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sorry guys, I gotta vent...


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
January 29th, 2006, 05:51 AM
rachel_claire's Avatar Veteran
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OK, I've been awake for the past 27 1/2 hours, I think I had a panic attack last night, but I really need to vent....
hubby brought fried shrimp home last night and it was great, no problems, I was happy and full and content. then he just left the plates all over the living room floor!!!! next to the couch so they were out of the way while he played with our 3 month old beagle puppy, but they started to smell. Ever since I got pregnant, I've had the smell sense of a scent-hound and it was irritating me. I was already starting to boil because he was suppost to be watching a movie with me while we ate and instead he was playing with the stupid dog and making him bark and howl after I told him I had a headache coming on . So I flipped out about the fishy smelling plates and told him to move them. He thought it would be funny to give me a hard time about them, so he kept saying "which plates? what do you mean? oh, THOSE plates? what do you want me to do with them?" and I tried to control my anger. I finally got him to "take care" of them, which in his mind was moving them from the floor to the counter in the kitchen, where they still stunk. Normally it wouldn't bother me, but like I said, I was already heated. So I threw the plates in the trash, including the one with 7 or 8 yummy shrimp left that I was gonna save for today and started cleaning things and shutting everything down for the night.
He then had the nerve to say "You didn't just throw those shrimp away, did you?" I ignored him...."I know you can here me and it's about to get worse in a few seconds"....continued to ignore him pretty much out of spite because he said it was going to get worse and I just didn't really care at that point so I walked away to bed. He then came in in a huff and grabbed his pillow and went to sleep on the couch. That was it, I was at the end of my rope so I started crying like every pregnant woman does when she's not sleeping, eating, or talking about her unborn baby and stormed out there freaking out and he just ignored me.....so I said "How can you get pissed off at me when I'm already pissed at you?! You never try to make things better, you only ignore me and try to make it worse!!!!!!! FINE!!!! lets see how bad we can make it" and I THREW the dining room chair across the kitchen which broke into a few pieces....I had no idea I had that kind of strength! Then I pushed this little glass chess set off the hutch with all the force I had in me and it shattered ALL over the dining room and kitchen and some pieces in the living room!!!! You can only imagine how hard I had to push it off the table, and stormed into the bathroom to sob and shower.
( By the way, the sound of shattering glass can be very soothing.... )
Of course I had to clean it up at 1:00 am this morning because he just went to sleep and pretended like it didn't even happen . I made a point to make as much noise and banging as I could and he just pretended to sleep!!!! There's no way anyone could've stayed asleep through the cleaning tantrem I went through. It was so infuriating..
Anyway, I went to bed and sobbed some more and here I am this morning, I've been awake for 27 1/2 hours because I can't sleep and my pregnancy symptoms are raging. Stuffy nose, swollen limbs, backache, Not to mention I felt like I had a panic attack last night. My heartrate wasn't too fast, but it was hard, I could feel my heart beating hard for like 3 hours. I got hot flashes and basically thought I killed my baby, which made it worse...hence the complete lack of sleep. I haven't slept all night and yesterday I was up at 4 am with a stuffy nose and heartburn. I'm a mess, I feel like I got run over by a bus. My lungs hurt from sobbing, my eyes burn from crying, my whole body is swore from lack of sleep and immense levels of stress. and stupid DH is STILL sleeping on the couch right now!!!! Would it be a bad thing to go out there and punch him in the face???

Anyway...thanks for listening....I just needed to get that out, I feel like crap right now and I know it was over something stupid that was blown out of proportion and our marriage is not coming to an end, I'm just over-tired and stresses out....~sigh~
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  #2  
January 29th, 2006, 07:58 AM
nat81
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Wow! Sounds like you had quit the night!!! I know what it's like to have "pregnancy feak outs" but I must say, I've never gone to that extreem! I'm glad you got your frustration out but maybe try and talk things through with DH instead of breaking things .

If there's one thing I've learned about being a mommy is to not have those "freak outs" in front of or around the baby...'cause they can immitate and have those kinds of aggresion because they learn it. Also, it's not any easier having a bayby around than being pregnant so you will still get really frustrated towards DH. So for you and the baby's sake... try to breath and tell DH what is bothering you.

