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  #1  
February 21st, 2010, 02:19 PM
conley1988
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I decided that I needed to talk to ladies who were going through what I was because my due date group wouldn't be of much help, why is that...because we all gave birth about two or three months ago. I was in the December 2009 due date club but my daughter was born November 29th. After my bleeding stopped in January I went to see my doctor and the Paraguard. I was having some second thoughts because of the benefits the Mirena offered and other things and decided to go ahead and switch, etc...here's the link to the post announcing that.

http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...g-serious.html

Well, we tested that friday and nothing came about. We waited 6 days and called our doctor and she had me come in this pass thursday and called us friday to tell us that was positive.

My fiance and I just got done talking and he me to keep it, but feels like now just isn't the time in the same since. He would prefer that I have the abortion, so much for his Pro-Choice attitude a couple of days ago. Well, I am a Christian and don't want too, but I am also 21 with 4 children. Two being born last year (1/5/09, 11/29/2009). My doctor thinks she can get medical clearance since it would be alot on my body to have 3 in under 18 months basically and because of my trying to prevent it, she really felt bad.

I am not decided and no idea what to do. I mean I have four, I am getting married in a couple of months, getting a house soon, and in college. Its hard enough with the four and little one is not easy.
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  #2  
February 21st, 2010, 03:34 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
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Well...look at your little ones, and pretend one of them doesn't exist...

It's hard to do that....but next year, when you are looking at your family of 5 beautiful children, struggling or not, you'll wonder how you could have ever thought of aborting.

btdt, and it's not easy to live with, hon

Wishing you peace

Heather
Mommy to 6
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  #3  
February 21st, 2010, 05:32 PM
conley1988
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That is another big piece, so have I. I know what I go through now and although I fell numb, it hurts. I feel numb because thinking of it hurts, even though I had no control because it was my mothers decision, it was just as hard. I can't imagine doing it, but I don't want to lose my family either. Five kids and one mom or four kids and family is my thought and it hurts.
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  #4  
February 21st, 2010, 05:47 PM
Jodi Dawn's Avatar Host of the Jan-July 05 P
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even if you and your BF split I am sure you will manage to make it work being a single mother. maybe check out the closely spaced siblings board to get some more insight.
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Last edited by Jodi Dawn; February 22nd, 2010 at 04:05 PM.
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  #5  
February 21st, 2010, 05:52 PM
myblueyez's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I know I'm fairly new to JM and I don't know you, but here's my input..

I think it's something you and SO need to sit down and really really discuss all your options, thoughts and fears, and future repercussions of each side... And do what is right for you and your family, whichever choice that may be.
I've been close to your situation, taking precautions but unexpectantly pregnant very soon after birth and I chose to abort. Not something ideally I would want to do, but it happened to be the best thing for my family at that time, Do I regret OUR decision? NO. Do I wish things could have been different and I wouldn't have had to do that? YES
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best... Don't beat yourself up either way..


*Side note* Just noticed your'e from Cordova, I used to live in Memphis and have family near there still....
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  #6  
February 21st, 2010, 05:54 PM
conley1988
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First, I came here for support and I am sure that everyone here could have used the done the same and used birth control, but if you read my post, which I am sure you haven't because of your answer, including the link from a previous post, I was on birth control. I was on the Paraguard and somehow my doctor inserted it wrong or it got knocked loose.

And I have not made up my mind what I am going to do, but I guess this is not the board to be on.
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  #7  
February 21st, 2010, 06:08 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi Dawn View Post
even if you and your BF split I am sure you will manage to make it work being a single mother. maybe check out the closely spaced siblings board to get some more insight.

And next time you have sex-when you aren't pregnant maybe you will think about birth control or just not having sex at all. I am usually supportive but IDK.
wow thats a bit rude didnt you read where she said she was on birth control but the doctor inserted it wrong? Now if you werent on BC ID have the same opinion...

Steph I dont know if you remember me from TM but I remember you...

