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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
March 29th, 2006, 09:49 AM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
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i was just wondering what everyone thinks..do you consider me a homewrecker? so heres what has been going on and how it all started..three years ago i was in a chat room and my now boyfriend instant messaged me and we kept talking..i wasnt really interested in him but thought we could be good friends and him being 15+ years older then me with a kid (also living with his daughter mother) i thought it would never work out..but a friendship would never hurt...well so a couple of months passed by and i still wasnt really interested in him so much that i wanted to go out with him i barely new him!..well he wanted to meet but i kept putting it off (for like a year i did!) and we pretty much kept in touch online and the phone (funny thing is he lived not even 10 mins away!) so over that year i started to like him and gave him my address and he would send me cards and stuff animals and even put a stuff animal at my door one night ..so we finally met up (he was still living with his daughters mother- but said he was only there so that he could be there for his daughter) and everything went great and he gave me a kiss on the cheek before leaving..so the next day we were talking and well he doesnt have the greatest hearing but his girlfriend(should i say girlfriend or daughters mother? i dont no what she was really) was listening to him talk and he was telling me how he had a fun time talking and i was cute and bla bla bla and she caught him!..she started yelling when we were on the phone and he said hell talk to me later and hung up..i didnt no what to think..so she ends up kicking him out because she didnt want him talking to other girls and a couple of weeks we started going out...i no this is three years ago but i cant help but think that all the problems he is having with his ex girlfriend to see his daughter is because of me.. am i homewrecker? he did tell me that they were over but he never really told her he was just living there to be with his daughter...i always felt bad but i cant change the past...what to u guys think??
i told one of my close friends how everything all started(she wanted to no!) and she said i was a homewrecker
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  #2  
March 29th, 2006, 10:50 AM
nat81
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Does it really matter now? If the fact that your friend told you this and it bothers you maybe you should tell her that. I guess you can't be 100% sure of what your bf's status was with his now daughter's mother at the time, so I would just leave it at that!
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  #3  
March 29th, 2006, 11:12 AM
Wendie
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I would have to say that you are not a homewrecker. It sounds like you weren't sure what was going on with this guy and his ex or whatever she was. I dated a married guy a while back before I was married, but I had no clue he was married. He lived three states away and would come to IL several weeks out of the year for his job. We started dating, and one night I called to make sure he made it home safely. His wife answered the phone and everything came out. She divorced him over it, but I don't think I'm a homewrecker. And, it sounds like you were just caught in a confusing situation. Plus, like the other lady said, does it matter now. Its been a long time. You should focus on the more positive things now. I'm sorry that your friend was so rude.
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  #4  
March 29th, 2006, 11:12 AM
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without trying to make you feel bad, if you hadn't of come along, he would have probably met someone else, and gotten kicked out anyway. He wasn't in a happy relationship and in his mind, it was over and he was just there for his daughter. So this isn't in anyway your fault. And you're not a homewrecker. He would have moved out sooner or later, so don't sweat it. And just think, three years later and you two are still together! That's pretty impressive! It's not like you were just some one night stand for him! It was love!!! tihi!
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  #5  
March 29th, 2006, 11:36 AM
ashley *'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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if it wasn't you, it would have been somebody else. I think a homewrecker is someone who breaks up a happy home. Their's obviously wasn't the happiest. And it isn't your fault he's having problems seeing his daughter, some women are just maniacs that way. My father is a good father, even though he gets on my last ###### nerve, and we haven't seen my little sister since she was 3, and she'll be seven in a few days. Some ladies are just crazy.

OT - just thought it was wierd how JM #'d out the d wordin my post..lol
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  #6  
March 29th, 2006, 11:37 AM
*Cassie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think you are a homewrecker at all! He would have left sooner or later anyways, like BigPotBelly said!! He even said he was only there for his daughter, so it's not like you were breaking up a happy relationship. Besides, you didn't do anything wrong! He decided he wanted to be with you, and he made his choice all by himself! I think it's dang impressive that you've been together for 3 years!!! It isn't your fault that he has problems with seeing his daughter, his ex is just being bitter. I'm sorry what your friend said hurt your feelings... that was a rude thing to say!
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  #7  
March 29th, 2006, 01:55 PM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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you guys are right im def not going to let it bother me!..thanks a bunch!..
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  #8  
March 30th, 2006, 06:05 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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YOu weren't in the relationship, he was...so you didn't break it up, he did through his actions.
So he's a homewrecker j/k

LIke the girls said, he wasn't happy in that relationship and it was a matter of time.

