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  #1  
January 14th, 2006, 09:19 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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I feel bad coming to this site but i need help/advice. Me (25) and my girlfriend (24) found out about her being pregnant about a month ago. We have been together for 5 1/2 months now. We talked about all this stuff down the road and we have/had a great relationship. We just recently visited the obgyn and all was well. I am happy about the pregnancy and trying to be supportive in any way possible....but my girlfriend has asked me for space and time to think about all of these changes and left me. I am confused? I understand a unplanned pregnancy and alot of the changes but I am having a hard time with her feelings and decision to be alone right now. Any help or words of wisdom would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
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  #2  
January 14th, 2006, 10:00 AM
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Posts: 141
Hey Networks,
Wow...Your situation is definately a tough one. Because I don't know either one of you, it's super difficult to give you advice here.
All I know, is that when a woman becomes pregnant, she's not likely to act like herself all that much. There's definately a hormonal thing happening that even she doesn't understand. It could very well be that, since this pregnancy was unexpected and the fact that you're being so supportive, she may feel like she needs to be alone to fully be able to sort out how SHE feels about it. She may be having doubts, or wondering if she can really do this, and (I'm sorry to say) maybe even worrying that if she has this baby, she will forever be tied to you in some way, shape or form and that could be scaring her silly! She may just want to have some time to evaluate her life and see if this is REALLY what she wants to do and if she's REALLY prepared for all this.
There are probably so many things running through her head right now that she may just feel like being around you will just interfere in sorting through her feelings properly. It does surprise me though, as someone who was in an extremely similar situation as you two (I'm 23, the dad's 24 and we were only dating 5 months when we found out we were pregnant) that she would leave when you're being so supportive. But as I said, pregnant women have a different way of thinking then non-pregnant women and so it's very hard to analyze. Who is she staying with? Are you comfortable enough to talk to someone who's close to her, like her best friend or her family? If so, you may want to sit down and talk to someone who's knows her well and they may be able to shed some light on this for you.
I wish you the best of luck in all this. Maybe let her know about this site. It's a GREAT place for people who are going through an unplanned pregnancy to talk, vent, get advice and whatnot. I have met some awesome people here, and they've been a great support system for me when I need to talk. She may benefit from talking to other people who are going through the same thing.
Take care!
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  #3  
January 14th, 2006, 03:03 PM
oLawdImaMomma's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 287
finding out you are pregnant unplanned is hard enough as it is but then u have screwed up hormones on top of that. just listen to her and respect her wishes and let her know u are there for her when she needs you. im sure she'll come around after some of the shock is gone.

suzi
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  #4  
January 14th, 2006, 05:37 PM
lordsdaughtr's Avatar Regular
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Ok, well from my point of view..since I dont know either of you or the details of your situation. I can only make an assumption of why she is acting this way. From personal experience when I got pregnant I broke up with my boyfriend and I also wanted space from him and everyone. My mother instincts just kicked in and I wanted to be safe from every little thing, every person that could harm my baby and I mean EVERY mild silly little thing. I think its just her hormones kicking in and the fact that she is pregnant is still coming to reality. The best thing you can do is just give her the space she needs and just let her know that your there for her. Even though it will be hard for you. Just be patient and understanding of her hormonal changes. She will probably come around and will come to you when she is ready. Just make sure you are there when she does.
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  #5  
January 15th, 2006, 09:12 PM
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Natasha,
Your belly is soooo cute!
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  #6  
January 15th, 2006, 10:45 PM
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Networks, this situation is a lot like mine. My boyfriend and I had been together for about five months when I found out I was pregnant. I am 25 and my family was/is not at all excited for me. Although he made it very clear that he is happy and excited about the situation, I just wanted to be alone. It was so hard for me to adjust...I am a planner, this was not in my plan for a while. There were so many things I was feeling and so many emotions I was trying to sort through, I had absolutely no idea where to start with any of it. My gut reaction is that if she asking for space she is probably trying to sort things out. Thank God my boyfriend loves me enough to have been patient to wait it out. It took about three weeks till I finally figured out where to begin with everything and to find a way to communicate that all to him without him getting hurt. He did become extremely frustrated with me...which when I look at it, helped me to start talking...as I saw how much I was hurting him. Relationships are not easy, all good relationships take time and lots of effort from both people. When you combine a new relationship with an unexpected baby, things tend to get a little more intense, for both people involved. Just remember, always be honest with her when you tell her how you are feeling. For I would just give her some space and some time, she's probably confused and maybe even scared. Everything happens for a reason. Please let me know if you need any other advice or does anything else that throws you for a loop! I am willing to help.
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  #7  
January 16th, 2006, 05:01 AM
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Quote:
Networks, this situation is a lot like mine. My boyfriend and I had been together for about five months when I found out I was pregnant. I am 25 and my family was/is not at all excited for me. Although he made it very clear that he is happy and excited about the situation, I just wanted to be alone. It was so hard for me to adjust...I am a planner, this was not in my plan for a while. There were so many things I was feeling and so many emotions I was trying to sort through, I had absolutely no idea where to start with any of it. My gut reaction is that if she asking for space she is probably trying to sort things out. Thank God my boyfriend loves me enough to have been patient to wait it out. It took about three weeks till I finally figured out where to begin with everything and to find a way to communicate that all to him without him getting hurt. He did become extremely frustrated with me...which when I look at it, helped me to start talking...as I saw how much I was hurting him. Relationships are not easy, all good relationships take time and lots of effort from both people. When you combine a new relationship with an unexpected baby, things tend to get a little more intense, for both people involved. Just remember, always be honest with her when you tell her how you are feeling. For I would just give her some space and some time, she's probably confused and maybe even scared. Everything happens for a reason. Please let me know if you need any other advice or does anything else that throws you for a loop! I am willing to help.[/b]
Thank you very much for the reply and advice...it is so appreciated. It is hard but I do know what I have to do; just like you said to give her the space and time she needs right now. I have so much love and respect for her that I have to do that and continue to be positive and believe that everything will work out. Not purposely but i feel that part of me was selfish and didn't take into account all of her feelings and thoughts about these changes in her and her life. I do realize that now after talking to many people over the weekend and hearing all you had to say. But I do truly believe in her and our relationship and that we will be just fine. Thank you once again and it is so nice to know that there are people that care and willing to help others in troubled times.
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  #8  
January 16th, 2006, 05:11 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 3
Quote:
Ok, well from my point of view..since I dont know either of you or the details of your situation. I can only make an assumption of why she is acting this way. From personal experience when I got pregnant I broke up with my boyfriend and I also wanted space from him and everyone. My mother instincts just kicked in and I wanted to be safe from every little thing, every person that could harm my baby and I mean EVERY mild silly little thing. I think its just her hormones kicking in and the fact that she is pregnant is still coming to reality. The best thing you can do is just give her the space she needs and just let her know that your there for her. Even though it will be hard for you. Just be patient and understanding of her hormonal changes. She will probably come around and will come to you when she is ready. Just make sure you are there when she does.[/b]
Thank you! It's hard to be away from her as it is but even more at this time. But I have enough respect for her and love her more than she knows (maybe she does) but if that is her wishes i have to be understanding to that and will be and be patient and supportive as I can be. But I believe in all my heart in her, our relationship and the fact god has blessed us with this opportunity and such a special gift. But thank you again for the advice and help, it is more appreciated than you know.
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