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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
November 30th, 2009, 03:19 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 7
Guess I belong here,

I split with the guy I was seeing about a month ago last Thursday I wasn't feeling right so i took a test it was positive so i bought a more expensive test to be sure and that was positive too I am booked in to see the doctor tomorrow, Ive told the father but hes told me he would prefer me to get a abortion and do things properly with someone who loves me (thanks shows how much i meant to him) but if I do decide to keep it he will support me BUT my sister has since told me he has been trying to chat her up on facebook my sister is disabled and has little understanding but he was saying stuff about me which he shouldn't and stuff like I wish I got with you instead of your sister what a "%%££^E££ arrgh I am so angry so anyway the day after all this i got a phone call from him asking me why id told my sister about the baby he actually sounded upset! Anyway I told him to get lost and I've not heard from him since, Ive told my best friend and my mum and grandma since and they all think I shouldn't keep the baby because of the way he is also I live with my grandma and she wants me to leave if I keep it because of the shame of me having no boyfriend I cant afford to rent anywhere as I only have a temporary part time job so I pretty much screwed I guess
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  #2  
November 30th, 2009, 03:43 PM
frugality=reality
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Posts: n/a
If you don't feel comfortable with abortion, how do you feel about adoption? It could be an opportunity for you to help a couple longing for a child...

Can I ask where you live and how old you are? I know you said you only work part time, but depending on where you are there may be assistance you could apply for.


Good luck! I am unexpectedly pregnant (married, but it was unexpected nonetheless), and I know it's tough. I still kind of want to give this baby up for adoption, but my husband isn't open to that...

If you desperately don't want an abortion, don't let anyone force you to do it: your body, your decision. Again-good luck!
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  #3  
November 30th, 2009, 04:07 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 7
Im not sure i could handle adoption tbh

im 22 from England there probably is help but everything takes so long over here

Your lucky to have a husband, thanks for the advice
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  #4  
November 30th, 2009, 04:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: southern cali
Posts: 3,365
bless your heart, dani. my advice to you is to really sit on this for a while and consider your options before you do something you might be forever regretting. you have time. i also concur with the adoption suggestion -- why should a child have to die becuase it's parent (him) is a loser and can't man-up when its needed? i have been in your situation (slightly different, i was raped), at a similar age too (many years ago). i chose to keep my child and it was the right decision for me. check into options you have in your country and programs available. just don't rush to a final decision. keep you chin up and pm me if i can help.
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speak with kindness....

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  #5  
November 30th, 2009, 06:17 PM
frugality=reality
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by xDanix View Post
Im not sure i could handle adoption tbh


Your lucky to have a husband, thanks for the advice

It's something to consider if you don't wish to abort.

It's debatable whether I'm lucky or not. Usually, not.
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  #6  
November 30th, 2009, 06:24 PM
frugality=reality
Guest
Posts: n/a
PS. I had my first two while single. It was tough, but it's doable.
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  #7  
December 2nd, 2009, 10:59 AM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Hurley, WI
Posts: 8,572
I think I lurk too much.. I may or may not be on this board within the week. I haven't tested yet but if I am it will have been unplanned.

I just wanted to add that even if it takes a long time, apply for the assistance. Sometimes things are bumped up to the top of the list for pregnant women. I know with some programs in Minnesota you can get assistance during the time they're processing your application. Better to get some help and take some of the stress away rather than dealing with it all by yourself.

I'm sorry you're going through this with very littler support. Is there something in your area like Birth Right or Planned Parenthood? Sometimes those types of organizations can assist you with counseling to help you make decisions. I totally agree with the other ladies that if you don't want to do something, you shouldn't.
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  #8  
December 2nd, 2009, 01:56 PM
rubyredslipperz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Needles, CA
Posts: 3,231
I'm sorry you're going through that! I agree with the others, that you shouldnt be pushed into an abortion. And IDK about England but in most states over here if you're pregnant you usually get something like emergency assistance until your application is processed, and those apps for pregnant moms are usually put at the top of the list because your condition is time sensitive and they want baby to have the proper care. It's something worth looking into. My family was upset about me being pregnant at such a young age, but they came around. A lot of ladies I hear where the family was against it, eventually came around. If you can't seem to do adoption that's understandable. Just know that at least with adoption the baby has a chance to live on.. you don't get that with abortion. The choice is up to you though. GL and kup!
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  #9  
December 2nd, 2009, 03:40 PM
3and_justme's Avatar super special mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: ohio
Posts: 821
I am a single pregnant mom too, and it is a scarey road, but not everyone can have a child & be thankful that you have this opportunity... this baby was givien to you for a reason... and though you face alot of uncertainities, know that there is programs out there that will help you make it through - with medical, with financial needs, food - you just have to do your research to see what is available in you area... I child can bring you alot of happiness & will love you unconditionally - life gives us good times & bad but there is always a way to make it thru... I have a babys dad that is not with me anymore he's chose to be with another woman now that I have his baby on the way & as heartbreaking that is for me, I know this lil baby inside of me brings me more joy than he ever could!! Feeling him move inside of me, watching my belly wiggle when he moves & seein him on the ultrasounds are some of the greatest things to get me thru until my lil one is here for me to hold & love once he's born... You have to do what is best, but do some research, some soul searching before you make any decisions... Best wishes ~ Kim
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  #10  
December 6th, 2009, 02:33 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 7
I still cant make up my mind what to do being pulled in two directions, I feel pretty ill I was weighed at the doctors a few days ago im stll underweight recovering from major weight loss at beginning of this year maybe thats why, im so tired my head hurts with all this
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  #11  
December 6th, 2009, 03:34 PM
Holdens Mommy <3
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 1,152
My pregnancy was completely unplanned, the father has his own family, I still live at home, and i only work part time too. But let it sink in a little and then make a decision. Everything happens for a reason hun. But make sure your decision is 100% yours, dont let other people influence your decision.
Good luck!
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Holden James 7.28.10
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  #12  
December 6th, 2009, 10:56 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 112
Think twice before making any hasty decisions...

If you feel your future life would be secured with this baby then go ahead...

Being single at this point of time is really difficult.....

Rely on someone whom you trust more than you....
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