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I started today feeling completely alone.


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
August 13th, 2009, 04:22 PM
SerendipitysChild's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 978
I am 28 years old, divorced with one daughter who is nearly 4 and my entire world!! I was starting to date a guy who'm I had known as a friend for months and we were getting along wonderfully. That all changed the day I found out I was pregnant. I have always been told that conceiving would be very hard for me (my munchkin is a little miracle) PLUS I was on the pill so it came as quite a shock. Looooong story short (too late lol) I was going to terminate for his sake because he did not want it but I was told by the clinic that I had to wait till I was 5 weeks along so I had to wait 2 weeks and as that time passed I became attatched to this life!! I told the father that I did not want to terminate and he came unglued. Now I am 6 weeks and I've told him he can walk away and I don't want anything from him. He has seemingly decided to stay but is now very angry and resentful of me. He is constantly making rude comments and acts as if I am a total scumbag. Oh joy! JUST what a pregnant gal needs eh?

I was feeling completely alone and then stumbled onto this site, I can't tell you how comforting it is to see other ladies in the same boat as me! Thank you JustMommies and all the Moms out there!

I would love to hear other stories from the ladies without a supportive partner! Even if we do not have a father there, we have each other!

I am due April 8th
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  #2  
August 13th, 2009, 04:29 PM
JT_Mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,978
I am sorry you are going through this. My baby's father wanted me to get an abortion, but he is coming around. We had only been dating a couple months then broken up when I got pregnant, so our situation was a little different. I gave him the option of not being involved too, and he has chosen to be a father to our baby. We are not together, but we gave it a go... and are remaining friends, going to childbirth classes together and are going to try our hardest to raise our son in a healthy situation.

I hope your guy comes around, or chooses to let you raise the baby alone so you don't have the stress of his negativity.

I have been feeling alone lately too... it is a tough situation to be in, some days are better than others and I know at the end of this, i will have a wonderful little person in my life, that is what keeps me going!
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  #3  
August 13th, 2009, 06:28 PM
SerendipitysChild's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 978
Hi TC

I read about your situation in another thread and it was word for word what I told my baby's father. He can go and I will not ask him for anything but if I got the abortion he wanted me to have it would have wrecked me for the rest of my life. There were plenty of logical reasons not to keep this baby but at the end of the day, logic cannot override the heart. As angry and bitter and cruel as he is being to me I can't possibly imagine that the pain it causes would come anywhere close to the pain I would feel if I ended this little life.
I am so happy to hear that your guy came around about the idea being a parent. For me, being a parent is not at all frightening because I am already a Mom. You are definitely right when you say men just get scared and freak out!!
Who ever said women are delicate creatures never had to watch a girl tell a fella they were pregnant!! :-P
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Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans!

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  #4  
August 14th, 2009, 05:14 AM
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 20
I'm sorry to hear that SerendipitysChild! But, we women ARE strong, resilient, and good at sisterly bonds (and such!).

I was just curious, but how does your boyfriend get along with your current little girl? Because, it seems to me, that if he likes you, your daughter, and is making an effort of sticking around, maybe he just needs the time to have everything settle in! (*crosses fingers for you*).

I'm (hopefully) not pregnant and, therefore have nothing to go on yet, but I (possibly) could be and this is a big concern of mine as well ... how my boyfriend would handle the news as, if I am pregnant, I have no intention of getting rid of it.
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  #5  
August 14th, 2009, 08:26 AM
lilflower
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Right now my baby's father wants nothing to do with having this child. And I can understand his point, but my point is also valid.
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  #6  
August 14th, 2009, 01:03 PM
JT_Mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,978
Yes, I don't regret my decision to have the baby at all! And, I know I would always regret it if I had an abortion. I wish things had worked out with the Dad, but I know I will be okay on my own. The most important thing to me is that he is there for his son, which I am positive he will be.

I am really hoping your guy comes around... but, I think you are making the right decision regardless.
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  #7  
August 15th, 2009, 08:28 AM
MamaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 8,300
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

If your 'boyfriend' is treating you like crap, you do have the option of letting him go. I would sit down and have a serious talk with him. Let him know you'd like to work things out but if he can't be supportive and treat you with respect than he has no place in your life- but is welcome to be involved in your baby's life when he or she is born (and if he refuses I'd consider suing for child support, since raising children is not cheap and as noble as it is to 'not want or expect anything from him'', he is the father and both of you made this child and he or she will want and need things that you both should provide for- and it isn't really about or for you, it's for the child you created together.)

I wish you the best of luck.
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Last edited by MamaRN; August 15th, 2009 at 08:30 AM.
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