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  #1  
February 7th, 2006, 02:12 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2
i was looking for a place to get support from and i came across this site. im 24 weeks now and so scared. the father wants nothing to do with me or any of this, so im doing this by myself. this past week has been an especially hard one. i guess i should start with when i told the father... he was ok with it at first he said he would come to my appointments and everything then 2 days later he said that he wanted nothing to do with it, he didnt believe that i was actually pregnant much less that its his. last week i ran into him and since im showing now he obviously believes me now but he started texting me saying some really mean things, i couldnt stop cring for hours. non of my friends seem to be around anymore, but thank god for my ex he talked to me till 5 am calming me down. then last night my ex said something that i didnt like and the tears came again, of course he was again the one who sat and talked to me all night again. these hormones are driving me crazy though, the smallest thing is making me cry now, and its making me think things that i wish i wasnt thinking. im so scared of doing this by myself, ive already come to terms with the fact that the father is never going to be a part of this but still i cant help but wish. sorry im rambling now, just looking to share my story it actually has helped to just get this out.
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  #2  
February 7th, 2006, 02:16 AM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513
Quote:
i was looking for a place to get support from and i came across this site. im 24 weeks now and so scared. the father wants nothing to do with me or any of this, so im doing this by myself. this past week has been an especially hard one. i guess i should start with when i told the father... he was ok with it at first he said he would come to my appointments and everything then 2 days later he said that he wanted nothing to do with it, he didnt believe that i was actually pregnant much less that its his. last week i ran into him and since im showing now he obviously believes me now but he started texting me saying some really mean things, i couldnt stop cring for hours. non of my friends seem to be around anymore, but thank god for my ex he talked to me till 5 am calming me down. then last night my ex said something that i didnt like and the tears came again, of course he was again the one who sat and talked to me all night again. these hormones are driving me crazy though, the smallest thing is making me cry now, and its making me think things that i wish i wasnt thinking. im so scared of doing this by myself, ive already come to terms with the fact that the father is never going to be a part of this but still i cant help but wish. sorry im rambling now, just looking to share my story it actually has helped to just get this out.[/b]

first of all just wanna say welcome to the site! everyone here is really nice..as for your situation..i would give him time..i come to the realization that alot of guys need time to accept the fact that there going to be a dad..i no its hard but dont let him get to you when he says mean things..just worry about yours and the baby's health (which i think is the most important thing) so when are you do? do you no what your having yet? i wish u the best of luck!
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  #3  
February 7th, 2006, 05:11 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 141
Congrats on the baby! And welcome! Like Sandy said, everyone here is really nice, and they've been my support system throughout my pregnancy, during the bad times and good! I'm 22 weeks now, but tomorrow will be 23 weeks.

Who is this ex of yours?? I'm not so sure he should be your ex...wink wink...He's there for you, even though he said something yucky to you the other day. He still stuck around to comfort you after. The "biological father" of this little beaner is a very stupid man! He's missing out on the best things in life. Oh well, his loss, right? It may be a selfish thing to say, but now you don't have to share all these moments with anyone, you get to keep them all to you! (trying to put a positive spin on things for ya,...not sure if it's working??)
Well, sounds like you're a very strong girl! You'll be just fine on your own. You and your little one will support eachother through thick and thin! And the hormone thing, oh honey!!! I've been there!!! And am still there with you! I cry at absolutely everything!!!
Yesterday I got the most wonderful news that my little beaner is a GIRL!!! And I must have cried for about half an hour in the women's washroom at work during my shift...Then got home and cried some more! These were happy tears but hormonal nonetheless. And I've had some really rocky times with my b/f regarding this baby, his stupid mom, and his stupid male tendencies of being a clueless idiot...I've cried enough to fill buckets upon buckets with my tears! I think it's normal during these times! But once baby comes, you'll forget all about that, because you'll have a beautiful little baby that will make things all better!