Plus, you guys are having a baby now and you're happy. Don't worry about it, people pass judgement without thinking.
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  #9  
April 1st, 2006, 09:11 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Southern Tier NY
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I would say he is the homewrecker. Also guys just don't stick around for their kids unless they are getting something out of it. She obviously would not have had a problem with him talking to another girl, if she didn't think they were going out.
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  #10  
April 1st, 2006, 09:35 AM
Lekilig86's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Charlotte, NC (until April 11th)
Posts: 776
Quote:
i was just wondering what everyone thinks..do you consider me a homewrecker? so heres what has been going on and how it all started..three years ago i was in a chat room and my now boyfriend instant messaged me and we kept talking..i wasnt really interested in him but thought we could be good friends and him being 15+ years older then me with a kid (also living with his daughter mother) i thought it would never work out..but a friendship would never hurt...well so a couple of months passed by and i still wasnt really interested in him so much that i wanted to go out with him i barely new him!..well he wanted to meet but i kept putting it off (for like a year i did!) and we pretty much kept in touch online and the phone (funny thing is he lived not even 10 mins away!) so over that year i started to like him and gave him my address and he would send me cards and stuff animals and even put a stuff animal at my door one night ..so we finally met up (he was still living with his daughters mother- but said he was only there so that he could be there for his daughter) and everything went great and he gave me a kiss on the cheek before leaving..so the next day we were talking and well he doesnt have the greatest hearing but his girlfriend(should i say girlfriend or daughters mother? i dont no what she was really) was listening to him talk and he was telling me how he had a fun time talking and i was cute and bla bla bla and she caught him!..she started yelling when we were on the phone and he said hell talk to me later and hung up..i didnt no what to think..so she ends up kicking him out because she didnt want him talking to other girls and a couple of weeks we started going out...i no this is three years ago but i cant help but think that all the problems he is having with his ex girlfriend to see his daughter is because of me.. am i homewrecker? he did tell me that they were over but he never really told her he was just living there to be with his daughter...i always felt bad but i cant change the past...what to u guys think??
i told one of my close friends how everything all started(she wanted to no!) and she said i was a homewrecker[/b]
Well i will be as bluntly honest as i can with you. You are 50% responsible for that mess....the other 50% belongs to him though. Thats what i believe...homewreckers...i mean, i don't really believe that one person is solely responsible. So take that off your shoulders and don't worry about the past...its over now. Although, a man who does these things, i have to say, is not a trustworthy person. I can't imagine you trusting him from the get go Once you hear he is living with his g/f and his children...that should be a do not pass go sign for anyone. I would be very much careful for the future (you're still with him?) because he sounds very irresponsible and untrustworthy. the past is the past though...things change..but its not a good way to start off your relationship with him, JMO....And flings that happen in such a way like that, tend not to last forever, If u KWIM?
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  #11  
April 4th, 2006, 04:53 PM
Meg-O's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
without trying to make you feel bad, if you hadn't of come along, he would have probably met someone else, and gotten kicked out anyway. He wasn't in a happy relationship and in his mind, it was over and he was just there for his daughter. So this isn't in anyway your fault. And you're not a homewrecker. He would have moved out sooner or later, so don't sweat it. And just think, three years later and you two are still together! That's pretty impressive! It's not like you were just some one night stand for him! It was love!!! tihi![/b]

Ditto.

Your situation is much like mine.

He was married... I was married... We were both unhappy.

In his ex's mind, they were goin to try to work it out again... in his... they were'nt.

I made it easier for him to make that decision... as he made it easier for me to leave my husband.

She gives him ##### about it and makes it hard for him to see his son... but you shouldn't feel bad... she's the one being a $hitty person by caring more about retribution than her child's need for her father.

Megan
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