(((HUGS))) I hope things cool down...
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  #3  
January 29th, 2006, 08:47 AM
rachel_claire's Avatar Veteran
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thanks!
we did talk this morning and everything's fine. The thing that bothered me most was that the baby can hear me and I felt so bad to be thaat upset. I'm going to try to never be like that around him, which is why we needed to talk. And we did, so we're ok now!
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  #4  
January 29th, 2006, 09:05 AM
nat81
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That's good to hear !
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  #5  
January 30th, 2006, 09:04 AM
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I know freak outs happen when your pregnant but I would look into some anger management or some counceling. I'm not saying this to be mean, but throwing and destroying things plus the urge to "punch him in the face" needs to be worked out. There's some issues that might need to be dealt with. Most people get hormonal rages, but few destroy things and want to physically hurt the other person. I can't blame DH for sleeping on the couch....I would have left the house.

If the shoe were on the opposite and DH started breaking things and wanting to hit you, you'd probably want him thrown in jail. DH's are people too and deserve every bit of respect that you should receive.

Talk to some people about it (preferrably a professional) and get it under control before the child comes along. You and DH will be much better off for it. There's nothing wrong with seeing a councelor....they are there to help.

Good luck to you and DH. I hope everything works out well for you.
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  #7  
January 30th, 2006, 12:36 PM
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Well, I for one think your anger was totally justified. Sounds like you and I have similar anger issues. Not saying that it's a good thing, but I totally hear where your coming from.
When my man and I were fighting about his mom (URRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!) I thought I was going to have a miscarriage right then and there. I was shaking uncontrollably, screaming at the top of my lungs, couldn't breathe, and even actually pushed him a few times. I remember wanting to throw the tv at his head and kicking him while he was down...lol I know that's not right, but it's just a feeling. Not anything I would ever actually do (for one, I'm not strong enough to lift the tv!! hehehe ). Then after all that, I proceeded to bawl my eyes out (while the stupid jerk SLEPT in bed) for well over 4 hours before I finally fell asleep for about an hour. Woke up, then proceeded to bawl my eyes out for the rest of the day. And those cries are NEVER good!! When it's done, you have this pounding headache, you can't breathe from your nose all day from being so stuffy, and you hurt all over!!
So trust me, I've been there! Maybe now that you had this freak out, he'll understand that he can't get away with pissing you off like that. Suuuuuure, he may not have totally understood that the smell of fish would set you off...But I'm sure he knew that smells in general make you ill, so he should have known better. Especially when you weren't kidding around when you asked him to get rid of it!
Well either way, I'm glad you worked thing out. I know it feels so good to resolve that kind of issue. Since my big blow out with my man, we haven't fought like that again. He's been pretty good at making sure he keeps me calm and happy (especially since I went to the hospital last week with very stong braxton hicks contractions and the doc said I need a stress free environment). Guys just need to get a clue that pregnant women aren't even human anymore. We come from a totally different planet where, there, we were all queens and we need to be catered to 24/7 to be made comfortable and they must never be annoying because back on our planet, they would get the death sentence... hehehe jk of course, but still! We aren't ourselves, and it's really hard for them to get it. Luckily, it's only for this short while, and then we can sort of get back to normal.
Try to not get so stressed...drink lots of milk, and take a warm bath with bubbles (or none if your sense of smell is all whacked out) and maybe even go get yourself a bottle of sparkling apply juice, or non-alcoholic beer and make believe that you're actually having a drink. Trust me, you'll feel sooooo gooooooood! Then when your nice and relaxed, get your man to make it up to you, and give you a fully body massage! He definately owes you one!!!! hehehe
Take care!
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  #8  
February 11th, 2006, 04:45 PM
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My ex-DH and I got into a fight over a tv show when I was pg with DD. after I asked him three times to let it lie and quit talking, I lost it and did the same thing- I destroyed my whole kitchen and he walked out of the apartment. three hours later he returned home to find me minus one front tooth- one of the glasses I threw bounced back and hit me in the face. I got it replaced, but the dentist didn't do a very nice job, so I have a nice reminder of that temper tantrum every time I look in the mirror. some of us react rather poorly to pregnancy hormones, to say the least. if it continues, you might want to see a therapist, but I was fine after i delivered.
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