Log In Sign Up

Can I Do This???


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Unplanned Pregnancy LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
March 8th, 2006, 04:42 PM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 69
For the past month I have "felt" pregnant-- took several tests that turned negative, but just took another test today and it was positive.

I am 27 years old...am not married and live on my own. I have a long history with my boyfriend, but we are one of those "on-again/off-again" couples and he has made it clear that he still doesn't know if he wants to be with me forever and I am sure he's not ready to be a dad.

I know my options, but cannot decide what to do.

Is this my baby? I am not young (will be 28 in October) so I am afraid that when I am finally married and ready to have kids I will be too old.

But, can I handle having a child? Am I ready? Can I do this? I know that this is only a questions that I can answer myself, but I need some support in some form. Any form.

I just started a new job this week-- my dream job that I (was) planning on staying with for the rest of my career. What would carrying this pregnancy mean for my job? Can I handle being a Mom and working? I know lots of people do it, but are they happy with their decision? Would they change their mind if they could go back in time?

I think that I am about 7-9 weeks...I spent all day today throwing up. What am I going to do? I am very scared.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #2  
March 8th, 2006, 05:18 PM
Nancy
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
For the past month I have "felt" pregnant-- took several tests that turned negative, but just took another test today and it was positive.

I am 27 years old...am not married and live on my own. I have a long history with my boyfriend, but we are one of those "on-again/off-again" couples and he has made it clear that he still doesn't know if he wants to be with me forever and I am sure he's not ready to be a dad.

I know my options, but cannot decide what to do.

Is this my baby? I am not young (will be 28 in October) so I am afraid that when I am finally married and ready to have kids I will be too old.

But, can I handle having a child? Am I ready? Can I do this? I know that this is only a questions that I can answer myself, but I need some support in some form. Any form.

I just started a new job this week-- my dream job that I (was) planning on staying with for the rest of my career. What would carrying this pregnancy mean for my job? Can I handle being a Mom and working? I know lots of people do it, but are they happy with their decision? Would they change their mind if they could go back in time?

I think that I am about 7-9 weeks...I spent all day today throwing up. What am I going to do? I am very scared.[/b]
I cant really tell you what to do but i will say this. I got pregnant at 16 and had no idea if i would be able to do it. but i have found that I AM able to do it and I would not trade this life with my beautiful dd for anything in this world. Good luck in deciding what to do.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
March 8th, 2006, 05:37 PM
JuneBug2006's Avatar Forever missing Gracie
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Posts: 5,897
My suggestion is to take some time to think about the answers.
Talk to your boyfriend (I know it will be hard but it is important), at least see where you stand......
I am not sure exactly of what kind of work you do so I can't really say if it will be plausible or not..........

Do what is in your heart, it will always lead you the right direction...

Having a baby is a scary, scary thing but is very very rewarding!

Please keep us updated and if you need anything, let us know! We have an awesome bunch of gals here..
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #5  
March 8th, 2006, 09:00 PM
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 36
The answer is yes. If you want to do this, you can.
You just have to decide if you want to do that.
I'm 25 and I've been a single mom for 10 years now... I started early, yes... and let me tell you, it's hard.
But there's nothing more rewarding.
As for your job, do a little more research before you panic there. I'm sure you're not that familiar with the backoffice company policies for insurance and pregnancy and maternity leave - check those out first... let that weigh in on your decision.
As for the father... to be honest, in a situation like that I think you should make the decision based on what you would do alone. Then, if he's there, GREAT! But if he's not, you're not basing a life changing decision on him being there.
And 28 is young. It's young enough to have the energy and ability to do this and old enough to have the brains to not make an idiot of yourself where it counts - in money and responsibilities and the like.
Figure out a budget - they say on average that a baby cost $7,000 during the first year - I didn't spend that much, but it's a good starting place to budget with.
And above all, don't panic.
This is completely workable. You can do this.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
March 9th, 2006, 05:19 AM
Lisadear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Trinidad
Posts: 20,622
Send a message via MSN to Lisadear Send a message via Yahoo to Lisadear
I'd say yes you can too.

I also had an unexpected pregnancy with my daughter and had the same questions ...

I soon figured out though that the more I sat and thought about it, the more questions kept coming my way and of course a lot of the answers still remained uncertain.

Quite honestly, I wouldn't change anything for the world.

I think in my heart that if I ever allowed myself to think questions, I probably would have never been ready for a child still to this day.

As I said ... I obviously was ready 13 years ago cause time has proven that.

Follow your heart hon ... bear in mind that babies and children do change your life as you know it and know what? a lot of times its a better change

thinking of you.

xxx Lisa xxx
__________________
xxx Lisa xxx<div align="center">

</div>
Reply With Quote
  #7  
March 9th, 2006, 08:55 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 1,668
Shoot girl....you are a lot stronger than you think!!!!! There have been so many girls out there in their teens having babies....and you are an adult eeking closer to 30 (lol, no offense)!

