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Ok...not trying to be super mean, but someone said your hubby doesn't sound very nice....neither of you do to me. I was sitting here thinking the whole time...why does he have to have your permission to have a bike. My husband certainly wouldn't. You sound like you're being very controlling...you decide if he can even know about the baby...you decide if he's mature enough to stay home, you decide if he can buy a bike. Sounds like you need to let your husband be an equal partner. I'm wondering how often he has to sit and listen about how much more money you make, etc.
It's not like deciding what birth control to use...it's too late for that one, the baby is here. I say deal with it. How would you ever be able to explain that to the baby you already have?
Also as far as the spanking and stuff.. let me say, I'm not a spanker, but my parents were and I'm not dead. Unless you think he's a pedophile or something, I believe your out of line keeping him from watching his own child. That's his parenting philosophy. The time to have found out about that was way before you have a baby, and another on the way.
Hope your situation works out for the best.
Just lurking - but if you do talk to your husband and both of you decide not to keep the baby - please look into adoption. There are all diff. types of adoptions: ones where you choose the family, closed adoption, etc. I think this baby deserves a chance at life. Look at all of the things your 14 month old enjoys or the things you enjoy..don't you want that for this baby? I believe you are pregnant for a reason...like you said - no sex life, on birth control, and your advanced maternal age...what are the odds? Maybe this baby has a true purpose for you and your family..maybe it will do wonders for your relationship or maybe it will bless a loving family that longs for a child they cannot have. Please discuss this with your husband and I wish you the best of luck!