I have absolutely no advice what so ever being that I dont agree with abortion (unless medically necessary and extreme cases) but I am pro-choice and want to wish you luck with making the right decision for your family.
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  #8  
February 21st, 2010, 11:41 PM
k_luvs_c's Avatar Regular
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Hi there... I wish I had advice because I know that I too just wish I had someone to give me a yes or a no!

But ultimately, you have to do what you know is best and what feels right... When I walked into that abortion clinic I knew it wasn't right for me and walked out, but I completely understand that sometimes it is a necessary, yet very sad, step for some women to take.
Everyone keeps telling me "you'll be alright and things will work out with either decision."

I think it's true. If you feel that terminating the pregnancy is the best thing you can do for your family and yourself, and you can walk in there bravely and follow through, then I think you made the right decision. But if not, if the thought of it hurts too badly, then don't go-- and that can be the best decision also. (I'm 22 and this will be my first... So I couldn't justify aborting mine, as terrified as I am. But I really cannot imagine having 4 kids already. I don't know what I would do in your situation. The fact that you're in college and getting a house already is so amazing and inspiring to me. Wow!)

But anyway, I'm sorry for the rude comments you've gotten... I hope everything works out. With whatever decision you make, just keep being the strong woman that you seem to be and they will!

(( hugs ))
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Last edited by k_luvs_c; February 21st, 2010 at 11:48 PM.
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  #9  
February 22nd, 2010, 03:51 PM
conley1988
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Thank you so much for all your support and I will not let one comment deter me from being on here, especially when there it much great advice!

Thank you all and I do have a update following this post!
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  #10  
February 22nd, 2010, 04:10 PM
Jodi Dawn's Avatar Host of the Jan-July 05 P
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sorry bout the rude comment, we all know that any form of birth control isn't 100% except for not having sex or getting a hysterectomy. I do wish you the best. I read the part where you were going to your dr to talk about birth control. you are on the right board to post about it all being unplanned. I myself would not abort, for many reasons. I have 3 kids and got my tubes done... and if some how we would get pregnant again I would raise the baby. But I would not abort it. Because I would look at my kids and know that I would be missing one and wondering what they would look like and how they would act, etc... Adoption would be the best bet if I didn't want to raise the baby.
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  #11  
February 22nd, 2010, 07:59 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conley1988 View Post
Thank you so much for all your support and I will not let one comment deter me from being on here, especially when there it much great advice!

Thank you all and I do have a update following this post!
Okay
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  #12  
February 22nd, 2010, 08:36 PM
conley1988
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodi Dawn View Post
sorry bout the rude comment, we all know that any form of birth control isn't 100% except for not having sex or getting a hysterectomy. I do wish you the best. I read the part where you were going to your dr to talk about birth control. you are on the right board to post about it all being unplanned. I myself would not abort, for many reasons. I have 3 kids and got my tubes done... and if some how we would get pregnant again I would raise the baby. But I would not abort it. Because I would look at my kids and know that I would be missing one and wondering what they would look like and how they would act, etc... Adoption would be the best bet if I didn't want to raise the baby.
I don't get why you are even commenting if you are not in this situation or never have been. I'd like to see your advice for someone who had a one night stand, didn't have a condom and tried the pull out method, those whose condoms broke, etc. We are here because it was unexpected no matter what the situation. We came here for help, no to be judged. Honestly I feel you have a vendetta against me and if you do don't hesistate to pm me, but leave it off the boards because you are coming off very rude on a situation you know nothing about.

Even when you responded you didn't take the time to again read my post. Which shows little support for my situation and more for pokes. I didn't talk to my doctor about birth control, I had a Paraguard in which either got put in wrong or knocked loose. But thanks for reading.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaelahOliver&Mianahs.Mama View Post
Okay
Just learned how to do mulitiple quotes. I do remember you and congrats on the babies! The update it coming up!
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  #13  
February 22nd, 2010, 08:48 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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Thanks hun!
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