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Financing an unplanned pregnacy


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
December 16th, 2010, 05:06 AM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We have spent almost 500 dollars already on stuff for baby. That is a lot of money for us since we only have one income. We don't even have everything we need yet, we only have gotten the pack n play swing, bouncer, and clothes. I have been trying to cut the costs down by buying used but even so, we have spent more money then we thought we would already. I'm hoping to have a baby shower to maybe help with getting the rest of what the baby needs.

For those who are pregnant now, has the reality of financing this unplanned pregnancy hit you yet? How are you dealing with it?

And for those of you BTDT moms, how did you handle all the unexpected costs of having a baby? Did your expenses only increase after the baby was born or are older children less expensive to take care of?

Please share your thoughts and/or advice
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  #2  
December 16th, 2010, 07:15 AM
Birds_of_a_feather's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I bought mostly used baby gear/clothes both on sites like Craiglist and by going to thrift stores frequently. I saved a boatload plus I got some REALLY nice stuff. No one would ever know I didn't buy this stuff new. For us the main cost was the stroller because I wanted a heavy duty one that could stand every day use. And now that he's born diapers are probably our biggest expense.

This is my second pregnancy (first unplanned) so I did have some things saved. You could try asking friends and family who have already had kids, if they have saved any stuff you could have or borrow. I think the costs go down a lot as the child gets older. They don't grow out of clothes as often and don't need all that gear like highchairs and swings.
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  #3  
December 16th, 2010, 09:26 AM
beckii's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For me, it was my baby shower - well, 3 of them. I had a work one, my mom threw me one with all of her co-workers, & then my dad had one for me with his fiance at the time & her large greek family - so I recieved plenty of stuff from that! I also had help from my family - my dad bought the crib, my mom a bassinet, & my sister at the time with her income & her BF's bought me tons... so I got lucky!

I was also living with my BF & his family, so we didn't have to pay rent. I had my maternity benefits, & he was working.

Now, however, I'm mostly on my own with buying things seeing as how my family is in no real position to help out financially anymore. It does get less expensive as they get older in a sense, but not by much! My daughter grows more & more everday, so clothes are the big expense, as well as added groceries.

Whatever I can't buy on sale or cheap, I look for free on sites like Kijiji (don't knw if you have that in the States!). For food, sometimes I resort to the foodbank, but not always since she's in daycare & is only home for one meal.

I wouldn't say things get easier financially, but they do get better to manage. The first year can be rough, but once you realize what you're doing & find ways to budget, things can get better

GL, & I understand the scares & concerns, I had no idea I would recieve as much help as I did & was worried for months before I had my daughter.
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  #4  
December 16th, 2010, 01:34 PM
Amanda_Marie's Avatar Mommy to Owen
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I've been there, especially with an unplanned pregnancy. When I first got pregnant I was a FT college student only working PT if that. DH worked FT but only had a temporary job. IMO it's really hard to plan financially for a child, especially if it is unplanned because you just never know. Some costs are expected, some are unexpected. You really just have to go with the flow.

DH and I had our share of ridiculous times, but we made it work. And you will too. There may be times when you are thinking "omg how am I going to pay for that" but somehow, you make it work. In fact my DH was laid off from his job that he just started a couple months before Owen was born. Owen was 4 months at the time. I was working FT but had to give up school. We lived off my income and DH's unemployment ... which was nothing. I have NO idea how we did it. We cut a lot of costs that weren't necessary. Like, cable, we ditched it for just the basic. It sucked, but saved us $100 a month!

As far as change of cost as they get older. Owen is only 14 months and it doesn't feel like expenses have changed. He no longer drinks formula, but I feel like we go through diapers more because he wears a bigger size and the bigger the size the smaller the box.

