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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
April 9th, 2006, 11:58 AM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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im starting to get really annoyed when i see a PREGNANT person smoking..i mean dont they realize what there doing? do they even care? i mean cant they at least try to give smoking up for their babys sake? i was with my boyfriend and i seen a pregnant lady smoking cig after cig its like geez give it a break...what also annoys me is when people think its ok to hold a newborn and smoke!! these people r driving me nuts..does anyone else feel the way i feel about this?? i dont smoke (nor does boyfriend) but i wouldnt want my son to grow up and start smoking its not cool nor cute...
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  #3  
April 9th, 2006, 12:17 PM
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My fiance is a product of a smoking mom.
Poor thing....he was asthmatic and his mother WOULD NOT STOP SMOKING.

I think it's horrible. I'm right there with you.

Plus, you would think such a strong smell would make a woman want to vomit, but i guess they're bodies are so addicted to it it just doesn't matter
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  #5  
April 9th, 2006, 12:56 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Plus, you would think such a strong smell would make a woman want to vomit, but i guess they're bodies are so addicted to it it just doesn't matter[/b]
well personally i have found myself "craving" a cig... if you can call it a craving. i know that it is because of how long i smoked for, and i always avoid the smell now (in part because i dont want to want to smoke but mostly because i am pregnant.) it is very hard to quit a habit like that esp. if you have been doing it a long time. i worry that the father's (or at least the guy that i want to be the father) mother will smoke around the baby. i know that the guy respects me enough not to smoke around me... but i have not been around his mother since i found out i was preggers.
[/b]
You know, I talked to my fiance about that and I told him that if she wants to see her grandkids then she's going to have to put her cigarette out.
The kids will also not be spending the night at her house b/c she smokes in the house.
She's going to miss out a lot b/c of that nasty habit.
But I can't risks my kid's health
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  #7  
April 9th, 2006, 01:46 PM
irishxrose
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I'm a smoker. And yes, I am pregnant. I was a heavy smoker when I found out I was pregnant, and I have cut down tremondously. Since you've never been a smoker, you really can't understand how hard it is to quit. I'm trying my hardest to quit before he's born. It's hard too because my fiance smokes as well, and he has this stupid idea that until I can resist the temptation he's going to keep smoking. It's stupid, but I can't seem to change his mind. He doesn't understand the fact that every time he smokes around me, I want one. And he doesn't resist me either. He just hands one over.

I'm sorry that you feel so annoyed, but you have to realize that it's an addiction, and a very serious one at that. I've tried multiple times to quit, and each time I'd go a few weeks, and then I'd start again. I HATE IT. I feel so weak because I can't quit for my health and my baby's health. I've been smoking for four years, and I was a heavy smoker for most of that time, like a pack and a half a day. Now I'm done to one or two a day if that. I just can't seem to drop it. You have no idea how much I hate myself for it. I know people look down on me for it. But most of them have never been smokers and could never understand the harsh reality of the addiction.

I do realize what I'm doing, and I DO care. It's a physical and mental addiction that is very hard to break. I've tried to quit, and I'm going to keep trying. I decided last night again that I would quit. Hopefully I can make it this time.
  #8  
April 9th, 2006, 01:58 PM
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But see, Andrika, you're at least attempting to stop. And I agree, it is hard to quit when you're so addicted, but it's good to see you're making an attempt. Many parents out there don't even try.

His mom never ever ever tried. And he was in the hopsital pretty much three days a week at the hospital b/c of his asthma.
Plus, I have a gene deletion, so I can't fight off cancer. Therefore, I can't expose myself to smoking plus, I don't know if my kids will have the same problem.

Oh, yeah~when we first started dating he had to tell her to stop smoking around me. So he did stand up to her.

Well, then hopefully you can get sole custody Jdh. Which by the way, a little tip for many of you ladies:
I live in Ga and the father has no rights to a child if you are not married unless the child has been legitamized. Even if they've signed the birth certificate.
Check out what the law is in your state, b/c you may have sole custody w/out even knowing.
Just so you know And even if he has not legitimized your child, I believe you can still get child support

So really Jdh, technically he may not HAVE to stay in the house, maybe the dad can come over to YOUR place to make his visits
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  #9  
April 9th, 2006, 02:08 PM
NCMomma2BE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I too was a heavy smoker pre-pregnancy and my fiance and I both quit the day I found out. It was one of the hardest things we've ever done. It came in stages, at first we both really wanted a smoke, but we knew it was best for baby, then it got easier after about two months. I thought we were in the clear as far as kicking the habit for good, but unfortunately I was wrong. March 15th I smoked a cig and since then I have been having one here and there. I told my doc about it and she said to me "I know first hand how hard it is to quit, and I give you alot of credit for not smoking throughout your first and second trimesters.." Then she went on to tell me that she of course is not encouraging smoking, but she said "Most women who smoke during pregnancy, go on to have very healthy babies, but there is still a chance that something could happen" She said that my baby is BIG which is good because smoking can cause a smaller baby.

