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I'm 18 and a freshman in college and in December I found out that I'm pregnant. I talked it over with the father, who I've been dating since June. We don't see anyone else, but he's afraid of putting a label on things since he's in college and needs his freedom. Anyways, he convinced me that the only option was abortion. I scheduled the appointment as much as I was against it, and went to the clinic. When they did the ultrasound they told me that I had twins. I had discussed it with the father before, and said that if it was more than one (I had a feeling) that I wouldn't be able to go through with it. When they had me talk to a counselor I broke down and just couldn't go through with the abortion. I talked to the counselor and decided on what I had originally wanted to do: adoption. When I told the father he said that he was amazed at how strong I was being and that even though he was afraid he'd support me no matter what. Now, he's told his parents and they've made up his mind for him. They told me that he wouldn't talk to me or help me if I have these babies, and so far that's what he's doing. It's going to be so hard giving up these babies that I don't think I can deal with losing him too. He told me that we could finally be together if I had an abortion but I just can't do that. I can't do that for anyone but myself, and it's not what I want. I guess I just need some help dealing with all of this and going through this alone. :'(
Congratulations to you! for not going through with the abortion (I'm sorry I'm just very much against it) anyways in the long run the only person you can really count on is yourself. You need to put yourself first now, and those babies. In my opinion it is very selfish of him to be worried about "putting a label on things" when there are other things he should be thinking about. I know you may really like this guy but if he isn't going to stick around for the hard times,,, what does that tell you? This isn't going to be the only hard time in your relationship. You just need to worry about whats best for your babies and for you. I hope the best for you, and we are always here for you to talk to... *hugs*
(((HUGS)))) CONGRATS on your pregnancy. I'm sure you dont hear that too often. You need to do what is right for you and your babies. He's a jerk if he can put terms on your relationship. If you do ____ then I"ll be with you. That is stupid and you should be with someone as immature as he is. If giving the babies up for adoption is what you feel is right then that is what you need to do. Maybe you can find a family that wants to adopt them before you have them. That way they can help support you emotionally as you go through this pregnancy. You can also get to know them and know your babies are going to a loving him. It might really help you in the end. Good luck. Please stick around. We will suport you as well.
(((((HUGS))))) AND CONGRATS TO YOU for being strong enough to follow your heart. How is your own family situation? Are your parents/other relatives being supportive at least? I wish you the best of luck. As you know, it won't be easy but I believe it will all be worth it in the end. You can go back to school afterwards and, if you chose open adoption, you can still keep in contact with your babies and still watch them as they grow. Their are many, many loving and kind families that would give your babies a wonderful life. Congrats again and hang in there!
I agree with Shannon and Jennifer. They do have open adoption now where they send you pictures of the children. And I do think you can have a say in the couple who adopts them. Start asking. Maybe talk to your doctor. He is a jerk, and if he can't be there for you now then he won't be there for you through other rough times. His parents sound just as irresponsible. I suppose that explains alot. i know you really think you have a future with him, but he is more into his own future than yours. Take care of yourself and those babies and we're always here.
Linda, mommy to Nikolas & Andrew, 5 year old twin boys and Ember Rose, almost 3.