Log In Sign Up

Unexpected


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Unplanned Pregnancy LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
January 15th, 2006, 04:52 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 17
I (29yrs. old) really need some advice. After being in a relationship for 5yrs. I
don't think that my boyfriend (27yrs. old) wants to have a baby. I just found out
about the pregnancy two weeks ago. Sadly, I found out about his
infidelity only a week before that. So much is happening all at once.
I am scared. It is like he is constantly changing his mind. I try to talk
to him and he says lets talk tomorrow or the next day. We live together
and I feel like I live alone. I don't really have that much support in the
city that we live in. My family and friends lives a 2hr. plane ride away.

I am a good person who wants to have a good relationship that will
make the pregnancy and parenting a bit better. But maybe hes not the one.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #2  
January 15th, 2006, 09:07 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 141
Congratulations on your pregnancy! And I am so sorry to hear about the infidelity. I can only imagine what you're going through right now. I've have b/f's cheat on me before but I've never had to deal with that while pregnant.

I'm sorry to say this, but I would not get back with him, pregnant or not, five years or not...At least not right now. Sounds like he doesn't have a clue what he wants in life, so it may be best to just let him figure out his stuff on his own. I'm not sure that trying to work on things when he's so lost is the best thing for any of you right now...that includes this baby. Trust me, the very last thing you need right now is more stress. I think you both need some time apart. It may in the end bring you closer together. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it'll be easy. It won't be. But you need to stand up for yourself. Please don't let the fact that all your close friends and family are far away stop you from taking yourself out of a bad situation. You can make it! And remember, the break doesn't have to be forever. However long it takes for either him to figure out his stuff (realize he's been a jerk and he needs to treat you like a queen!), or for you to move on without him, I think it's worth it. YOU'RE worth it.
Think to yourself "Is this the kind of relationship I want?". If the answer is no, then don't stay. If things between the two of your work out, it's because it was meant to be. But I wouldn't continue to force things right now. Time is key. Sounds like you both need some time to think seriously about what you want.

My best advice is to just be apart right now. You said you want to be in a good relationship that will make this pregnancy and parenting easier...That won't happen with him until he takes the time to really think things through. By sticking around while he's being like this is only going to make this pregnancy harder on you and the baby. Maybe what you two can do is talk to someone together, of course, if he's willing.

I don't know what more to say, other than I wish you the best of luck in all of this. If you ever need to talk, this is a really good place to do it. The people here a wonderful and can offer a lot of support. Take care of you, and please keep us updated on how it goes.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #3  
January 16th, 2006, 06:50 AM
nat81
Guest
Posts: n/a
(((HUGS))) I'm glad you found us! You'll definitly find advice and support here! It seems like you have a good head on your shoulders and that you'll make the right decisions for you.

My family lives 4 hours away (by car) and yes, it was and has been difficult not having them around as much as I would like but there are mother/baby groups that you could find in your area. You could meet some first time mommies and perhaps bond with some of them!

Good luck to you hun and keep us posted! You'll be just fine... there will be a lot of bumps along the way but you'll see it will be well worth it in the end (((HUGS)))
Reply With Quote
  #5  
January 21st, 2006, 05:09 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 17
Thank you for taking the time to respond. That makes soo much sense.
I think that space will be the best thing right now.

Quote:
Congratulations on your pregnancy! And I am so sorry to hear about the infidelity. I can only imagine what you're going through right now. I've have b/f's cheat on me before but I've never had to deal with that while pregnant.

I'm sorry to say this, but I would not get back with him, pregnant or not, five years or not...At least not right now. Sounds like he doesn't have a clue what he wants in life, so it may be best to just let him figure out his stuff on his own. I'm not sure that trying to work on things when he's so lost is the best thing for any of you right now...that includes this baby. Trust me, the very last thing you need right now is more stress. I think you both need some time apart. It may in the end bring you closer together. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it'll be easy. It won't be. But you need to stand up for yourself. Please don't let the fact that all your close friends and family are far away stop you from taking yourself out of a bad situation. You can make it! And remember, the break doesn't have to be forever. However long it takes for either him to figure out his stuff (realize he's been a jerk and he needs to treat you like a queen!), or for you to move on without him, I think it's worth it. YOU'RE worth it.
Think to yourself "Is this the kind of relationship I want?". If the answer is no, then don't stay. If things between the two of your work out, it's because it was meant to be. But I wouldn't continue to force things right now. Time is key. Sounds like you both need some time to think seriously about what you want.

My best advice is to just be apart right now. You said you want to be in a good relationship that will make this pregnancy and parenting easier...That won't happen with him until he takes the time to really think things through. By sticking around while he's being like this is only going to make this pregnancy harder on you and the baby. Maybe what you two can do is talk to someone together, of course, if he's willing.

I don't know what more to say, other than I wish you the best of luck in all of this. If you ever need to talk, this is a really good place to do it. The people here a wonderful and can offer a lot of support. Take care of you, and please keep us updated on how it goes.[/b]
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:53 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0