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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:03 PM
glittery03
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hi, i had an abortion in november. i regret it every day. i wish i had never done it and hate myself more as time goes on.

i really want a baby. i see babies when im in the street and feel such yearning and grief.

the worst thing is i chose to do it.

i just saw a website that someone on here posted - www.mttu.com/abort-pics

and im sat here cryin.

i wish i could turn back time i really do.
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  #2  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:09 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I`m so sorry you are going through this.
How old are you?
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  #3  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:13 PM
glittery03
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im 19.

its my own fault, i did this. i killed my baby.

i really want to get pregnant again but i know i dont deserve the chance to be a mum now
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  #4  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:19 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do you have family & friends you can lean on a bit? You can`t take back things already done. But, talking about it will help. Have you thought about seeking a counselor?
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  #5  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:22 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((HUGS))). I'm sorry you are going through this. There is nothing you can do to change the past even if you regret it and it hurts. You just have to learn from it and move foward. Have you tried to find a local support group? Or talked to a counceller (sp?)?
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  #6  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:26 PM
glittery03
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i never told my family, i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. he came with me to the hospital and was there for me.

i dont want to talk to him about it as, i dunno i just feel like i should have got over it by now.

i have not spoken to a counsellor no i dont no if i would feel comfortable

like u say there is nothin i can do now.
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  #7  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:29 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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How long ago did it happen if you dont mind me asking?
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  #8  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:31 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oops nevermind. I'm blind and missed it in your first post.

Maybe you would like to share your story with us to get it off your chest. We are not here to judge.

If you would like to share what your reaction was when you found out you were pregnant. Why you made your decision. How you felt during and after.
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  #9  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:32 PM
glittery03
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it was on november 10th 2004 - see i should have got over it by now

i should be almost 5 months pregnant now
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  #10  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:39 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by glittery03@Feb 3 2005, 07:32 PM
it was on november 10th 2004 - see i should have got over it by now

i should be almost 5 months pregnant now
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Talking about everything will help the pain ease some. I am a firm believer that time heals things too. I think you should seek out a counselor.
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  #11  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:43 PM
glittery03
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i found out that i was pregnant and didnt really have any feelings because it didnt seem real. it was just a blue line on a stick, i told my bf and he was happy but practical.

he wanted the baby but as we are both at university (my bf is 24) knew that it would be difficult and one if not both of us would have to give up uni.

we talked about it and despite us both wantin to have a baby together decided that an abortion would be for the best.

even during the first month, when i had morning sickness etc it still didnt feel like it what has happenin to me.

i went to the doctors and was booked into hospital for the termination.

i was given a scan - which i didnt see - and was given an appointment for a few days later.

it was awful, at some point on the day of the abortion it hit me what i was goin to do. i just kept askin myself what i was doin. but then i remembered it was "for the best"

anyways obviously i went through with it even though right up until the last minute before they put me to sleep i was regrettin bein there

i wish i had just stopped them.

i watch tv and at the moment (this is gonna sound stupid) there are storylines in the soaps about abortions etc and i find myself cryin all the time.

i cant walk down the street without seein babies...its like i am being punished and they are everywhere

i cant express in words how much i regret it.

i just want to be pregnant so bad. i think my bf would be disappointed in me if he knew this.

i asked him recently if he ever thought about what it would be like if we had kept the baby and he said everyday but i dont know if he was just sayin this or whether he meant it.
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  #12  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:51 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was in a similar situation when I got pregnant. Both my husband (he was my bf at the time) and I were in school. We sat around for almost a week deciding what we were gonna do. One day we were gonna keep him, the other we were going in for an abortion. It was a tough decision. It can be very hard when you brain tells you one thing and your heart tells you another. I think you should try to talk to your bf about this. He shouldnt get mad at you or think you are stupid. They are your feelings. You have no control over your feelings. Just because he may not feel the same way doesnt make your feelings invalid and his feelings the "right" feelings.

Do you keep a journal? I know when I'm going through a tough time I try to right it in a journal. It helps my brain sort things out.
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  #13  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:54 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I will be honest with you I am one of those Moms that does not agree with abortion. I had my daughter when I was just 16 yrs. old. She is now 25 yrs. old.
But, I want you to know my heart goes out to you! {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
I understand that you know you made a mistake. Your life will go on. I will keep you in my Prayers!
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  #14  
February 3rd, 2005, 04:59 PM
glittery03
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no i dont keep a journal. i used to but kind of last track with it.

i know that eventually ile get over it, i wont forget or forgive myself but i will learn to deal with it.

i no that i should talk to my bf but i dont no what to say or how to approach the subject, i dont no whether to tell him i want a baby.

i dont no what to do
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  #15  
February 3rd, 2005, 05:03 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Just thought I would share this with you........My daughters good friend, Coleen had an abortion about 4 years ago. My daughter tried to talk her out of getting the abortion. Coleen went through with it. She regrets it....But, she says as time goes on she is doing better. The pain has lifted alot!
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  #16  
February 3rd, 2005, 05:06 PM
glittery03
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yeah i no it will get better eventually, its just hard

i tend to think more about it when ime alone. when theres noone else around i cant think about anythin else no matter how hard i try
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  #17  
February 3rd, 2005, 05:11 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by glittery03@Feb 3 2005, 08:06 PM
yeah i no it will get better eventually, its just hard

i tend to think more about it when ime alone. when theres noone else around i cant think about anythin else no matter how hard i try
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[/quote]


I feel so sorry for you! I have 3 older kids.....25,21 & 15. I know if my daughter went through this I would want to give her a big hug! Can you go to your Mom?
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  #18  
February 3rd, 2005, 05:13 PM
glittery03
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no i never told my mum about it, i couldnt tell her
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  #19  
February 3rd, 2005, 05:17 PM
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I don't think you should be over it by now or if you will ever get over it. That must have been a very hard choice for you, maybe if you get your feelings out. Talk to someone or write your baby a letter explaining why you did it and maybe in time you will forgive yourself, But I got to say I don't think you will ever be over it. I had my first daughter at 19, and she is and my other daughter is the love of my life . I also have heard of people naming these babies weather it be a misscarriage or abortion. That way when you are alone you can talk to this baby as a person with a name. I know thats what I would do. I had a cousin have a abortion 8 years ago and she still thinks of the baby and what might have been, she knows that the man she was preg. by was a loser and did not to have his kid, but theres that part where she miss her baby. She is older now and has went on to have two other babies and now on her 3rd. Well I think the bottom line is it will get eaiser but you won't forget. I wish you the best
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The day you deliver, outside will be foggy. Your baby will arrive in the evening.

After a labor lasting approximately 4 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 8 pounds, 11 ounces, and will be 19-1/2 inches long. This child will have light blue eyes and some very fine hair.
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  #20  
February 3rd, 2005, 05:26 PM
glittery03
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thanks, i no i will never forget or get over it but i just cant seem to not think about it if u no what i mean,

i keep lookin at baby stuff and thinkin bout what might have been
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