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Telling the father...again...help??


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
April 29th, 2011, 02:20 AM
Newbie
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 3
Well where to start... this is my second pregnancy in 6mnths. The first ended in a devastating abortion to which im still grieving. When i first found out i was pregnant i did everything (i thought) in my power to change my situation. but with no support from anyone in my life i felt i had no choice but to abort. After 13weeks 5 days i had to let go knowing i wouldnt be able to provide having not yet found a job or a place to stay with little time left to make a decision i felt pressured and hopeless. The father was one of my closest friends, so when his reaction was that he wouldnt be there, i was floored. after months of arguing and trying to decide what was best for everyone including the child i copped out of being the mommy i always wanted to be, feeling that i couldnt do it on my own.
Now 3 moths after my abortion i find myself pregnant again, i kno dumb eh? i took the morning after pill and it just didnt work :S This time much stronger, informed and determined am not willing to give up so easy...I AM keeping it and going to do everything it takes no matter how alone or doubtful i feel. But get this.......its the same guy, i kno dumb eh? the things we women put ourselves thru when were in love i tell ya! Im getting ready to tell him tomorrow and i know exactly how hes gonna react (having experienced it 5 mnths prior) so unless hes been touched by a higher power lol or theres a miracle i dont expect a mature reaction. Please if anyone can help with some advice on how to tell this "#$@!hole" again......please any advice appreciated.....congratulations to all you new mommies and mommies to be!

Thank you,
snow flake
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  #2  
April 29th, 2011, 02:52 AM
SaraB32's Avatar Kelsey's momma
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,543
Just tell him, and tell him you are keeping the baby. I doubt he'll stick around this time either though. That's his choice of course. Give him some time, and some space, and he might come around. He might not either. As long as you are prepared to do this on your own, his reaction shouldn't influence you and your decision. Good luck!!
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  #3  
April 29th, 2011, 09:15 AM
Regular
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 68
I'd take him to coffee or somewhere public. That way he can't lash out verbally or act like an *** that he obviously is! Just break it all down for him. That you don't need him, your keeping it, and if he wants to he can sign over all parental rights. Just make sure you have all you i's dotted and t's crossed! Do any and all research about all probabilities when it comes down to your new life that will be making a grand entrance soon enough. Good luck and congrats! Don't make this stressful for yourself! You have to think about this little life you have now
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  #4  
April 30th, 2011, 04:05 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 3
thanks guys i actually ended up telling him in an arguement over txt message, because actually he was planning on ending our friendship b4 i even told him i was preg...i guess he just hung out to make sure the previous deed got don, well the jokes on him. So not only did i lose my best friend im trying to cope with the fact that he wasnt indeed my friend at all. So here i am again alone this time eitherway. but thanks again for all ur helpful advice

even at 29 they dont grow up, it sad because this is exactially the reason he hates his father.
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  #5  
April 30th, 2011, 04:08 PM
Regular
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 68
Well snow flake, I'm glad that you did tell him. It really doesn't matter how you told him, just that it's done and overwith yay!!!! Now you can focus on yourself and the baby And really know that your not alone honey; you have all us girls here on JM!!! You can always come here to vent, laugh, cry, and everything in between!!!
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  #6  
May 1st, 2011, 08:54 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,841
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpea555 View Post
Well snow flake, I'm glad that you did tell him. It really doesn't matter how you told him, just that it's done and overwith yay!!!! Now you can focus on yourself and the baby And really know that your not alone honey; you have all us girls here on JM!!! You can always come here to vent, laugh, cry, and everything in between!!!


You can do this.
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  #7  
May 2nd, 2011, 01:33 AM
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 29
Unfortunately, no matter what you say or how you say it, this situation is definitely going to cause some drama between you and your parents. If you are afraid that your father may become physically violent, you may want to tell him in a public place i.e. take him out to eat, and then break the news to him gently. He may become angry at first and make threats that he won't be helping you any more, but most people are not going to turn their backs on their children and grandchildren. Whatever you decide to do, PLEASE get your s. o. on some birth control so that this does not happen again!
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  #8  
May 5th, 2011, 06:41 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Burgh, PA
Posts: 1,623
@hannahthompson - She was talking about the baby's father, not her own. I think you are confused.

@snow flake - I agree with the other ladies. It doesn't matter how you said it, the important things is you told him and you can focus on you and your baby. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise by getting rid of the negative people in your life (your baby's father) and allowing you to focus on being a stronger and better person for yourself and now your baby.

Good luck and i wish you the best! Don't forget the girls on here if you ever need support
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Thank You Sharon for my beautiful siggy!



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  #9  
June 15th, 2011, 08:44 AM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 21
Snow flake,
YOU are awesome! And you should be so proud. You are a strong and determined person. Stick to what you know is right and what you need to do for you and that baby. I am inspired by you.
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