I obviously don't condone smoking, but like the poster above me said, it is an extremely hard habit to break and there is also a chance that drinking a cup of coffee while pregnant can harm the baby along with eating fish and many many other things.
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  #10  
April 9th, 2006, 02:12 PM
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Yeah its not good at all, its unhealthy, its taking a huge chance...HUGE.
I quit smoking when i found out i was pregnant, and it was hard, i still think about them but i don't pick one up ever. My b/f and my father both had moms who smoked while pregnant with them. I haven't seen any lung problems in them but b/f seems to have chest pains and my dad has had some heart problems in his later years. Don't know if thats from smoking but its not good to take a chance. The baby can become premature and they've linked smoking to miscarriage which doesn't surprise me. Hopefully the women you're seeing smoke only did it that one time or don't do it anymore. In the very least lets hope they only do it occassionally. the more you smoke the worse it gets.
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  #11  
April 9th, 2006, 02:21 PM
mom2LyricStoryLegend's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Popping in from Feb 06 playroom. I can't stand seeing pregnant women smoking. I do understand as irishxrose said that it is an addiction, however, I know a girl who had an unplanned pregnancy and all through her pregnancy, she smoked. I never felt like she was trying to quit becuase she kept giving all these excuses like if she quits the baby will go through withdrawl and that her doctor didn't want her to quit cold turkey and all this other BS. But then she went and planned her second baby and got pregnant and still kept smoking. To me, I felt like she should have tried to stop smoking first before getting pregnant since the second baby was planned.
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  #12  
April 9th, 2006, 05:28 PM
mommytutu's Avatar mom to Emma & Jacqueline
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I've never really one to judge, but that is the one thing that ticks me off.

I just don't understand how people can feel so careless about their childs life. I understand that it is an addiction, but I would imagine your babies health is good incentive to quit!

The worst thing about it is I have done everything perfect with this pregnancy. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs. I eat healthy, exercised (before bedrest) and drank plenty of water. Yet, I'm still having problems, and I am expected to deliver around 36 weeks! Then here are these women who are just smoking away, not even thinking twice about it, and they have perfectly healthy pregnancies, and babies.
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  #13  
April 9th, 2006, 06:48 PM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i didnt mean to offend anyone! i give u and everyone else that tries to stop a TON of credit...im mainly talking about the ones that dont care and dont even try to stop..i no its hard to stop i have 95 percent of my family that are smokers and i no its hard...im mianly annoyed by people(well that lady) the kept taking cig after cig..it wouldnt of bothered me as much if it was one but again didnt wanna offend anyone and i give u tons of credit for even attempting to stop
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  #14  
April 9th, 2006, 07:12 PM
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I think that if people want to smoke, its their choice.. I don't think its right for a girl to smoke when she's pregnant, or for anyone to smoke around her. My mom smokes, and it really bothers me.. She tried to smoke around my daughter, I told her to either get out of the car, or we would.. I don't want my daughter exposed to anything like that, same goes for my boyfriend's mother's drinking (but that's another issue).. I understand its hard to quit, but I still think that if someone REALLY has the willpower to do it, they can.. There are programs and there are people who can help you, if your boyfriend or parent or whatever isn't helping, stand up to them cause you're never going to quit if that continues.

Not trying to offend anyone here, just stating my opinion
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  #15  
April 9th, 2006, 07:45 PM
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Andrika,
I understand completely how you feel. I smoked about a pack and a half a day before I found out I was pregnant, and it was hard as hell to quit. At first I cut down to about 3 or 4 a day and then I went cold turkey. My fiance smokes all the time, so I understand how much you want to smoke when he's sitting there doing it. (And no my fiance won't quit smoking). One day we got into an arguement and I stole a cigarette from him (b/c he yelled at me even when I smoked the 3 or 4 a day when I was trying to quit) and started smoking the cigarette. Well after about 2 drags I started vomiting, so ever since then I haven't even tried to smoke one. Smoking is a very hard habit to break. And nobody should look down on your for smoking every once in a while. Now I do agree with what the others were saying though about those ladies that chain smoke in public and they're pregnant. But at least you've cut down and that's all that anyone can really ask of you!
Northcutt2Be
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  #16  
April 9th, 2006, 08:26 PM
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as soon as i got pregnant with my daughter and my pregnancy was confirmed i quit cold turkey. i was also a heavy smoker and it would pee me off when i saw women heavily pregnant smoking. now i cant stand the smell after being smoke free for a year.
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  #17  
April 9th, 2006, 09:24 PM
Star's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Similar to what Heidi1 said, my boyfriends mom hasn't seen me since we told her I was pregnant, over two months ago. The day we told her, her and her boyfriend were lighting up right in front of me.... that's great if you want to kill yourself early, but don't involve me and the baby.

The really irritating part is that she doesn't work, so she'd be perfect to watch the baby (instead of paying full price for child care).
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  #18  
April 9th, 2006, 11:15 PM
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Hey popping in here from TTC board. Irish, just thought that i'd mention that most doctors will tell you that for people who have been smoking for a long time, they say sometimes it's best to not stop cold turkey while pregnant. That the stress and sudden withdrawl your body goes through is just as bad for the baby as smoking. So don't feel so bad about having one or two every now and again. You're trying to quit, and that's what's important. The fact that you've already cut back so dramatically is great, and you should be proud-it's a hard addiction to quit. Best of luck!
  #19  
April 10th, 2006, 05:50 AM
*Cassie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh that makes me mad!! My cousin and my BF's sister both had babies in the last year, both are smokers and continued right through their pregnancy. It drove me absolutely nutty! Even now, they have a little baby in the house, you would think they could go outside. Ugh!! Drives me mad!
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  #20  
April 10th, 2006, 10:17 AM
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My doctor told me the same thing that Lily'sMom was talking about. He said that quitting cold turkey could be harder on the baby. So I just cut back and then finally went cold turkey.
My fiance still smokes but he's already been clearly informed (about 100 times) that he WILL NOT smoke in our house after the baby is born. I absolutely hate that! My aunt watches my cousin's two kids and she smokes like 2 packs a day right in front of them. It's very frustrating.
Northcutt2Be
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