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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
March 20th, 2005, 08:29 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 7
So I am a 35 year old mother of 2 teenage sons who understands b/c etc. I've been in a stable loving relationship for 3 years and am recently engaged.
We got preg. once 2 1/2 yrs ago and due to finances (me only 1 working etc) we had an abortion I've always regretted that decision and wished for that baby.

Secretly I hoped all along I would get pregnant past the Nuvaring. I took it out about 4 months ago due to migraine issues and my fiance and I have been 'careful' about sex but not using b/c. He is right there with me, not worrying - BUT I know if I were to tell him my suspicions that I may be preg. he would freak and probably blame me. Since of course it was my 'egg' after all. GR

I adore this man, but will not get another abortion for him. It's been a weird week. I've been withdrawn and emotional and very moody because I am so nervous about this. I don't want to lose him, but I will not lose this baby either. If there is one.

Here's the symptoms...nipples are stingy, sex drive is in high gear, dreams vivid, I'm so moody I cried at work in my bosses office, even the fiance says I am terribly moody, I feel bloated like I'm PMSed but last weekend was my light period. I have funny pinchy feelings in my sides, but that could be gas? Or sore muscles? I'm not hungry for anything anyone else wants to eat and don't want to go with them when they want to go out. So far that's it, I could be imagining, or I could be preg, and dang I am nervous!

Here's my quandry - since the fiance is obviously on to my moody withdrawn attitude (which I can't miraculously make go away) should I tell him what I think or should I wait til I can test? I don't want to fight with him, and he is worried about IRS/ Tax stuff so I think I should stay silent right now. But it's hard to worry on my own. Especially when I am unsure of his response. But - I practically raised my 2 on my own already so if he doesn't want to participate in the life of our baby I will be more than fine doing it on my own. No matter how much I love him.

I can't do the abortion thing again. It took me 2 years to be able to look at a child and not ache.

Opinions anyone? Good, bad, indifferent? Am I just worrying too much?

Please advise
Thanks
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  #2  
March 20th, 2005, 08:40 PM
kjomomma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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hi there and welcome to jm...my name is kelly and i am one of the hosts here. i think you should test and go from there. if you know he's gonna freak i would find out first and then if you are let him freak then. then you guys can decide what to do on facts and not what ifs. good uck and keep us posted.
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  #3  
March 20th, 2005, 08:48 PM
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Absolutely agreed, he is sitting on the couch about 6 feet away from me right now...in perfect harmony...I'm gonna leave it that way for a few more weeks until I know what's going on.

I need to wait 3 more weeks to test right? That would be 4 weeks since last period.

Sheesh I am out of practice - I will post more if I notice more symptoms - but I am keeping my mouth shut for now.

)

Thanks for some good womanly advice!!!
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  #4  
March 20th, 2005, 08:51 PM
kjomomma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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you can test as early as the day you miss your period...some tests that you get you can do sooner but i have always tried to wait until i was late. i have never had a test be wrong...and i have taken plenty.
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  #5  
March 20th, 2005, 09:00 PM
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Ok so here's me the impatient redhead waiting for 3 more weeks...eek!

I will do my best!

Thanks!

I'll keep you posted!
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  #6  
March 20th, 2005, 09:03 PM
kjomomma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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good luck....
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Kyndal (6)
Alayna(3)
And Rayanna (2)
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  #7  
March 21st, 2005, 05:13 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Welcome to JM! I'm the other host of the board. I just wanted to say good luck. Kelly already said everything else I would have said
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  #8  
March 21st, 2005, 01:10 PM
Margaret
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Hi,

I'm also 35 and surprisingly pregnant. It sounds like it's better for you to wait to tell him. Do you think it will hurt you more for him to get angry later or do you think he might freak at first and then calm down by the time you test? If you are pregnant, the last thing you need is stress.

I am more of a need-to-know type person so I know I would tell and figure out where things stood as early as possible. I am not good at worrying alone especially if I thought there was a chance of a separation. I'd like to know that as soon as possible so I can start figuring things out. That's just me though.

Good luck to you,
Margaret
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  #9  
March 21st, 2005, 02:08 PM
1proudmom2kalli
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Hey hun,

First of all, if you've already had an abortion for him and don't want to have another one, DON'T. You will regret it again, most likely. I really can't say because I've never had one, but you have to do what's right in your heart.

