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now im getting excited for you lol. my man was adamant that he didnt want to be a dad but i told him tough im keeping this baby and he went to all my app and scans and even thought i was more sexy preggers lol now she yells out his name and his face lights up. they have the best bond ever. nothing stronger than a bond between a father and his daughter.
I always come here and read but never post. I read your story and thought about myself. Our situations are very similar in that I had to stop taking birth control because it made me sick and gave me a pulmonary embolism and DVT. They switched me to something else but I think with the combination of other medication I was on it was ineffective so I ended up pregnant. I am 31 with an 11 year old and he is 29 with an 8 yr old. Neither one of us wanted more children because we were satisfied with two. When I told him he honestly didn't have a reaction. I don't remember him saying anything really. Things were very quiet between us for a few days and I was having bleeding and other issues because of my health issues and I didn't know if the pregnancy was going to last. He would ask me about doctor's appts and all that and I would tell him and his response would be that he was just confused. He kept talking about the birth control and why didn't it work and I understood where he was coming from but lke I told him it's not either one of our fault so dwelling on the past isn't helping the situation. Finally about 2 weeks later he asked me what I was going to do about the baby and that he would support me either way. I was happy that he said that because it took a huge pressure off my shoulders. But in the back of my mind I knew he didn't want the baby so I did think about abortion. I told him exactly what I was feeling and he still said he was supportive. Well after talking to the doctor and a few clinics it appears that its more dangerous for me to get an abortion than to carry out the pregnancy because I am on blood thinners and I really would need to have the abortion in a hospital and not a clinc and my doctor won't do it because at this point its not medically necessary. Well when I told him this he was obviously not happy and we didnt talk for about a week. I am now 16 weeks and he still hasnt accepted it. I obviously look pregnant and the other day he had the nerve to ask me about abortion clinics. I feel like I can't talk to him either. I just keep all my feelings inside and we live in the same house. It's very hard because I can't even get excited about the pregnancy because I'm still waiting for him to come around. One thing I will say is please consider how you feel and do what feels right to you. I realized that I was considering an abortion because of how he felt and not how I felt and that is not the right reason.
Hi I a 38 year old mom of a 16 yo boy and 6 yo boy currently 33weeks pregnant with a girl this pregnancy was totaly unplanned and the father, now my fiance tried to lean me toward abortion as well but I couldnt do it. He was pretty supportive, like your boy friend. Once he saw her on the ultra sound he was totaly hooked and in love and even has told me several times he is glad I didnt do it... Just hang in there and do what is best for you, in the end you have to live with what you decide... No one not even your boyfriend will be impacted by your decision like you will. Either way your in the right place for support
Thank You Patty for my pretty Siggy!!!
Last edited by sjbates72; February 13th, 2011 at 08:03 PM.
I agree with what the other girls say and I would also like to add I am in the same type of situation although I am 100% keeping it. Me and the father have only been seeing each other for about 5 months we both already have 5 year old daughters who are best friends (we met through them at their school). I have also been told he will come around and it took about 30 days for this to happen....but he seems to be doing ok with everything now and he really wants to work twoards being a family since we already have two kids from other people.
I know they are not the same same situation but please feel free to chat or message me anytime if you want to vent as I seem to go back and forth between depressed and then ok with it.....so I know how it can be overwhelming.
I too am going through something pretty similar except we're in our late 30's/early 40's. He has children from a previous marriage - 15 & 20, and I have a child from an earlier relationship that is 9. We've been seeing each other about 8 months and found out 2 weeks ago, I'm almost 6 weeks pregnant now and we're having such a hard time trying to decide what to do. He's a great guy and very supportive but we're not in love with each other just yet...we're still just enjoying each others company and getting to know one another. My son is used to it just being the 2 of us and doesn't want me to have a bf at all and my mother can't stand him for some unknown reason (Im an only child and she lives with my son & I and is a HUGE help). He's never done anything wrong & feels bad that she doesn't care for him - she says it's just something mothers know and she wants better for me. She would be so disappointed in me getting pregnant so soon, with him, AND still not married. Plus I'm in college trying to finally get a degree...a baby right now might delay that. I know I'm grown so I don't know why i care so much what everyone is going to think I'm not getting any younger and I would like another child one day I just dont know if this is the right time or person. What if we don't work out and I'll have 2 kids with 2 different men?? I always said I didn't want to do the single parent thing again, i wanted to be married before having another one. I also had an abortion in my early 20's and it was very emotional though I know now that it was the best decision at that time. We did have an appointment for a medical abortion (I dont know if i could go through with a surgical one again) over the weekend and due to some insurance mistake I wasn't able to get the procedure. I said maybe that's a sign because I had been praying that if it was meant for me to go through with this pregnancy then let me not be able to go through with the procedure for some reason and that's what happened. Oh God this is SUCH a difficult decision!!!
Sorry this is so long - i needed to vent as we haven't told anyone. Best of luck to you other ladies that are torn as well. I pray we all get clarity very soon!
keep it it was obviously a sign.
just reading your post i could tell that you want this baby, in your heart or subconsciously or call it whatever, but in your mind your scared and uncertain. a lot of times our logic is wrong, just listen to your heart
best of luck