We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
Does anyone have any idea how long one should wait before telling their partner they are pregnant (which was not planned)?
The reason I ask is due to the high percentage of pregnancies that end in miscarriage before 12 weeks. I'd hate to put him through the stress and anxiety of an unplanned pregnancy until I know for sure it is going to be a sure thing.
I will be 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow. My first doc appointment isn't until April 24th (10 weeks). I was thinking about waiting until after that appointment to tell him, but I'm conflicted because I feel he should also know what's going on. I don't want to keep it from him or lie.
Any suggestions?? And when do you guys plan on telling your partner (not necessarily family and friends yet)?
I told my bf that I thought I was preggo before I knew for sure. But 3 pee sticks saying yes was enough. But then again we are in a committed relationship/live together and we tell each other everything. I couldn't have kept it from him (and all my morning sickness symptoms started that next day).
I would say follow your instinct on when you tell him. You know your relationship with the father best.
I told my bf the day i found out.
i dont know your relationship but he could potentially be upset that you didnt tell him right away.
i understand your position, i'm 13 weeks and am still in a sticky situation with my bf but i knew he had to know right away.
I found out I was pregnant the beginning of December, so I had planned on telling my sons father after the holidays, but he just happened to show up at my house a week or so after I found out so I told him them.
I waited until after my first appt to tell him because like you said things can happen before then and I really wanted time to myself to take it all in since it was a surprise pregnancy. Once I had my viability scan and they said everything looked good so far, I told him that night after the appt.
I told my boyfriend the day i got a positive on the home pregnancy test...actually, he was right there hovering over me when i took it.
If it was me, would tell him as soon as possible, But that's just me. You have to do what you are most comfortable with. If you want to wait till week 12, i think that is perfectly fine...but i wouldn't wait any longer than that. Good luck mama.
It is funny you mention that, I didn't want to tell Dh (who was my fiance at the time) that I was PG until I made it past 8 weeks in case I did have a M/C. I ended up talking to one of me and Dh's close friends (who has had 3 m/c and still remains infertile to this day) and she told me it would break her husbands heart if she didn't tell him she had/lost a baby. This made me want to tell Nathan, and he was glad I did so he could support me. Plus, I think it would of got really obvious. I started getting some bad M/S early on (like 5/6 weeks) and we live together so.
Don't wait to tell. You called him your "partner", and if he truly is, he'll want to (need to) be there for YOU should the pregnancy end in miscarriage. If his first thought is how stressful the pregnancy is going to be to HIM, and that he'd rather be kept in the dark, then you've got two problems: 1) the unplanned pregnancy itself and 2) the fact that your partner is too immature to be a decent parent.
With my first pregnancy, he was with me when we went for a test, so he found out the same time I did.
Second time it was planned, I told him as soon as I found out (but after i got off the phone with my BFF)
Third time, I was on the phone with my BFF, and told him after.
Fourth time, I took the test, and showed him
and the last time, I took the test at the mall, walked out of the bathroom crying, and told him while I was walking to the grocery store. (4 out of my 5 pregs with him were unplanned)
Since both of you are doing the deed it is automatically means that anytime you might get pregnant, both of you must be ready for it. When I get pregnant I tell it to my husband right away for we are truly waiting for this. No perfect time to tell your bf, anytime you can actually inform him either planned or unplanned.