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How did your family handle the news?


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
October 18th, 2010, 09:11 AM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Burgh, PA
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Was your family supportive of your unplanned pregnancy? What about your significant other's family?


I'm 20 years old, living away from home, and was still dreading to tell my parents. I was told to get an abortion by my mom but i didn't listen. I thought she would be the one to understand since she was 16 when i was born, but that wasn't the case at all. She still isn't really taking to me about it and said sh probably won't be here for the birth. My grand parents were actually the most supportive and made me feel good about my decision to keep my baby. My grandmother sent me a big box of maternity wear and is always sending me things to help out. She can't wait to be here for the birth.

My SO's family was extremely supportive and happy, but he is also older than me (7 years older) and this is his first as well. They are always doing thngs to help us like washing our laundry or picking up maternity wear for me when they can. They have been wonderful this whole time.
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  #2  
November 2nd, 2010, 06:13 PM
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Sorry to here about your Mom. I hope she will come around.

I just finished telling my Mom. She was very supportive. I cried to her about my financial worries and she calmed me down. We're telling my in laws tonight when my husband gets home. I hope it goes over well. I'm expecting them to give us lots of support. Without their help it will be alot harder on us since my family is far away from us.
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  #3  
November 11th, 2010, 09:23 AM
MissChryssie:)'s Avatar Katheryns' Mommie ♥
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Location: Colorado
Posts: 56
My mom was 17 when she had my oldest brother, and she was the one to buy me a pregnancy test. I had typed up a letter on facebook of all places, and the next day there was a knock at my bedroom door (I still live with them) and she said "lets make sure". The moment the test said positive, she went off on me, got mad and said she didn't want this for me, and didn't want me to go through the same thing she did, even though I'll be 21 when my baby comes. It took her maybe 15 minutes at the most to come back to me, hug me and we both cried because I was terrified. The father of my baby isn't around so this is something my parents and I are going to go through together. Now they are very supportive. Always asking me if I want a certain food when they go shopping etc. Your mom will come around. My mom came around quickly because her mother and father cut her off from the family, told her they were ashamed of her and even tried to give her baby away before it was even born against her wishes. She just didn't want me to go through the same thing. Try to stay positive, things will turn out alright.
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  #4  
November 12th, 2010, 07:52 AM
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Location: Ontario, Canada <3
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I got pregnant with my first when I was 20. I told my dad first. He was supportive. When I told my mom, she wasn't too impressed. Then, I had a miscarriage, it took me a long time to tell her that I'd lost it, and she was angry with me. Then told people that I was probably faking being pregnant. Luckily, my dad believed me, because I'd given my dr. his address, and the dr. sent a letter to me.

When I got pregnant with my oldest, I told my dad first, again. He wasn't that supportive that time. Then, I told my mom at 15 weeks. I told her I waited incase I had another miscarriage. (I'd had my first one at 13 weeks) She was okay with it. (We'd planned this pregnancy)

Then, when he was 7 months old, I got pregnant again. I told my mom the day after I found out. She was angry, but got over it. My dad wasn't happy, again.
When my second son was 10 months old, I got pregnant again. I told my mom first again. By now, she was used to hearing me say it, so she was expecting it. She was still a little disappointed. I didn't tell my dad til I was about 34 weeks because I knew he'd be angry. And technically, I didn't tell him, my step sister did.

Then, when I was pregnant the last time, I told my mom, she was expecting it again, and wasn't angry. I told my dad when he was drunk, hoping he might not remember, but I could still say I told him. He wasn't angry, but he didnt think I was serious. When I told my brother he dropped the F bomb a few times, but was over it.
out of my 5 pregnancies, 4 of them where unplanned.
No more for me though, I got my tubes tied.

ETA- S/Os family didn't really care either way. His mom isn't in our lives, and his brother didn't really care. Luckily, when I'm pregnant he knows he's on call at the drop of a hat. So, when I needed to go to the hospital, he was up and watching my kids. When we had my second I went to the hospital at 2am and he was at the hospital until 7am incase they sent me home. Then he took Ryan for the day <3
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Last edited by ~Got Pink~; November 12th, 2010 at 07:59 AM.
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  #5  
November 12th, 2010, 09:28 AM
somo_chickenlady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Bradleyville, MO
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I found out I was pg with DS when I was 20, 6 months after DH and I started dating. My parents were NOT supportive. My mom tried to convince me to put him up for adoption, and my dad told me that it was the biggest mistake I would make in my life. DH's family on the other hand was supportive from the very beginning. My MIL was actually excited when she found out I was pg. I was still living at my parents' house when I found out I was pg, and my mom kicked me out when I was 4-5 months along (over something stupid, not related to the pg) and my in laws took me in until DH and I could find a place of our own. I didn't talk to my mom again until I was in labor.

It even went so far with my mom, that I was seeing her OB and when we were there to hear the heartbeat for the first time (which we couldn't with the doppler and had to go with internal ultrasound, which made the moment that much more emotional) the doctor gave me a lecture about how I should give this baby up for adoption b/c the father was just a dead beat and would never stick around. DH was standing RIGHT THERE while he was saying this. He wanted to punch him. I never went back to that doctor after that. Yeah, DH never stuck around...we've only been married for 10 years now, together for 13. lol All of the support we had during my pg was from DH's family. They were great. My mom still holds a grudge against them b/c they took me in when she kicked me out. Of course my parents love Greyson now.
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  #6  
November 12th, 2010, 10:47 AM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Hurley, WI
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Hi, Cece I know we're in the same DDC together. I haven't really said that this baby was an oopsie baby. We lost track of things (loosely using nfp) when we moved from MN to WI over the summer and I ended up pregnant. Not a huge deal for us, but never-the-less, unplanned.

