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I had a surpise baby in July. DH and I already had twins and were not planning on having anymore. She was a condom baby. I want to first say that I do love her with all of my heart and cannot imagine if she were gone but sometimes I wonder if we were right to have her.
All I can think of is how much happier everyone was when we didn't have this extra little one. I was able to get everything done, the twins got attention that they so desperately needed and I didn't have to work 6 days a week to support us.
DH says that its the ages that are making my life hard.....but I don't know....I am barely making it through each day......
I too feel sometimes that my life would be so different if I hadn't gotten unexpectantly pregnant. I had just finished university and my fiance (then bf) was just getting started in his career. Now I am trying to get my business going (I'm a music teacher) and I sometimes feel that if I didn't have DD, I could be doing so much more!
BUT then, I look at her and think to myself... she didn't ask to be born... so she deserves to be treated just like any other "planned" baby. Although things might be tough now, I know they'll get better.... I just like to think that later, it will have been all worth it!
So you're not alone hun... take care and feel free to PM me anytime
You know....if you weren't "right" to have her, God wouldn't have given you such a blessing. I feel for you and I know that right now it seems tough, but trust me, it will get better.
The thing to remember is that times like these make you a stronger person. And you'll look back in the days to come and wonder how you could have felt that way, or how you managed to make it (and be surprised because you did!).
I was a single mom for a long time. When my ex-dh left me for another woman (who had 6 kids from 5 different fathers), I would wonder how in the heck was I going to make it.....and wonder if I made a mistake in having two kids....and thought how much easier my life would be if I didn't have them.
But then I looked at their beautiful faces, and reaped the sweet, sticky kisses, and know that I couldn't have lived without them...no matter how hard or tough things got.
I'm sure you feel the same....it's hard not to fall in love with the tiny, needy face that looks at you so lovingly... Just some days are better than others...but know that the good times will be just around the corner.
You have your DH and the twins to help you through....and I'm sure they all love the new one too...and your house will be filled with so much love as all of you bond and get stronger each day. It may seem like things were better before....but just remember the sweet moments and you'll forget all about that.
Hang in there hon! You obviously were chosen for this babe. Think of those that yearn with all their hearts every single day (like I did for soooo many years) for a little one....and you'll know that this was truely a blessing.
Good luck to you and your family!
I love my 3 girls and little boy:
Mom to Jessica - 19 yrs old, Amber - 18 yrs old, Sebastian - 2 months
(((HUGS))) i know exactly how you feel. I have a 5 and a 3 yearold and baby #3 is on the way. I am in school and i was going to major in nursing but the entrance is sooo hard and i might not be able to keep up, not counting i might have to sit out 2 semesters when the baby comes. I feel like ive been sabotoged sometimes and DF might have to work 2 jobs or longer shifts. and that means he wont get to spend alot of quality time with the baby. He was talking about abortion and i understood his reason, but this baby didnt ask to be born he or she or both!! was just fine in heaven, and i feel it is our responsibity to love and provide for this baby. I cant not have it for my own selfish reasons. so we just have to endure and I believe that things work themselves out for the better.
This pregnancy was not planned...and neither was my daughter. She is almost 9 months old now and the most important thing in this world! I was in school full time, getting ready to graduate and working about 70 hours a week in a great management position! I ended up quitting my job and going back to a less stressful position. My fiancee and I ended up splitting up a month after she was born and I never would have gotten through it with out her. She kept me strong through all of it. I was lucky enough that I didn't have to worry about things from a financial standpoint. I met who I thought was a great guy with a two year old and we started dating. I got pregnant again...unexpectedly. Isabella was 2 1/2 months old! We got engaged and I bought a bigger house since I was now about to be married with three kids! Well, he had recently gotten custody of his son and was "new" to being a father and decided her didn't like it. He off and went. Left his son with his parents and left me 6 months pregnant on bed rest and with a 7 1/2 month old. Since then Isabella's father and I have gotten back together, and will probably end up getting married soon.
Okay - so that was a long story, but the point of it is that things happen unexpectedly and you have to run with it. I am 23 years old and never planned on having a baby before I was married. Here I am, about to have 2 kids under the age of 1. I think that the most important part is to keep positive and supportive people in your life. My mom has been very unsupportive, and I hate to say it, but we rarely speak anymore.
(((HUGS))) i know exactly how you feel. I have a 5 and a 3 yearold and baby #3 is on the way. I am in school and i was going to major in nursing but the entrance is sooo hard and i might not be able to keep up, not counting i might have to sit out 2 semesters when the baby comes. I feel like ive been sabotoged sometimes and DF might have to work 2 jobs or longer shifts. and that means he wont get to spend alot of quality time with the baby. He was talking about abortion and i understood his reason, but this baby didnt ask to be born he or she or both!! was just fine in heaven, and i feel it is our responsibity to love and provide for this baby. I cant not have it for my own selfish reasons. so we just have to endure and I believe that things work themselves out for the better.[/b]
I am in the same boat as you! I am new on this board. I have two children one 5 and 3 and #3 is due in september. I had to graduate early this year when I found out I was pregnant as I was going for a specialized honours degree in psychology. I will have to take next year off- in which I would have attended teacher's college- to raise the baby. My husband and I hadn't thought of having another child until we had bought a house and I had finished teacher's college which would have been three years from now. I was looking forward of to just the four of us! I feel awful, I haven't even told the children that another little sister or brother is on the way, as I feel I am taking time I would have spent w/ them. It is hard feeling like this when my husband feels the opposite. It's nice to know that there are women who feel the same as me. I hope in time all are fears and anxieties eases up.
Married 4 years to DH (29)
It's a BOY!
Marcus is due September 24th