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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
January 15th, 2006, 11:59 PM
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Has anyone else here been shut out by their family because you have decided to keep the unplanned baby My entire father's side of the family is making me feel like at 25 I should be asking permission to have a baby. And for some reason I am letting them made me feel like sh**. I dont know what to do. All I know is that I am extremely excited for my baby. Is anyone else going through this? What have you done? I have completely lost my father and most of family because of this. I am about to loose my mind!
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  #2  
January 16th, 2006, 07:56 AM
nat81
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I was when I found out I was pregnant. I was really worried about telling my dad 'cause he has always put so much foccus on having a career before starting a family and I had just finished University. Anyway, I called him up, told him I had some news and just flat out told him. It actually took it a lot better than I thought so I was lucky.

I'm sorry you're having trouble with your father. Maybe all he needs is time to get over the shock. My MIL was very mad at my fiance when he told her but after only a few days she started getting excited about having a grand baby.

Good luck, I hope things work out for you!
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  #4  
January 16th, 2006, 10:12 AM
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Natalie and HardWorkinMomma,
Thank you for your help. At this point anything seems to help. I really like the boards here at JM. Thanks for your words. I look forward to corresponding with you both!
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  #6  
January 16th, 2006, 11:50 AM
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My fiance and I both like the name Justin for a boy, but for a girl, we're stuck!!! The only name for a girl I really like is Elise, but his 1st daughter's name is Alicia, so thats out. Uhg! God, it hit me the other day that we are responsible for naming another human being, maybe its the hormones, but thats soooo much pressure. I mean theres a lot in a name! I am starting to feel overwhelmed about it. What about you?
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  #8  
January 16th, 2006, 03:16 PM
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up when i was pg with my first i was only 18 but i for sure did not need anyone telling me it was ok/what to do but they did. i of coruse keep him i don't belive in abortions, and every pg i have been through the one at 19, and the one at 21 it's my grandfather i got to worrie about. and here i am at 23 going on 24 in march and they are (df parents) are so hopping i do need this c-section for i can get fixed wht.
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  #10  
January 16th, 2006, 06:10 PM
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Hey,
Well, I can definately relate when it comes to family members not approving of my pregnancy. I've been having issues with my MIL. I won't get into all the details because we'd be here all day, , but to sum it up, she won't even acknowledge the pregnancy around me, and refuses to even make an effort to talk about it with me. After emails, visits, phone calls and all that, nothing's helped her just get over the "out of sight out of mind" attitude, and show a little bit of support. I let it bother me so much that I litterally cried for 4 days. It's caused so many fights between my b/f and I. To tell you the truth honey, it's just not worth it! I've now just given up on trying to make her come around. She'll acknowledge this pregnancy when she's good and ready, but until then, I'm in no way obligated to acknowledge her. I'm a two for one deal, and if she doesn't like it, tough sh*t for her! Then she doesn't get a relationship with me, and that's that! And I feel a heck of a lot better just not caring anymore!
Now I know your situation is different. This is your dad we're talking about. This can't be easy for you. If he won't be there for, there's absolutely nothing you can say or do to change his attitude. I'm sorry to say honey. Unfortunately that's something he has to do on his own. This is your life and your baby. This has nothing to do with your dad or his side of the family. You're old enough to make your own decisions and if you're excited about this baby, don't let anyone, not even your dad, ruin that for you. Like nat81 said, he may just need time to let this all sink in and get over this negative attitude about it. It may even take until the baby's born...he may just need to look into those beautiful little eyes to realize "hey! That's MY grandbaby!!" and get excited!
Please don't let someone's bad attitude get the best of this pregnancy. You have nothing to feel bad about! From the sounds of it, you'll be a great mommy and your fiance will be a great daddy. Who cares what other people think! CONGRATS ON YOUR LITTLE BEANER! HOW EXICTING FOR YOU!!!! Make sure you keep us posted! and if you ever need to talk, about anything under the sun, you can always email me at btaillefer101@hotmail.com.

Take care!
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  #11  
January 16th, 2006, 07:20 PM
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Quote:
Has anyone else here been shut out by their family because you have decided to keep the unplanned baby My entire father's side of the family is making me feel like at 25 I should be asking permission to have a baby. And for some reason I am letting them made me feel like sh**. I dont know what to do. All I know is that I am extremely excited for my baby. Is anyone else going through this? What have you done? I have completely lost my father and most of family because of this. I am about to loose my mind![/b]
[font=Arial Black][color=#CC66CC]
I was in the same situation... still kinda feel like I'm there! I'm 21 and I moved back in with my parents after I got divorced about a year ago. I was always the perfect child. Good grades, college, never did drugs, or anything else. Then, I got pregnant. If that's not hard enough to deal with, try this. My dad is a minister! At first I felt like I had let my family down and I didn't deserve their support. I always knew pregnancy was a possibility and I knew that I would keep my baby. My parents offered their support and want me to stay with them, but sometimes they rub it in that I screwed up. I don't know if you're living with your family, but your baby is your new family. Like when you get married, you're supposed to stand beside your husband because he's your family now and you're supposed to support each other. Well, a spouse doesn't depend on your support like a child does. You're 25years old so I'm sure you have a job and are capable of raising a child with or without your families' support. Of course it's easier with, but not impossible without. Goodluck with everything and if your family continues to shut you out, forget them. You don't owe them anything... it's their choice to shut you out. The love your child will give you will make you forget any bad words that have been said by them! Kelli
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  #12  
January 16th, 2006, 07:44 PM
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Brigitte, Sweet Pea, and MommaKelli - Thank you ladies for all your advice and kindness. It means a lot to know you are all there willing to listen and offer support. So with that said, I am going to put the situation on the back burner and enjoy my pregnancy. After all, I did start to feel the baby move over the weekend and I want to continue to be excited about that! Brigitte, I love how honest you are with your posts, shows you truly care.


HardWorkinMomma - I'm not going to stress over the name thing....too much, I just do not want my child to be ridiculed b/c of our lack of taste!
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