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Hey girls. I need some help please. I had sex with someone on Feb 27th,2011, we did not use protection but later that day I took the morning after pill. Then on March 3rd,2011, I had unprotected sex with my ex boyfriend. The day after, I took the morning after pill again. Then on March 10th, I spotted blood, I thought I started my period early or something but then it stopped that day. I realized I was going to the bathroom alot and I got a pregnancy test on March 12th,11. It came up positive. I was soo shocked because I took the morning after pill after both of those times. Now, I am in a really sticky situation. I am not sure whos baby this is. The doctor told me that they will be doing an ultrasound for me to find out which day I conceived so I will know who the father is, but I am worried that it could be wrong! Or that it will be too close to tell!! idk what to do! I am freaking out here. I go for the ultrasound on March 28th. Has anyone ever had to go through this before?? And also if anyone knows about this stuff, whos baby do you think it would be? I cant believe I put myself in this situation. Please help!!! Thank you.
Those dates are to close to tell, that's weird that your doctor would tell you she could figure out who the father is with dates so close together. I was in the EXACT same situation when I conceived my son. I was with 2 guys, 4 days apart. Ultrasounds can be off as well and can't tell you the exact day you conceived. The earlier you get a ultrasound the better but even in the first trimester, the ultrasound can be off by 5-7 days...which was the case with my first ultrasound at 7 weeks (it was off by 4 days). Also, sperm can live for up to 7 days if in the perfect enviroment so you could have had living sperm from both guys in you when you ovulated. Plus, implantation can take a while sometimes and with you taking the morning after pill twice, that can really throw things off when it comes to the spotting you had. You need to just be honest with both guys and get a DNA test done when you can. I know it was hard for me to go through that while pregnant because I wanted so bad just to know who the father was and I spent the whole pregnancy comparing dates from everything hoping I could figure it out. Good Luck.
Oh and with my situation, the second guy ended up being the father even though all the ultrasound dating pointed to the first guy.
Last edited by Love My Joey; March 17th, 2011 at 10:14 AM.
Thanks for your reply. I don't know if I can go through this pregnancy not knowing who the father is. This is driving me nuts already. The reason my doctor said that she could tell me the dates is because when you are less than 12 weeks pregnant, she said they can measure the sack and it should be pretty accurate. After 12 weeks of pregnancy, the baby starts to grow at it's own pace. So I hope it's right. Idk what to do at this point.
It's tough not knowing for sure. I never really suggest using google LOL, but if you do google accuracy of ultrasound dating everything says before 12 weeks can be off by 5 to 7 days. And like I said, sperm can live for up to 7 days in your body if the conditions are right so technically when you ovulated, you could have had living sperm from both guys so it could be either guy. There just isn't a way of knowing....I know it sucks but you'll get through it. You can even get a amnio done at some point to determine paternity if you didn't want to wait until baby was born. That's just still crazy your doctor would say that LOL...I went to planned parenthood, 2 different doctors, a midwife, a high risk pregnancy place with level 2 ultrasound machines, and 2 different places that do 3d/4d ultrasounds and they ALL told me the same thing about dates and how the ultrasound could be off. My very first ultrasound at 7 weeks, it said that I conceived the day after I hooked up with the first guy and so did every ultrasound after that. Like you, the first guy and second guy were 4 days apart. But I had a DNA test done through the child support place and the second guy is my son's father. This is probably more info than you wanted LOL, but I just don't want base who the father is on one ultrasound because it just isn't that accurate. Hope everything works out for you...Good Luck!
After your ultrasound...if the date of conception is dated at a few days after the second guy, I think I would guess that it was his. Because that would be a while after the first guy if that makes you feel any better you could look at it that way. Such a tough situation...I feel for you...it really sucks feeling that way. Keep us posted
Last edited by Love My Joey; March 17th, 2011 at 12:00 PM.
Yes, its def tough. I hope I can get throught the pregnancy without stressing too much. March 28th cant come soon enough lol. I think I would def be able to tell whos baby it was after it is born though because one of the guys is white, and the other one is puerto rican, so I am sure it would be pretty obvious. But I would still do a DNA test. I just want to be able to love this baby no matter what because I dont ever want to resent it because the one guy was a one night stand (the one that I slept with on feb 27th) But regardless, this is my child so Im sure I will love it either way.
Love my joey....jw, was the 2nd guy the one who you wanted to be the father???
No...the second guy was a one night stand on new year's eve...the first guy was my ex LOL...it's crazy how things work sometimes. I put alot of faith into my first ultrasound and wasn't as honest with the first guy as I should have been. I wanted my son to be his and I told my ex that it was his. That's kind of why I mentioned you should be honest with both because I made the mistake of not being completely honest and I really regret it. The second guy isn't involved at all with my son. It's a pretty long story but he just hates the idea of having a kid with me and it's a pretty mutual feeling. I do wish for the sake of my son that he would be involved but I'm getting along just fine without him. I feel like everything happens for a reason and sometimes you just kind of have to go with it
I really think you will get through everything just fine. It's tough right now but it really isn't worth stressing over something that you have no control over at this point...I know it's easier said than done though I would get that first ultrasound done asap though since the earlier the better.
Well I went to the doctor yesterday and she said that ultrasounds can be off by a week. But I did tell her my situation with the 2 guys and I explained the timing and everything, she said although its close, it is most likely the 2nd guy (which is my ex, so thats good) because she said that you can only get pregnant on the day of ovulation. And although sperm can live up to 5 days, most of them die off before that. And unless I had a 26 day cycle, I wouldnt have ovulated when I had sex with the first guy.
Not only that, but since I took the morning after pill after the first guy, she said that will push your ovualtion back which means I probably ovulated when I had sex with my ex and then she said The pill will not work if you have already ovulated. Which would explain why it didnt work after having sex with my ex.