I was 21 and had two babies in diapers being a single mom. I'm no better than you...and I did it. So can you

Now my children are starting to have children.....time goes by so fast.

Just remember....God (or your higher power or what ever you believe in - life, even) won't give you anything you can't handle.

HUGS!!

Good luck!
__________________


I love my 3 girls and little boy:



Mom to Jessica - 19 yrs old, Amber - 18 yrs old, Sebastian - 2 months
Reply With Quote
  #9  
March 9th, 2006, 03:11 PM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 69
To all the Wonderful Women who responded to my post: THANK YOU.

I was totally freaked out yesterday, couldn't sleep a wink last night and thought about it all day (well, mostly all day; I have to really concentrate at my job) and still did not come up with an answer.

Someone posted said something like "i don't know if i'd ever be ready" and I think that is how I feel. I don't think it matters at what age you have a baby-- it will always be scary and noone is every READY.

Also, someone else posted that I know the answer, deep down. I think I am getting closer to accepting that answer and I just think it's going to take a bit more time.

I am going to tell my sister tonight. She was 21 when she 1st got pregnant (she was engaged though...) and I know she would never, ever change having my niece. She is actually expecting another next month! This time a boy. She is very excited. Even though she is married and has that help, they don't make much money and I know if they can afford 2 kids, I could afford just one.

And as for my boyfriend. That's going to be the hardest part. He is going to freak out. I have already made up my mind that the decision is mine, but I need to tell him. I am kinda more worried about telling HIS parents rather than mine...because MY parents will support me emotionally no matter what, but HIS parents...I don't know how they will react...if I decide to keep it & we don't stay together...what will they think?? What if I decide to keep it, we stay together, but don't get married? What will they think? Also, what if he feels he HAS to marry me, but really doesn't WANT to? That's no way to start a marriage-- let alone a family...

Again, thank you so much for your replies. I have really found something special here that is going to help me through this.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #10  
March 9th, 2006, 03:22 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,258
I'm 20 years old and I'm due in Sept.. And trust me honey I'm scared you-know-what less... I think everyone is. Someone told me when I got pregnant if everyone woman waited until she was emotionally ready, physically ready, and finanically ready.. no one would ever have children and the world would end... And I agree with that. This will be my first child also.. I am married but you never know what could happen in the future so all us ladies have to think about 'What if?' I know raising a child alone won't be easy at all.. But I think you'll do just fine. If you ever want to talk feel more than free to message me. I know I'm young or whatever but I feel just as scared as you do too!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
March 9th, 2006, 04:44 PM
Mommy2B&R's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Green Bay, WI
Posts: 2,636
Hi there lab_girl.....
My daughter was unexpected and unplanned as well. My husband and I were only 19 & 21 when we found out that we were pregnant. We had gotten married the month before, and had all of these things planned that we wanted to do before we had babies. Well, someone else had a different plan for us.

I can say that I've been on both sides of the fence in your situation. When I was 18 I did have an abortion of a guy's baby that I dated in high school. I regret it every day.... especially now that I have my precious Bella in my life. When we found out that we were pregnant with Bella, we tossed around the idea of terminating the pregnancy (we were scared of genetic disorders....but that's another story)... or putting her up for adoption because we were too young and not ready (ha! is anyone!?)... but in the end we decided to keep her and raise her together.

I know that your situation with your boyfriend is incredibly hard. It was very hard to tell my exboyfriend that I was pregnant, too. He wanted me to have an abortion and told me that if I didn't he would leave me. Well, turns out that after I had it, he left me anyway, because he said he couldn't believe I would do that. (*what an *****!). anyway.....

Trust me, if I can do it.... YOU can do it. My husband and I live on $13/hour... and I stay at home with Bella. We own our home so we have a HUGE mortgage payment and debt up that whazoo!!! but we manage. It's hard, but you CAN do it. and trust me, the reward is something you could never imagine unless you do it. You will NEVER love anyone as much as you love your little one.

Good luck and keep us posted.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #13  
March 9th, 2006, 09:06 PM
MJONES's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,734
I am 27 too, and am due with my 3rd child. I was not married w/my first at 18 and was also scared but made it. I ended up working 2 jobs and raising him myself until I married my DH. I think everyone is scared but in the end you just do what you need too and it all falls into place. Like the other girls said, we are all here for you too.
__________________








Ethan Hunter, Ava Madison, Achilles Ryan





Sept 2, 2006
Reply With Quote
  #14  
March 10th, 2006, 02:30 AM
gtsscott's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 295
I agree with everyone else.

I am also 27 (28 in October ) and I have 2, one on the way and a 13 year old step-daughter.

You can do it! People say that having a child is hard....some days it is and some days it isn't but everyday is one you will never forget.

Take time to talk to your partner and see where he stands talk to your family especially your sister.

All the best.
__________________
Proud to be an Aussie Mum



Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:59 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0