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drinking around a baby..


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
February 24th, 2006, 09:09 AM
beckii's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hi. I've posted here a couple times, and I just wanted to get your opinions on something. First off, I'm not pregnant anymore, but my DD was unplanned..

Ok, so when I was pregnant (i live with my BF and his grandmother and sometimes his mother..) his mom would come here and drink.. I was alright with it because I had my BF and she mostly just got really stupid and loud.. Not violent or anything.. So it didn't bother me so much, but it did bother me..

Anyways, she hasn't been staying nights here for a while.. She has a live-in job.. So she just comes back here to visit although I don't know why because we don't need/want her here.. Anyways, she brought home groceries today with his grandmother, and she has the weekend off so she's staying here.. Well I saw two eight packs of beer while I was unpacking.. I was thinking, "hell no, she can't be drinking here".. Cause like, our little 5 week old daughter is around and I'm sorry but I don't want an alcholic around her.. I don't want her raised around that kind of #####..

I was thinking of going to my sister's for the night to get away from her.. Hopefully my BF won't be mad with me, because he isn't really fond of my sister.. But I'd rather be there then here with all this alcohol and his drunk mother..

Am I overreacting any? I mean, I know she's only young, 5 weeks, so you could argue she doesn't know what's going on.. But to me, it matters.. What do you all think?? It seriously makes me angry that she would even think about drinking around my baby, her granddaughter who she says that she would never drink around and never do anything to.. Ugh
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  #2  
February 24th, 2006, 09:39 AM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i no everyones opinion is different but for me i wouldnt want that either...you honestly really never no what could happen with a drunk person..they might act one way one time and they might act another way the next time they drink..if anything u could stay in the room with your daughter and dont let her hold her unless u no she hasnt been drinking because u wouldnt want her to drop her (they dont no what there doing sometimes when drinking)..your boyfriend shouldnt be mad at you for staying over your sister house for a night and if you think that is for the best interest for your daughter then id say do it..whatever u feel right about doing and he should respect that because your only looking at the well being of your child...hope i helped a little
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  #3  
February 24th, 2006, 09:44 AM
beckii's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it The thing that scares me most, is that I'm not the type of person who really stands up and says no, don't do that.. I'm more so shy.. And that worries me.

I've also never been drunk (weird, yeah since I'm 17 but I hate alcohol *puke* lol) so I don't really know where her mind is and what its like.. But I know she is totally not stable enough to handle my daughter.. She's barely sturdy when she's sober.. And also, she isn't very good with babies.. Like, she doesn't know how to hold her or anything..

It just scares me because I love my daughter so much and I'd die if anything happened to her.. Thanks for the advice though, I really appreciate it
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  #4  
February 24th, 2006, 10:12 AM
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i would be mad too. when my hubby and i had our son we did drink until he was like 3m old and even then only one of us did so there was never any worrie about what would happen if he woke up and thats another thing we've to this day have never had a beer in front of him he is always in bed for at least an hour or two before we even consider drinking and when we both want to drink we have one of the grandma's watch him all night ( well that hasn't happened in a long while cuz i'm 34wks and have not drank the whole time i've been prgnant) but yah, i'm totally against drinking around babies/children peirod i don't think its right and you have every right to feel the way you do
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  #6  
February 24th, 2006, 11:13 AM
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Hey,
You're absolutely NOT overreacting! You're thinking about your baby first and that's NEVER a bad thing! The reason why I think you totally should leave to go to your sister's or anywhere else for that matter is mainly to set some boundaries. Sure, the baby is little now and doesn't understand...but what about when she gets older and knows what's happening? You have to put your foot down now rather than later. Because if you do it later, she won't understand why "all of a sudden" you have a problem with it. If you show it now, and you take her granddaughter away from her if she's drinking, then she'll get the picture. I wouldn't just leave though. I'd talk to her and say, " I just wanted to let you know that (b/f) and I have decided not to let anyone drink alcohol around the baby. I just wanted to let you know , because I saw you brought some booze, and I just wanted to give you the heads up since I don't think we've spoken about it before. If you want to drink, I'm not going to stop you, but I'll be taking baby to my sisters. It's not to be insulting, or to imply that you're dangerous, but we just don't want to expose our little one to it, and of course we don't want to take any chances...I hope you understand." If you just say it nicely, and while she's still sober, she may be more receptive. If she starts to argue about it or gives you attitude, then you can just simply tell her it's a decision you've made, and regardless of how mad she gets, you're not changing your mind or going to make exceptions. That's it, that's all!
Good luck! I hope this helps.
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  #7  
February 24th, 2006, 12:15 PM
irishxrose
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Quote:
Hey,
You're absolutely NOT overreacting! You're thinking about your baby first and that's NEVER a bad thing! The reason why I think you totally should leave to go to your sister's or anywhere else for that matter is mainly to set some boundaries. Sure, the baby is little now and doesn't understand...but what about when she gets older and knows what's happening? You have to put your foot down now rather than later. Because if you do it later, she won't understand why "all of a sudden" you have a problem with it. If you show it now, and you take her granddaughter away from her if she's drinking, then she'll get the picture. I wouldn't just leave though. I'd talk to her and say, " I just wanted to let you know that (b/f) and I have decided not to let anyone drink alcohol around the baby. I just wanted to let you know , because I saw you brought some booze, and I just wanted to give you the heads up since I don't think we've spoken about it before. If you want to drink, I'm not going to stop you, but I'll be taking baby to my sisters. It's not to be insulting, or to imply that you're dangerous, but we just don't want to expose our little one to it, and of course we don't want to take any chances...I hope you understand." If you just say it nicely, and while she's still sober, she may be more receptive. If she starts to argue about it or gives you attitude, then you can just simply tell her it's a decision you've made, and regardless of how mad she gets, you're not changing your mind or going to make exceptions. That's it, that's all!
Good luck! I hope this helps.[/b]
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  #8  
February 24th, 2006, 12:28 PM
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your best bet in almost any parenting situation is to get the facts and then go with your gut. you've got facts, and you've got your gut feeling- now go with that.
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