Hang in there hun, like my mom says "Stop stressing out, it does you no good!"
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  #5  
December 16th, 2010, 01:36 PM
rugby_girl's Avatar <3 my boy :)
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My parents have helped me out A LOT. When my car broke down, they picked up all the repair costs, they helped with my tuition, and I live rent free and i am on their cell phone plan. They buy me food and stuff. Because I am living at my parents, they already had a bunch of barely used baby stuff that was the "grammy" set for my nephew (pack n play, swing, high chair, bath tub, clothes etc), plus my older brother and sister in law have given me so much hand me down stuff. I get a lot of clothes on clearance. I work 2 part time jobs, all that money can go towards gas for work and school, then the rest i can either save or spend on my little man. I honestly don't know where I would be if it wasn't for them. My son's father has no interest in my son or helping out in any way so if I didn't have my parents I'd probably be in a pretty bad situation.
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  #6  
December 16th, 2010, 02:28 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Voodoo_Lady View Post
I bought mostly used baby gear/clothes both on sites like Craiglist and by going to thrift stores frequently. I saved a boatload plus I got some REALLY nice stuff. No one would ever know I didn't buy this stuff new. For us the main cost was the stroller because I wanted a heavy duty one that could stand every day use. And now that he's born diapers are probably our biggest expense.
This is basically what i have been doing. about 90 percent of what we have, i bought on craigslist. I think i saved the most on clothes because i got alot of really nice namebrand stuff for less than 50 cents a piece. I also bought his pack n play from a woman on craigslist and it's in amazing condition. Doesn't look used. And it would have cost me double to buy it new in stores. I'm definitely going to continue to get what we can used and keep everything in good condition so i can resell it when i'm finished.

Quote:
This is my second pregnancy (first unplanned) so I did have some things saved. You could try asking friends and family who have already had kids, if they have saved any stuff you could have or borrow. I think the costs go down a lot as the child gets older. They don't grow out of clothes as often and don't need all that gear like highchairs and swings.
I really wish we had friends or family memebers that had recently had some kids because i would definitely ask to borrow from them if i could. The problem is we are the first of our friends to have a baby and all our close family members that have had kids, had them a long time ago. They have already gotten rid of most of thier old baby suff

Quote:
Originally Posted by beckii View Post

GL, & I understand the scares & concerns, I had no idea I would recieve as much help as I did & was worried for months before I had my daughter.
Thanks beckii

Yea, i am really hoping we have a baby shower. We haven't discussed it yet with anyone and i'm not even sure who would come. I don't have any friends or family in the area. But we hav 3 months till our due date so there is still time.

I'm sure if we end up in a pinch, my family will help out and send some stuff. I think i'm just over worrying myself. It's all just so overwhelming since we are getting so close to our due date.
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Last edited by DramaFreeMama; December 16th, 2010 at 02:33 PM.
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  #7  
December 16th, 2010, 02:36 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Originally Posted by Amanda_Marie View Post
Hang in there hun, like my mom says "Stop stressing out, it does you no good!"
I know! i stress way too much. I don't know what it feels like to relax

@Jaime - I feel that way about SO's parents. They help us out with so much and they have been so supportive. I don't know what we would have done without them.
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  #8  
December 17th, 2010, 06:19 AM
beckii's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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There's definietly still time I didn't get anything until the last month of my pregnancy, & I hadn't expected it - so it was a nice surprise, & definitely helped me to stop worrying a bit.

My sister just had her 3rd boy, & her financial situation isn't the best ( her BF has another 3 kids too ), but she found a bunch of nice stuff that people were giving away for free on Kijiji (its like craigslit), like a swing, chair, etc... & also, she lives in an apartment complex, & the supers knew they were having a baby - so when a family left behind a crib, a playpen & a stroller, they gave it to them

So there's always hope, just don't give up or get down on yourself, things will work out
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  #9  
December 17th, 2010, 02:43 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beckii View Post
There's definietly still time I didn't get anything until the last month of my pregnancy, & I hadn't expected it - so it was a nice surprise, & definitely helped me to stop worrying a bit.

My sister just had her 3rd boy, & her financial situation isn't the best ( her BF has another 3 kids too ), but she found a bunch of nice stuff that people were giving away for free on Kijiji (its like craigslit), like a swing, chair, etc... & also, she lives in an apartment complex, & the supers knew they were having a baby - so when a family left behind a crib, a playpen & a stroller, they gave it to them

So there's always hope, just don't give up or get down on yourself, things will work out
I think we have something here in the states like Kijiji. It's called freecycle. I know alot of people post free items they want or are giving away. I don't know why i haven't checked it out yet.

