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Just feel sick...can't stop crying


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
March 1st, 2010, 06:25 PM
benandali's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Ohio
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Hey all, I'm 23 and have 2 beautiful kids. A 26 month old and a 8 1/2 month old. We have been using NFP and I pretty much understand when I'm ovulating. I work full time as a nurse, and DH is in school trying to get into the psych PHD program. (VERY competitive) We agreed NO more kids for a few years. We have 2 small cars, a small condo and we are already extremely frugal...using coupons, buying stuff at 2nd hand stores etc.
Tonight I found out I'm pregnant. I am shocked. I'm mad and depressed. I can't stop crying. I feel so stupid! How did I get pregnant. My chart is beautiful!!! I don't understand it at all. I hate it.
How are we going to handle this??? I mean, I know we can but it's so overwhelming right now. And I feel even worse because you're supposed to be happy about a baby! And so many people try to conceive and can't. (this may sound incredibly selfish but it's what I'm feeilng so here goes) I am JUST getting back to feeling good about myself and the way I look after both kids. My body was getting into good shape, I had energy. And now it's just all gone!!!
I think I really need some sort of support...I feel so stupid and so sad.
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  #2  
March 1st, 2010, 06:58 PM
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Girl you are not alone! I just found out we are preggo with our fourth and are in a similar situation. I pretty much called myself an idiot, b/c I too have charted and I could not figure out how it happened.

I know you are in complete panic mode right now. Did you share this with DH?

I would love to write more and will try to come back in a bit...the baby wakes.
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  #3  
March 1st, 2010, 07:17 PM
Lolly13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hugs! I know you must be super stressed right now... Just know that your feelings are not stupid and you are completely normal to be feeling this way. There's nothing selfish about wanting to feel good about your appearance. I've been practicing NFP for over 3 years and it is truly a challenge... Just give yourself some time to absorb this huge shock. I am sure your feelings will change over time. And remember, there are plenty of shoulders to cry on here. That's the beauty of these anonymous boards! Have you told DH yet?
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Last edited by Lolly13; March 1st, 2010 at 07:19 PM.
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  #4  
March 1st, 2010, 09:19 PM
conley1988
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I ask myself that everyday. How could this have happened? I also feel as though, it is very wrong of me not to be happy, but when you are in this type of situation I believe that your feelings are your feelings, good or not.
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  #5  
March 2nd, 2010, 05:33 AM
benandali's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yes I told my husband before I even tested that I KNEW I was pregnant. Last night he didn't really say anything. Just said, "Well, God obviously wanted us to have a baby right now"
I'm trying to think of it that way. I feel a little better this morning but am still just feeling embarrassed and silly. I don't want to call the doc. I keep thinking "Well, maybe I'll miscarry" I know that's SUCH a horrible thought but it keeps popping into my head. UGH.
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  #6  
March 2nd, 2010, 07:24 AM
Lolly13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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After I told DH I was pregnant, his initial reaction caused me to think "maybe I'll have a miscarriage" too He KNEW it was possible with us and he acted like it was an Immaculate Conception! I GOT PISSED!! He got past it very quickly and is fine now, but it still hurt. I think it is natural to have those thoughts at times. I would venture to say that if you did m/c you would also feel upset...kind of a no win situation.....

I have used NFP for over 3 years and it is truly a challenge (and I teach it!). May I ask why you choose NFP? For us it is religious reasons. We are Catholic. I noticed your husbands comment about God wanting you to have another baby right now and while that may be of little comfort right now, it really is true. It's hard when we have one path in mind and God chooses another for us. Maybe consider keeping a journal to vent about how you are feeling? I know it always helps me to 'get it all out!'

I won't get all religious on you since I don't know your situation, but just keep in mind that God never gives us more than we can handle. (Even though it may feel like it.....)