My mom was less than supportive even when we mentioned considering having children. That was before I got pregnant with Jacob, I wasn't even knocked up yet! Her only reply was how we'd never have money. She and I don't have any real relationship now, basically we're not on speaking terms even though she is added to my facebook to see pictures of the kids. I haven't directly even told her about his pregnancy. I probably won't at all.

My Dad- He loves my son to pieces, my son was conceived right after his mom died and it seemed to help him a lot. He was thrilled. He made a comment right after I found out that we needed to have a girl (to make the count 1 boy 1 girl) then get DH "snipped." I waited until I was almost done with my first trimester to tell him. I emailed an u/s picture to him (he lives 900 miles away) and his office assistant had to tell him what it was He was happy though. He's already making plans for coming up to visit after baby is born.

DH's parents: His mom wasn't expecting us to announce we were pregnant again. I think she was under the impression that I'd only want one kid or something. She was happy though. His Dad said he knew before we told them and seems indifferent, but I think that's just how he is. His wife was ecstatic.
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‎"That which offends you only weakens you. Being offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place- so transcend your ego and stay in peace."

Stay at home mom to two:
Jacob 03/17/2009
Benjamin 03/18/2011
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  #7  
November 12th, 2010, 11:39 AM
Voodoo_Lady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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My parents were surprisingly supportive. Although I'm 28 and this is my second baby, I thought my parents would be upset being that they are quite religious and I knew their views on babies born out of wedlock. But I think the fact that I had shown them I was a capable mother, and the fact that they liked my BF (despite the fact we had only been dating 2 months when this happened) made them more confident in me. Plus they are totally against abortion so they would never suggest that.
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  #8  
November 12th, 2010, 03:19 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonya314 View Post
Sorry to here about your Mom. I hope she will come around.

I just finished telling my Mom. She was very supportive. I cried to her about my financial worries and she calmed me down. We're telling my in laws tonight when my husband gets home. I hope it goes over well. I'm expecting them to give us lots of support. Without their help it will be alot harder on us since my family is far away from us.
Thanks sonya. I hope she comes around too but if she doesn't, it's her loss.

How did it go with your inlaws? Did they take the news well. Without SO's family, things would have been alot harder for us as well.
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  #9  
November 12th, 2010, 03:27 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caelen View Post
Hi, Cece I know we're in the same DDC together. I haven't really said that this baby was an oopsie baby. We lost track of things (loosely using nfp) when we moved from MN to WI over the summer and I ended up pregnant. Not a huge deal for us, but never-the-less, unplanned.

My mom was less than supportive even when we mentioned considering having children. That was before I got pregnant with Jacob, I wasn't even knocked up yet! Her only reply was how we'd never have money. She and I don't have any real relationship now, basically we're not on speaking terms even though she is added to my facebook to see pictures of the kids. I haven't directly even told her about his pregnancy. I probably won't at all.

My Dad- He loves my son to pieces, my son was conceived right after his mom died and it seemed to help him a lot. He was thrilled. He made a comment right after I found out that we needed to have a girl (to make the count 1 boy 1 girl) then get DH "snipped." I waited until I was almost done with my first trimester to tell him. I emailed an u/s picture to him (he lives 900 miles away) and his office assistant had to tell him what it was He was happy though. He's already making plans for coming up to visit after baby is born.

DH's parents: His mom wasn't expecting us to announce we were pregnant again. I think she was under the impression that I'd only want one kid or something. She was happy though. His Dad said he knew before we told them and seems indifferent, but I think that's just how he is. His wife was ecstatic.
Nice to see another DDC member here! My mom brought up the whole money thing also amongst a bunch of other reasons why a baby was a dumb idea. I just checked facebook and saw that she had blocked me from making comments on her wall . I don't talk to her very much either. We have spoken maybe twice since i told her the news. The first time was me calling to tell her it was a boy and she said, "okay". And didn't say another word about it.

The next conversation we had, she didn't bring up the pregnancy at all or even ask how i was doing. I'm just accepting the fact that i can't force her to want a relationship with me (or her grandson in the future). I hope she comes around, but i'm not going to force the issue anymore.
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  #10  
November 12th, 2010, 03:33 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: The Burgh, PA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kara_leigh View Post
I found out I was pg with DS when I was 20, 6 months after DH and I started dating. My parents were NOT supportive. My mom tried to convince me to put him up for adoption, and my dad told me that it was the biggest mistake I would make in my life. DH's family on the other hand was supportive from the very beginning. My MIL was actually excited when she found out I was pg. I was still living at my parents' house when I found out I was pg, and my mom kicked me out when I was 4-5 months along (over something stupid, not related to the pg) and my in laws took me in until DH and I could find a place of our own. I didn't talk to my mom again until I was in labor.

It even went so far with my mom, that I was seeing her OB and when we were there to hear the heartbeat for the first time (which we couldn't with the doppler and had to go with internal ultrasound, which made the moment that much more emotional) the doctor gave me a lecture about how I should give this baby up for adoption b/c the father was just a dead beat and would never stick around. DH was standing RIGHT THERE while he was saying this. He wanted to punch him. I never went back to that doctor after that. Yeah, DH never stuck around...we've only been married for 10 years now, together for 13. lol All of the support we had during my pg was from DH's family. They were great. My mom still holds a grudge against them b/c they took me in when she kicked me out. Of course my parents love Greyson now.
Are you serious? That doctor deserved to be punched in the face! That is one of the most unprofessional things i have heard of coming from a doctor. Glad you never went to see him again.

Congrats on going 13 years strong and raising a beautiful boy despite those negative assumptions!
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