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It was Sept 9/10th and I was asleep in my bed. I woke up to being taken advantage of by my ex bf. I told him no but he never was the type of guy to listen. I'm not the type of girl that knows how to stick up for herself... I guess having so many people look out for me my whole life I never learned how.
After I found out I was pregnant I also found out that it was from that time and that time alone that I had conceived. I expressed to him my anger. He cried a lot, telling me how sorry he was. Thats how he is tho, he cries a lot. Probably from all the drugs he is always taking...
A little bit more background info is that I am married. We were separated over the summer because he had cheated on me and I couldn't take it. It wasn't the first time and I was sure it wouldn't be the last. Since then he has convinced me to come back and this is his last chance. The deal sealer is that he is willing to be here for me and support me and this baby that is not his. We've been talking about being together again since a day or two before the rape... and we've been officially back together and trying to work on things since a few days before xmas.
Anyways I found out a month or two back that the dirt bag ex planned the whole rape. He wanted to try to knock me up so that he would have to always be in my life. He didn't exactly think it would work but he was desperate. He knew I was talking to my husband again and was going psycho...
These are the things that make you realize how effed up the world can be. These are the things I never thought could happen to me.
...but then you stop and you realize what you have and you make the best out of things. I'm 19 weeks and some days it hurts but not nearly as much as in the beginning. I am happy for my little miracle... no matter how he/she got there.
i want you to know that almost 32 years ago, i too was raped, in similar fashion as you, and became pregnant. the father was never involved although paid child support. my child is now going to turn 31 in a few weeks and has been a blessing to me from the word go. i have never had issue with being reminded of his conception. i just loved him becuase he was mine and did my best to raise him equally to my other children (he was the oldest). i wish you well on this journey!
__________________ what goes around, comes around.....
speak with kindness....
I just wanted to add my story and hope that it is helpful to you!!! I had just gotten divorced but my exHusband and I still live together to raise our daughter. I met a guy and started dating him, I was on the pill but still found myself pregnant and when I told him about it he flipped completely out. He wanted me to terminate and I was going too but then I knew that I would never be able to go through with it and told him after a couple of weeks that I was keeping the baby but he could walk away with no word from me if he wanted too. He chose to stick around but became VERY verbally abusive, I stuck with it because I thought that was the right thing to do and because, like you, I have never really stood up for myself. Finally things got so bad that he started threatening my life and the life of my unborn son and I got out. I filed a report with the police and got a protection order, he fought the order in court with a big wig lawyer but I held my own and won the order all by myself. It was empowering to finally stand up for my son and myself and say No More! My exHusband and I are now working towards a reconciliation and he will be there for me and my son. I am proud of you for keeping your baby, it is a tough situation but you will never regret your child!! With that decision you have proved to yourself that you are strong!!!
Good Luck and if you need anything feel free to PM me!! This board and my DDC have been my backbone through a very difficult time and the same will be true for you!! Good Luck!!!
Mariah (29), Mommy to Autumn! (4) and Elijah, Born April 1st! Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans!
I am doing well, I've so far chickened out with going to see a lawyer.
I dont know why. I'm just so stressed with everything else going on in my life it just seems so unimportant to me. I have my husband to support me in any way that I need him. Right now... I just don't want to worry about court and BS like that... I know I may regret it in the future but I don't know... just can't seem to get up enough courage when it comes right down to it.
I was wondering though if this ex BF has any claim on the baby as legally the baby belongs to your current husband. (Granted it may depend on the state you live in and as your DH is in the Army your state of residence)