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I'm scared, stupid, and insecure


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
February 28th, 2006, 05:50 PM
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Hey Everyone. Well today I found out that my fiance just got promoted to manager of the company that he works for. Well I'm really excited about that, but we will be having to move. (Keep in mind throughout my story that this is the 3rd time we've had to move for him). Well none of my family except for my dad lives in the town we live in now, so I'm not sad about leaving this town. I'm just upset about leaving behind the comfort of knowing my fiance will always be here. Well, those of you who have read my previous posts, know that he has two friends (whom I considered mutual until I got preggers) that told my fiance to leave me when he told them I was pregnant. Well these two friends live in the town that we are moving to and I'm scared that they are going to take him away from me. Meaning, he's going to go to work all day while I'm home alone, and when he gets off they're going to go out to bars. And I'm scared that they are going to try and convince him when he's drunk to cheat on me or leave me. I know I'm probably being irrational (I mean I know my fiance loves me) but these two guys have been his friends since elementary school so he's pretty trusting of them. I already talked to my fiance about it and he just said I was being stupid and yelled at me. I hardly get to see him now (he works 10-12 hours a day) and when I do I don't want him going out to get drunk with his stupid friends. Both of his friends have never had a serious relationship or have kids, and they are still in "party mode" as I like to call it. I mean, I don't think he would ever cheat on me, but being drunk and in that company, I just don't know! I don't have anyone to talk to about it, and I'm doing all I can to keep from crying and worrying about it nonstop. Please, please, please reply to this and tell me any advice or any words of wisdom. I love you, Gals!!
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  #2  
February 28th, 2006, 05:56 PM
jewll27's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Hey Everyone. Well today I found out that my fiance just got promoted to manager of the company that he works for. Well I'm really excited about that, but we will be having to move. (Keep in mind throughout my story that this is the 3rd time we've had to move for him). Well none of my family except for my dad lives in the town we live in now, so I'm not sad about leaving this town. I'm just upset about leaving behind the comfort of knowing my fiance will always be here. Well, those of you who have read my previous posts, know that he has two friends (whom I considered mutual until I got preggers) that told my fiance to leave me when he told them I was pregnant. Well these two friends live in the town that we are moving to and I'm scared that they are going to take him away from me. Meaning, he's going to go to work all day while I'm home alone, and when he gets off they're going to go out to bars. And I'm scared that they are going to try and convince him when he's drunk to cheat on me or leave me. I know I'm probably being irrational (I mean I know my fiance loves me) but these two guys have been his friends since elementary school so he's pretty trusting of them. I already talked to my fiance about it and he just said I was being stupid and yelled at me. I hardly get to see him now (he works 10-12 hours a day) and when I do I don't want him going out to get drunk with his stupid friends. Both of his friends have never had a serious relationship or have kids, and they are still in "party mode" as I like to call it. I mean, I don't think he would ever cheat on me, but being drunk and in that company, I just don't know! I don't have anyone to talk to about it, and I'm doing all I can to keep from crying and worrying about it nonstop. Please, please, please reply to this and tell me any advice or any words of wisdom. I love you, Gals!!
Northcutt2Be[/b]
I think you need to just trust him right now b/c you need as little amount of stress in your life as possible. I knwo these friends telling him to leave you is a big deal, but he hasnt left yet and hopefully once the baby is born hes gonna wanna be at home with you and the baby as much as possible. My sister married a man who was the only one of his friends to ever have a serious gf (at the time) and he was always there for her.
and if hes gonna do that kind of stuff after the baby is born all the time, is he really someone you want to raise a child with?? But right now give him the benefit of the doubt and dont panic till you get there and he starts doing it. :hugs:[i]
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  #4  
February 28th, 2006, 07:32 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 36
Oh hon, I understand your worries, but really, I think they're probably unfounded. When he found out you were pregnant he let them run their mouth but stayed with you - I'm pretty sure he probably knows how full of crap they are - guys just aren't going to ditch their friends for that.

My bf says that the older he gets the more he likes his new friends to be mature, responsible, intelligent adults. He doesn't have that same requirement of his friends from childhood and still hangs out and laughs with the most loser-y bunch back home, but it doesn't change how he acts or respects our relationship and I'm sure your guy won't either.

Just trust him and trust that you two will make more mutual friends together that will be more responsible and used to real life than his other buddies and that those will influence him from now on, rather than the older friends making him wish for his carefree days...
If he starts to act a bit too single for you, then have an intervention, but give him a chance to be the man in the situation, even if his friends act like jerks.

Best of luck!
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  #5  
March 1st, 2006, 05:55 AM
Pharry's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The fact that he is still with you despite what they have said means that you ought to give him the benefit of the doubt. Give him a chance to mess up if he's going to, but don't wish it upon him. He loves you so believe in that.
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  #6  
March 1st, 2006, 07:50 AM
JCat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,665
The move might be a good thing, if the friends aren't coming. But I think I agree with the other girls: he's chosen you and your baby.

I know moving alot for a job is scary or at very least stressful bacause my mate (new dh) is in the construction business and we move every 6months to year(at most). It works because we suport trust each other and comprimise.

Good luck.
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