Hang in there....
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  #7  
March 2nd, 2010, 08:13 AM
benandali's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yes, we are Catholic, that's why NFP. Plus honestly I don't think I would ever want any unnatural BC...too many side effects, I don't do well w/ meds anyway. So was your pregnancy unplanned as well?
I post on the NFP forum all the time and I feel like EVERYONE else is doing it w/ no problems...why couldn't I? I feel like I must've missed something but me and my instructor are totally shocked! She's going to show my chart to all the other instructors at their next meeting lol.
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  #8  
March 2nd, 2010, 08:57 AM
Lolly13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, I can't say it was a SURPRISE pregnancy.... DH and I had talked about the POSSIBILITY of a sibling closer to DS since our girls are so close. But we had not decided to go for it. The way we handle our phase 2 (fertile time) is that I give him PLENTY of warning so I don't have to 'shoot him down'. I had told him a week before that Valentine's Day (Sunday) was out as I was likely to O that day. BUT, Friday night he gets friendly so I told him immediately 'it's a dangerous time'... he keeps on and then just when it is nearly too late asks 'how dangerous is it?' I'm like 'pretty dangerous honey'... Yet he chose to continue and I kid you not, the next morning my temp shot up and I had o'd 2 days early so we were DEAD ON. (of course! AND that was the only time we DTD during my fertile time...) We had gotten away with a couple of risks in other months, so I think he thought he'd get away with it again. Anyway, I just knew I was pregnant almost from day one... As I said, he acted shocked when I told him. (Whatever!) But I am excited that DS will have a sibling so close to him... God does have a plan for us! My favorite prayer is "Father, you can do all things. Take away my fear, my doubt and my discouragement. I trust in you and place my whole life in your hands." It's on my bathroom mirror and DH and I both read it daily. It applies in SOOOOO many ways to our life right now. I'm glad you joined the DDC, I don't post these kinds of things on that forum for the most part. Feel free to email me if you wanna talk privately. Gotta love that good old fashion Catholic guilt that creeps in.... lol!
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  #9  
March 2nd, 2010, 09:21 AM
MeganLaRue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by benandali View Post
Hey all, I'm 23 and have 2 beautiful kids. A 26 month old and a 8 1/2 month old. We have been using NFP and I pretty much understand when I'm ovulating. I work full time as a nurse, and DH is in school trying to get into the psych PHD program. (VERY competitive) We agreed NO more kids for a few years. We have 2 small cars, a small condo and we are already extremely frugal...using coupons, buying stuff at 2nd hand stores etc.
Tonight I found out I'm pregnant. I am shocked. I'm mad and depressed. I can't stop crying. I feel so stupid! How did I get pregnant. My chart is beautiful!!! I don't understand it at all. I hate it.
How are we going to handle this??? I mean, I know we can but it's so overwhelming right now. And I feel even worse because you're supposed to be happy about a baby! And so many people try to conceive and can't. (this may sound incredibly selfish but it's what I'm feeilng so here goes) I am JUST getting back to feeling good about myself and the way I look after both kids. My body was getting into good shape, I had energy. And now it's just all gone!!!
I think I really need some sort of support...I feel so stupid and so sad.

I could have written this post ... (except that my kids are 4 yrs and 3 months)...
You will get trough this... it is overwhelming... and scary...
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  #10  
March 9th, 2010, 11:17 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 5
I'm pregnant with my 2nd and my daughter will be turning one in 4 weeks. scared to death on how i'm going to do it all over... sleep deprivation again being off work all of it! best of luck

Quote:
Originally Posted by benandali View Post
Yes I told my husband before I even tested that I KNEW I was pregnant. Last night he didn't really say anything. Just said, "Well, God obviously wanted us to have a baby right now"
I'm trying to think of it that way. I feel a little better this morning but am still just feeling embarrassed and silly. I don't want to call the doc. I keep thinking "Well, maybe I'll miscarry" I know that's SUCH a horrible thought but it keeps popping into my head. UGH.
feeling the same even when i went for the ultrasound hoping nothing was in there!
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  #11  
March 10th, 2010, 08:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada <3
Posts: 1,371
I know how you feel, except we were using BCP & Condoms and still got pregnant (3x while preventing)

My oldest won't even be 4 when the baby is born (and she'll be the 4th)
we called ourselves everything in the book, and then some.
It took a few weeks, but now we're both excited.
Give it time, I'm sure after the shock goes away you'll figure it out
Good Luck.
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  #12  
March 14th, 2010, 10:39 PM
Showbiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,646
I'm not in this position, but my sister and I are only 10 months apart (we are numbers 3 and 4 for my dad and her - all unplanned) and my Mom was devastated to find out she was pg with me. She cried the entire pg.

My sister got pg with #3 and two weeks later found out her DH was having an affair. They divorced while she was pg and she was VERY depressed and did not want the fetus AT ALL.

My Mom and I have a fabulous relationship, and always have! And my sister had baby #3 and fell in love.

I just wanted to reassure you all that you can be angry and feel ill-will towards the baby, and things will still turn out fine. It's natural.

AND I'll echo a couple of you who say that God has intended it to be this way

I hope you find peace with yourselves. Don't be too hard on yourselves. Everything will be okay, but until then, you can be angry if you want to be!

Oh, and to try to make you laugh, our good friends use NFP and their first baby was an "oops". The second was planned, and as both were preemies, they decided that was probably enough. They met with someone from their healthcare provider who asked if they needed maternity coverage. He said "Well, we think we're done, but she's Catholic and I'm male, so we better add it". I giggle every time!
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  #13  
March 15th, 2010, 08:23 PM
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Posts: 15
Hang in there benandali!
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