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Very scared...need advice


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
February 15th, 2005, 07:46 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 4
Hi,

I am so glad I found your website. I am 35 yrs old and mother to two beautiful daughters, ages 5 and 18 months. I just found out I am pregnant and am very nervous about it. My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have a great relationship. He is very supportive about this shocking news and has said he would support my decision. We had only planned on two children, and this unplanned pregnancy is somewhat devastating. Am I selfish for feeling this way? I love my girls so much and can't help feeling a third child would put stress on our family. I guess I have planned everything years in advance in my life and this is such a surprise that I am having a hard time accepting it. I would love input from others that are in or have been in this position.
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  #2  
February 15th, 2005, 10:17 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boothwyn, PA
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I'm not in that situation but I feel as though that decision is totally up to you. DH and I also agreed on two children and I will be having a tubal before I leave the hospital with my 2nd. IMO, if I get pregnant after that- it was meant to be and I would probably have it. Were you on bc? Are either of you sterilized? It might be something to consider if you really don't want anymore. Feeling stressed about an unplanned pregnancy is totally normal and I wish you the best of luck in your decision. The ladies on here are a great support group. So if you have any more questions or just need to vent- we are here for you! Good Luck!
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  #3  
February 15th, 2005, 10:30 AM
AUGMOM's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 112
I kinda know how you feel and this too will work out. You will find that you love this child as much as you do your other dd. So what you didn't plan this one, but I bet you will love this baby and one day look backand think to yourself what was I thinking. Good luck and lots of hugs
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The day you deliver, outside will be foggy. Your baby will arrive in the evening.

After a labor lasting approximately 4 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 8 pounds, 11 ounces, and will be 19-1/2 inches long. This child will have light blue eyes and some very fine hair.
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  #4  
February 15th, 2005, 12:43 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: at my desk
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(((HUGS))) I'm sure everything will work out. You're probably just very overwhelmed right now.

Just remember you do not have to divide the love, the love with mulitple when you add another child.
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  #5  
February 15th, 2005, 04:17 PM
mamaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,528
You can be logical about it and sit down and list the pro/cons, how it affects finance, child care, and whatever else - and while that all makes good sense, there is an emotional factor and a leap of faith factor that's there too. I think that's what it comes down to. You have to be able to look back and feel emotionally comfortable with your decision, and not just secure in the "logical" reasons. Which I'm sure you already know, but that's my two cents. Best of luck with whatever you decide!
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  #6  
February 15th, 2005, 04:29 PM
LadyBelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 10,125
Hi I too hada shock.My baby was almost 7 my dh had a vasectomy The dr almost had to pick me up off the floor.For a week dh & I walked around in a daze.We are blessed to be having our little miracle.

You have been given a curve ball but you can handle it....so it wasnt the plan but its no less a blessing!Take a deep breath & give it a chance to sink in!
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  #7  
February 15th, 2005, 07:00 PM
kjomomma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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with my 3rd i was sure that was the one that was going to break us and here we are, she is almost 2 and i am very unexpectedly pregnant again. i am freaking but i know all in all it will be allright. but i am getting my tubes tied this time. i think you just need time to get used to the idea and maybe it won't seem so bad. good luck to you and welcome to jm. btw i am kelly and i am one of the hosts here. i am 25 and pregnant with my 4th child. i bet your girls will be excited about the idea of a baby too
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  #8  
February 16th, 2005, 10:08 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 4
Thanks for all your input. My DH and I went to a clinic to speak to a counselor about our options. The moment we sat down in the waiting room, we looked at each other and said "what are we doing here?". That was the eye opening moment I had been looking for. We decided to talk with the counselor anyway, but about how we are feeling and not about options. She gave us some good information. We now feel somewhat relieved that our decision has been made to proceed with the pregnancy (we both said deep down we knew we would come to this decision all along). Funny how your mind works and panics you. I still feeled very scared and nervous about having a third child, but at least the decision has been made. This website has been so helpful in sorting out my feelings. I feel I will need the ongoing support to help with the emotional roller coaster I am embarking on. Thanks again for all your help.
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  #9  
February 16th, 2005, 10:15 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by kymbill1393@Feb 16 2005, 01:08 PM
Thanks for all your input.* My DH and I went to a clinic to speak to a counselor about our options.* The moment we sat down in the waiting room, we looked at each other and said "what are we doing here?".* That was the eye opening moment I had been looking for.* We decided to talk with the counselor anyway, but about how we are feeling and not about options.* She gave us some good information.* We now feel somewhat relieved that our decision has been made to proceed with the pregnancy (we both said deep down we knew we would come to this decision all along).* Funny how your mind works and panics you.* I still feeled very scared and nervous about having a third child, but at least the decision has been made.* This website has been so helpful in sorting out my feelings.* I feel I will need the ongoing support to help with the emotional roller coaster I am embarking on.* Thanks again for all your help.
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((((HUGS)))) I'm glad you and your DH came to a decision. Please do stick around.
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  #10  
December 30th, 2005, 05:57 AM
Regular
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1
Quote:
Hi,

I am so glad I found your website. I am 35 yrs old and mother to two beautiful daughters, ages 5 and 18 months. I just found out I am pregnant and am very nervous about it. My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have a great relationship. He is very supportive about this shocking news and has said he would support my decision. We had only planned on two children, and this unplanned pregnancy is somewhat devastating. Am I selfish for feeling this way? I love my girls so much and can't help feeling a third child would put stress on our family. I guess I have planned everything years in advance in my life and this is such a surprise that I am having a hard time accepting it. I would love input from others that are in or have been in this position.[/b]
After spending hours reading all the various posts i was so glad to come across yours with a bunch of natural worries & concerns. I am 36yrs old, married only 2 months to a guy with 2 full time step children i have taken on as my own, one being hyperactive aged 8 and the other 11, i have recently found out i am 5 weeks pregnant, not planned. I am completely in turmoil, im disgraced to say i had an abortion a year ago and now feel i am in a position that i should offer this child a place on this earth, but all i can feel is emotional turmoil and worry . I am worrying how i will cope, just recently getting married & having 2 boystrous boys at home which i have managed to just about get used to after 4 years living together, i feel im too old and set in my ways but also feel so desperately guilty about going down the same road i did before. I am scared to death, my husband after the initial shock has been supportive and said he will be with me whichever i decide. It was nice to read your post being older and having the same sort of feelings, good luck in your decisions xx
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