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Afraid to tell your family?


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
November 12th, 2010, 01:16 PM
Ashley11
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Are you afraid to tell your family?

Or are you not afraid to tell them?

Do you think they will disown you if you tell them?

For those of us who have already told our families do they st ill support you? Or do they want nothing to do with you?
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  #2  
November 12th, 2010, 03:08 PM
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i was afraid to tell my family. I told my mom sooner, at like 12 weeks. I didn't tell my dad until 21 weeks. My dad was disappointed i kept it a secret from him for so long. My entire family (immediate & extended) are excited for my little man, everyone has been spoiling him like crazy. I haven't even had my baby shower yet, but my family has bought him basically everything i need for him.
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  #3  
November 12th, 2010, 04:16 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissAshley View Post
Are you afraid to tell your family?

Or are you not afraid to tell them?

Do you think they will disown you if you tell them?

For those of us who have already told our families do they st ill support you? Or do they want nothing to do with you?
I was afraid at first. I waited till 13 weeks to tell them. I told my aunt first who promptly told me to get an abortion. She called back an hour later though and told me she was sorry. She has supported me since then.

My grandparents were supportive from the moment i told them. It is my mom (who i told last) that i had the biggest problem with. She told me to get an abortion and when i said no, she said i was dumb and she was disappointed. We have only talked once or twice since then and she doesn't bring up the fact that i'm pregnant. I wouldn't exactly consider that support but i haven't been completely shunned.

She did say that she didn't think she would come and visit after he is born. But we will see. If she doesn't, it's her loss. She is missing out on a relationship with her grandson.
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  #4  
November 13th, 2010, 10:21 AM
Ashley11
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Ugh, I would have replied earlier but I was stuck in the darn ER for a few hours They think I have kidney stones, and I was worried about the baby, but everything is fine now.

Anywho, I was pretty scared to tell my family. Only because some families have that expectation of you being married and having a level head and a job and knowing what you are going to do with your life. . .I however did the complete opposite. I didn't have a good job, I just turned 20, I had no clue where I was going in life. . .

I guess I underestimated my family though because when I first told my mom I didn't want to be pregnant but she was so excited, and my dad was so happy and so was my little sister and older brother and my aunt and cousins. . .everybody was happy for me.

@Drammafreemama, ugh that would be so hard for me to not have my moms support, it would sort of make me feel incomplete in a way maybe that sounds dumb, but I guess that is what I would feel from it, I'm sorry you're going through that I hope she winds up changing her mind and warming up to your baby.

@rugby_girl That's cool that you have your families support I was convinced I wouldn't have my families at all, but I guess I do! And I have a feeling they are going to be spoiling my baby rotten as well. . . my family is chomping at the bit to be able to go shopping for the baby, but we won't know the gender for another 4 days, so I am hoping to get open leg vibes so we can know what we are having. . .lol
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  #5  
November 15th, 2010, 05:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissAshley View Post
Ugh, I would have replied earlier but I was stuck in the darn ER for a few hours They think I have kidney stones, and I was worried about the baby, but everything is fine now.
Ow! I hope you are alright. I have never had kidney stones but i heard they were extremely painful.

Quote:
Anywho, I was pretty scared to tell my family. Only because some families have that expectation of you being married and having a level head and a job and knowing what you are going to do with your life. . .I however did the complete opposite. I didn't have a good job, I just turned 20, I had no clue where I was going in life. . .
This was pretty much the main concern with my family. I still don't know exactly what i want to do in life, but i have a plan to go back to school so everything should be on the right track, even with this unexpected new edition

Quote:
@Drammafreemama, ugh that would be so hard for me to not have my moms support, it would sort of make me feel incomplete in a way maybe that sounds dumb, but I guess that is what I would feel from it, I'm sorry you're going through that I hope she winds up changing her mind and warming up to your baby.
It does make me a little sad that i can't share this with my mother but i can't beat myself up over it because there is nothing i can do to change it. I have my aunt and my grandparents for support and that is really i need to get me through this

Quote:
@rugby_girl That's cool that you have your families support I was convinced I wouldn't have my families at all, but I guess I do! And I have a feeling they are going to be spoiling my baby rotten as well. . . my family is chomping at the bit to be able to go shopping for the baby, but we won't know the gender for another 4 days, so I am hoping to get open leg vibes so we can know what we are having. . .lol
That is one thing this baby is going to be really lucky to have....two sets of grandparents who will love and spoil him (So's parents and my grandparents)
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  #6  
November 15th, 2010, 06:27 PM
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I'm terrified to tell my dad! I know he'll freak... at least I think. I just wish I could work up enough courage to just tell him already.
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  #7  
November 16th, 2010, 07:39 AM
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Originally Posted by lilycooper View Post
I'm terrified to tell my dad! I know he'll freak... at least I think. I just wish I could work up enough courage to just tell him already.
Tell him when you feel most comfortable to, just don't wait till the last moment. i waited till i was 12 weeks to tell most of my family...and a little bit later to tell others.