I'm definitely going to give that a look today. Maybe i will get lucky and find something we really need
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  #10  
December 20th, 2010, 09:02 PM
peace.love.audrey
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I got really lucky because most of my friends have kids and gave me all their stuff. I got a swing, jumperoo, dresser, changing table, highchair, clothes and tons of toys. My parents bought the crib, my grandparents bought the stroller/carseat and I got a bouncer, bedding, bathtub and other baby gear at my shower. And I also get WIC so I have never paid for formula. The only things I have really paid for myself are my cloth diapers, some clothes, bottles and other little things here and there. I got really lucky and I am so thankful that my friends and family are so great.

My suggestion would be to buy used if you can and definitely apply for WIC if they have it in your area.
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  #11  
December 21st, 2010, 07:21 PM
LolaRennt.'s Avatar Run, Lola, Run
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I know how it is, hun! I struggled quite a bit with my first pregnancy. Luckily, I was able to find some good second hand things on ebay, clothes, toys etc. Plus, I constantly kept on eye on catalogues for any sales. The baby shower was a HUGE help. I got more than half the stuff I needed!

I reeeeeeeally hope this baby is a boy, because then I will be set! If it's a girl, I probably will struggle a bit.
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  #12  
December 22nd, 2010, 11:14 AM
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my oldest (who just turned 16 a week and a half ago) was unplanned. i was a full time college student with no job. by the grace of god, we survived. he didn't have all the "extras"...matchy matchy gear...wore some store brand diapers, wore lots of hand-me-downs, etc. through my mom and the state, we were covered for medical. i was also eligible for other state programs, which helped tremendously. as well, i have so many caring family members/friends...one of my friends watched him for $50 a week while i went back to school (dirt cheap then and now). also, one of her cousins had a baby 6 weeks before me and he was so huge he could only wear most of his clothing only once before it was too small; she passed SO MUCH stuff to me, i had to take back pretty much all of what i'd purchased (which i was glad to do). when he was about 14 months, i went to work full-time and have been grinding every since.

honestly, children’s expenses continue to rise; just in a different way. those first years of life are exacerbated by all the gear, daycare fees (if you have them), formula (if using) & diapers. once they're at the age where they can go to school, it depends on you...my children have always attended private school (that's daycare fees all over again) with uniforms (cuts down on the need for a lot of clothing); however, there's always the option of free public school. as well, at those ages, you'll luck up every other year and they'll be able to wear certain clothing 2 years in a row before necessarily needing to replace. when they reach teen years, clothing gets expensive again. i have boys and men's clothing/shoes costs more than women's (and again, i have a 16 y/o who wears men's clothing/shoes)...another expense. for girls, you're talking the same things you want/buy for yourself (clothes, gadgets, hair salon visits, etc).

bottom line, it's doable...we managed by faith, good-hearted people, penny pinching and sale shopping; you will too...it sounds like you're already on the right track!
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  #13  
December 23rd, 2010, 10:36 AM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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@Jennifer - I applied for WIC at my last OB appointment. We meet the income eligibility requirements. I'm really hoping to be able to rent a pump from them and only use breastmilk. That will save us a fortune as far as feeding goes.

@Lola - I'm hoping baby #2 is a boy for you! Sending you lots of blue vibes I think my biggest fear is having another unplanned pregnancy after this one. I am getting an IUD and don't plan on having anymore till i'm done with school so i'm selling all his stuff as soon as he grows out of it. If i get pregnant again anytime soon, i am SOL!

@hoping - I know we can do it...it's just the years until i finish school that will be the hardest. We are really going to have to be very smart with our spending. Hearing you made it as a student really gives me some hope
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Last edited by DramaFreeMama; December 23rd, 2010 at 10:46 AM.
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  #14  
December 28th, 2010, 12:58 PM
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I dont have much advice. I am currently trying to find all the stuff we need and not buy it brand new. So far I am getting my sisters old crib, we are using an old dresser and bookcase in our house. A coworker offered me a high-chair (and I am hoping that offer comes through). My bf's sister is giving us a stroller (cause its just taking up space in her garage - its a nice running one too). So I am hoping we are all set on most of hte big stuff. We will buy a new car seat closer to the birth and i have been checking out craigslist for anything else we might need. I am mostly putting off buying anything baby because we have some big expenses we need to handle (like other stuff for our pretty bare house).
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