is to not invite him to the ultrasound... If you plan to tell him this week, he is defintaely going to need some time to absorb it all and an ultrasound visit might not be the best thing!
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  #46  
January 14th, 2006, 12:50 PM
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The ultrasound showed an empty uterus, so I guess the bleeding WAS a miscarriage. It's how it was meant to be.
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  #47  
January 14th, 2006, 07:01 PM
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Hi bcmomma, I've been following your story here....I'm really sorry to hear that it ended up in a m/c. I hope your doing okay and maybe your right, it's meant to be, now is not the time or even guy as well...it'll be okay!!
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  #48  
January 14th, 2006, 08:16 PM
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I just wish I didn't like the guy so much...I'm so confused
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  #49  
January 14th, 2006, 09:24 PM
Girl_in_Alberta's Avatar Veteran
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Have you talked to this guy yet regarding your m/c? Is he still wanting to have a relationship with you? By all means have a talk with this guy and it will probably, hopefully lessen your confusing situation. If you don't, then you'll have this on your mind 24/7. Try and get if off your chest and then you guys can take a step forward in your lives....hope this helps.
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  #50  
January 16th, 2006, 11:00 AM
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Sorry I haven't replied sooner, I went over to the pregnancy loss forum. And it's just tough explaining it all

GIRL IN ALBERTA, I told him I was pregnant the day before my u/s and he said he wanted to take me, even though his beliefs were that I should abort. He had less than 24hrs for it to sink in, and before it probably even did sink in, we found out I'd miscarried. I don't see it being a huge issue for him, and it seems like he's going to act as though nothing's changed. He didn't want a serious relationship in the first place...he's being stubborn about not letting people into his life because his life is tough. On the one hand I'm angry because he's not being supportive or comforting, but on the other hand, I don't want to walk away from him because I need for him to see that someone CAN care about him and stand by his side without taking on his $hit or pitying him. SO yah, I'm probably putting my feelings last, but I don't really know any other way.

Let me tell you, there's really no hiding from it, for me. I went to the gym this morning and on two of the tv screens was the Learning Channel's "A Baby Story". Babies are everywhere and it's just difficult. I'm up and down. Can't sleep. Just trying to keep myself busy. But really, I'd rather just be lying in bed all day under the covers.

Whereabouts in Alberta are you??
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  #51  
January 16th, 2006, 08:39 PM
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Hi bcmomma, I'm really sorry that this has been tough on you. Having reminders all over the place sure doesn't help. I hope for your sake that this guys opens his eyes and realize how much this is affecting you. That really sucks when you don't have that support, especially from him. Though it's great that you can see how tough life is for him and that you can stick around for him. Just hope it's not always one sided.

Just keep yourself busy and take it day by day, cuz nobody expects you to get over a loss like that so soon.

I'm from Medicine Hat which is about 2 1/2 hours from calgary (south east). Where are you from?? I love BC!!! Such a pretty province.
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  #52  
January 16th, 2006, 08:51 PM
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I'm from Victoria, but I lived near Edmonton for 10yrs
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  #53  
January 16th, 2006, 08:58 PM
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Oh cool, DH and I are thinking of moving to Fort Sask. I love Edmonton (did a one month practicum up there) but it's getting pretty bad with all the murders going on up there and gang activity, but I guess it can be like that in any big city. I've never been to Victoria, but I have been to Vancouver and White Rock (which was the first time I seen the ocean, soooooo pretty).
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