Also, don't be too sure how they react. Your dad might just surprise you with his support. I know my grandparents and my aunt surprised me with theirs.
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  #8  
November 17th, 2010, 04:09 PM
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I was terrified with a capital T to tell my parents! Even though I was going through a bit of a rebel stage, I hated to disappoint my parents - I had always been the responsible one & I felt horrible..

But once my mom found out & recovered from it, she was supportive & is the BEST Nana anyone could have She was an amazing mother who I admire so much, so I am so glad to have her.

As for my dad, he's supportive & I know he loves us & is proud of me, but I've never been close with him so it's kind of not a big deal to me how he feels.

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  #9  
November 17th, 2010, 09:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilycooper View Post
I'm terrified to tell my dad! I know he'll freak... at least I think. I just wish I could work up enough courage to just tell him already.
Thats exactly how I was... I ended up having my mom break the news to him. He was more upset that I kept it from him for so long then the fact i was pregnant. He is sooo excited for little man now.
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  #10  
November 27th, 2010, 01:28 PM
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When I got pregnant with my first I was 19. I was ashamed to tell my dad because that means he knew I had been having sex! LOL
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  #11  
November 27th, 2010, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted by MommyMonk View Post
When I got pregnant with my first I was 19. I was ashamed to tell my dad because that means he knew I had been having sex! LOL
That's how i felt about telling my grandparents!
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  #12  
January 17th, 2011, 05:41 AM
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Im afraid to tell my family. I m ashamed to tell my Daughter.
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  #13  
January 17th, 2011, 07:23 AM
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I won't be telling my family anytime soon. My mother is not so nice about my pregnancies (except for the last one)...she knows we are broke and will call me irresponsible. I don't think it will matter much to my father, we don't see him very often.

My sister is currently TTC (starting this month). She's never had a problem getting pg right away. I've given her all the baby stuff, since we were done. How do I politely ask her for some of it back? She's going to be mad that I was irresponsible to.

I'm going to wait as long as possible to tell my family. Besides, me and DH have enough to plan and worry about without the opinions of others.

It's weird to be worrisome about telling family....I'm 34 and have been married for over 5 years.
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  #14  
January 17th, 2011, 11:03 AM
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I am almost 30 and BF is 36. I have 3 little ones already (4 and under)

I am afraid to tell my family. I am newly divorced (been over for just shy of 2 years now (right afer I found out I was preggers with my last baby). I have been dating this guy for 4 months and where i was unhappy and scared he was overly excited, his family is excited and supportive and they have gotten me excited (and I am 6-7 weeks now, known for a little over 2 weeks.

I know my parents will NOT be happy and prob not supportive. My parents were never happy or super supportive with the last ones and I was married then. So I will not tell them till I have to. Maybe I can go as far as to not tell them till baby is born. We will see. They live an hour away but are not ones to drive to see me and my truck cannot make that trip.

PROBLEM: I have birthdays in June and August (month I would be due)... My kid's birthdays... So IDK. We will see.
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  #15  
January 18th, 2011, 09:41 AM
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I wasnt afraid to tell any of my family. My parents have both passed but my sister and my soon to be sister in law are both super supportive. All my aunts/uncles who I have told are wonderfully supportive. His mom is over the moon excited about the baby.

I was suprised no one has seemed to care that we arent married and arent going to get married before the baby is born. I havent told some of my extended family due to my fear of being judged for that reason. If they find out, great otherwise oh well.
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  #16  
January 19th, 2011, 07:40 PM
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I'm afraid to tell my sister and dad but part of me is actually glad that my mom is no longer with us. She would crucify me if she were still alive! She yelled at me and scolded me for 2 years after I got laid off from my job after 9/11 (one of over 100 who got laid off). She told me over and over again that I was a loser for having wasted 100K on graduate school just to get laid off right after graduating.

My BF is more scared to tell his family. He thinks they will disown me. They've never met me but when we broke up last year, he didn't have very nice things to say about me to them. i told him that if he lied to them about this baby, that he was no longer welcome in my life.
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