If the "father" came back into the picutre, would you let him be a part of your life again? If not, then take what he has to say with a grain of salt, be the bigger person and let him go f*ck himself. Give him the finger by getting the government to garnish his wages for child support!!!! Then we'll see who laughing!
Good luck to you sweetie!! Hope you feel better! This is a great place for you to come and vent, help others, and even just listen if that's what you want. You're always welcome here! And you can email me anytime if you want a one on one conversation! btaillefer101@hotmail.com (PS. that goes for anyone who reads this too!!! )
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  #4  
February 7th, 2006, 12:07 PM
momma06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Missouri
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I'm sorry you're going through all of that! It must be scary going through this alone. Do you have any family support? Just keep in mind that in the future you'll meet the man of your dreams and he will be there holding your hand through everything...sadly you have to wait for that day to come. About the non-stop crying unless you have PPD, that'll get better after you have the baby. I love not being emotional now. Best of luck with everything!
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  #5  
February 7th, 2006, 12:54 PM
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 46
I'm sorry that the baby's father isn't going to be there for you. My fiance was right there with me but my closest friend had no one when she was pregnant with her first. She found out she was pregnant a week after she found out her boyfriend had been seeing another woman She was devastated and scared...but a year later she met her nows husband and just this morning she gave birth to their little boy Point is, you will meet someone and if he's right....he'll love both you and your baby. Don't fear. Being a single mom can be difficult, but you're not really going to be alone...you're going to be a family with your child. About the hormones...my god! My fiance and I hardly ever fought in 2 years...but once I got pregnant, I was jumping on him about everything. I was a mad woman. I was offended by everything everyone said and I cried at everything on tv...even those toilet paper commercials with the little puppies It seems like you're being valid when you're upset or angry...but once the baby comes, the hormones will start to fade and you'll be sane again Don't worry hun, things get better as time goes along...and I promise that the second you see your baby your whole life is going to change. Best of luck, keep us updated!
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  #6  
February 7th, 2006, 09:40 PM
Telucero's Avatar Veteran
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newmamma,
I am 25 and just wanted to tell you although you may feel you are going it alone, you really aren't. There people out there who are/will be excited for you, these are your true friends, and the ones you need to continue to surround yourself with. My father side has disowned me and my sister has acted like I have committed the ultimate sin by choosing to keep my baby. I will say coming to justmommies.com has really been a huge help. I left my fiance because I needed to ensure the best possible environment for myself and my child. Just remember you are creating a new life, ENJOY IT!!! I haven't spoken to my father since the day I told him about being pregnant, focusing on that saddness took away from me being able to focus on the joy of my baby. Yes, being emotional can be a little overwhelming at times, but it just means your hormones are doing what they are supposed to be doing...supporting a healthy baby!!! Anyway, to get to my point, when you least expect it, you will come across people who want to support you and share your excitement, however the reverse is also true. This is your choice and be confident about this. For the sake of your baby, focus on the positives, there are a million, and deal with the negatives as they come even if that means ignoring people. Good luck, keep us updated...your ex sounds like a prince...
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  #7  
February 8th, 2006, 07:36 AM
nat81
Guest
Posts: n/a
I thought you might need that!

Congrats and welcome! You've come to the right place and I hope you get all the support you need. You've gotten some good replies with great advice so I'm not going to add anything. Good luck hun and I hope you stick around!
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  #8  
February 9th, 2006, 05:56 PM
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 16
Quote:
i was looking for a place to get support from and i came across this site. im 24 weeks now and so scared. the father wants nothing to do with me or any of this, so im doing this by myself. this past week has been an especially hard one. i guess i should start with when i told the father... he was ok with it at first he said he would come to my appointments and everything then 2 days later he said that he wanted nothing to do with it, he didnt believe that i was actually pregnant much less that its his. last week i ran into him and since im showing now he obviously believes me now but he started texting me saying some really mean things, i couldnt stop cring for hours. non of my friends seem to be around anymore, but thank god for my ex he talked to me till 5 am calming me down. then last night my ex said something that i didnt like and the tears came again, of course he was again the one who sat and talked to me all night again. these hormones are driving me crazy though, the smallest thing is making me cry now, and its making me think things that i wish i wasnt thinking. im so scared of doing this by myself, ive already come to terms with the fact that the father is never going to be a part of this but still i cant help but wish. sorry im rambling now, just looking to share my story it actually has helped to just get this out.[/b]

Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

Once I became pregnant, it seemed that all my friends left. Looking back I left a good chunk of them - mainly because I knew that I couldn't make myself a good mommy if I kept the kinds of friends I had around. They were always drinking & calling for a place to stay because they were getting kicked out or needing bail money.
As for my husband I could have SWORN he became so mean (but it was really just me being pregnant and emotional). I was sick from too much sweets, so he took them and put them up for me -- and I started crying thinking he was calling me super fat!!LOL


-Jacqueline
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  #9  
February 10th, 2006, 12:38 AM
Regular
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2
thank you for everyones advise, just reading it made me feel alot better. as for how far along i am .... 24 weeks and its a boy!!!!! and yes i do have support from my family, my parents are so excited to be grandparents. , the ex is my biggest support though, hes the one whos there at 3 am to calm me down i dont know what id do without his friendship. ill keep you posted on the father situation if anything changes, but im not holding my breath, it would be nice if he wanted to be in the babys life and even with all the mean stuff hes said and the way hes acted i would still like him to be there for his son but im not holding my breath on that. thanks again for the support.
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