Two words- FIRST RESPONSE. I got 2 of them. I took the first one 2 days after my missed period. The period I had in November was also a fluke, so you may or may not miss a period. But take First Response... That was the one I took, and it was correct. Actually both of them were. Anyways, good luck and let us know how you make out!!

BEST OF LUCK!
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  #10  
March 21st, 2005, 07:36 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2005
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I'm finding it easy to keep my mouth shut (surprisingly for me!) and I do have a pregnancy test in the closet from last year (not expired).

I think I will try it tonight and see what it says - and if it is negative, I will wait for 3 weeks to test again. If it is positive, I will wait 3 weeks to tell him...*ahem* or until after April 15th whichever comes first.

Thanks all, it means a lot to have some womanly advice. Especially when I can't go to my mom and talk to her about this.

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  #11  
March 22nd, 2005, 05:38 PM
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I've never been scared to take a preg. test... ever. They have all been negative. I never expected to get pregnant, especially since my ex husband and I tried 2 years to get pregnant... never happened. I was TERRIFIED to see a + result.

you can be 3 weeks pregnant and those O-T-C tests will pick up the hormone. If you don't feel like waiting for your period you can try the O-T-C tests. If you do take one early, be sure to pee in a cup and soak the applicator in it OR use first morning pee

GOOD LUCK!
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  #12  
March 22nd, 2005, 08:39 PM
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So I chickened out doing it last night and wanted to wait til this morning - then the fiance got up with me so I couldn't

I will try again tomorrow if he sleeps in. The cup soaking bit is good thanks! I am always a bit inept with those things!

More tomorrow!

Thanks! Goodnighty!

PS Still feeling a bit weird - can I just feel things because my body wants to be prego??

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  #13  
March 24th, 2005, 08:51 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2005
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I took the test this morning and it was negative. Whew. I'm still going to wait and see whether my period behaves itself this month. I didn't say a word to the fiance.

Question - I posed this earlier - can my body (due to my age/ hormones/ previous experience) think it's preg so it feels it preg?

I'll keep ya posted

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  #14  
March 24th, 2005, 09:12 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Alot of things can cause pregnancy like symtoms. Last month I was cramping, not feeling well, tired, sore bbs, hightened sense of smell....everything that points toward pregnancy but I got my period. So you never know.
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  #15  
March 24th, 2005, 10:09 AM
Margaret
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Hi again,

I'm glad to hear you are relieved. Do you know if your hormones registered on the EPT with your other pregnancies? Some women only know they are pregnant through blood tests.

Stress can mimic pregnancy symptoms and vice versa. That is why I didn't know for almost 11 weeks. I was grieving the death of a very close friend and thought it was stress. My cycle has never been regular for my entire life so that never helps me. It has fluctuated more as I've aged which is contributed to hormones. (Do you have other hormonal imbalance symptoms? e.g. facial hair growth, dark spots on the skins, voice deeper than usual, etc.).

You aren't alone in this. I'm waiting on pins and needles with you! :-)

Take gentle care,
Margaret


Quote:
Originally posted by Jasmine_xoxo@Mar 24 2005, 11:51 AM
I took the test this morning and it was negative. Whew.* Question - I posed this earlier - can my body (due to my age/ hormones/ previous experience) think it's preg so it feels it preg?
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  #16  
March 24th, 2005, 10:28 AM
zoey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have had similar feelings the past two months. Sore big boobs espeshally. That was the first thing I noticed. Over Valentines day I got new bras from Dh and they make my boobs look huge. He loved them of course. I couldn't believe a bra could do that, so I put on an old one, and it looked the same. They haven't shrunk yet. And then we went to Ikea and throught the baby stuff and I was so in the mood to go "jump DH's bones". It was like my body was telling me to try to have a baby and giving me baby feelings. Anyway.. I do think your body can feel like it, even if you aren't. I had my period last month, and it was normal. Due for my next one real soon. Crampy this morning, boobs are sore today so should be just around the corner.
Anyway, if your not prego. Maybe once you guys get married things will work out for the two of you to try.
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